What aunt_zelda Thinks: The Avengers

[aunt_zelda]

I think I did this all wrong. I didn't watch when everyone else did, I waited a long time, read spoilers, learned a bunch of the in-jokes, and read some fanfic. I was also repeatedly told how awesome this movie would be, how amazing, badass, wonderful, fantastic, etc. It was hyped, is what I'm saying. And I avoided checking it out for months because I started to worry it wouldn't live up to that hype in my eyes. 

And ... I was kinda right. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but ... I wasn't wowed here. I wasn't amazed. There were some good scenes but they were too short. There were some big, well shot, dynamic action sequences, but I didn't get that invested in them. There were some funny moments, but there were also lots of jokes that just fell flat or felt out of place. I saw some good moments, some great effects, and some fantastic actors doing their best. But I also saw a lot of flaws. And mostly I was just underwhelmed. This is seriously the movie all of my friends have been going insane over all year? This is the "best movie of the year" according to geeks?

What am I missing here?! I hate this, I hate feeling like I missed out on something, or didn't see something, or focussed on the wrong parts or the wrong person or SOMETHING. Like I did something wrong here, because I didn't go crazy over this supposedly amazing kickass movie. At times, I didn't even really like it. I didn't hate it, it was a good enough movie I guess, but I didn't love it. What am I missing here?! 


Well, here's the rambling thoughts I typed as I watched. Maybe these hold clues to what's wrong with my brain.

Unflappable Agent Coulson. I like him. I don't know why.

Yes, Gamma radiation CAN be dangerous. It can cause an actor to regenerate and have absolutely nobody comment on his regeneration at all!

I like Hawkeye. He sits in high places and makes a puppy face. I think this is the beginning of a long, unhealthy relationship wherein I write way too much fanfiction about him.

So, the blue glowy box thing from the Captain America movie opens up a Stargate and … Loki appears. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people out there who want a magic box that makes Tom Hiddleston appear before them.

Also, hey, there's Dr. Mentor Guy from the Thor movie.

Loki explains nothing and totally mind-controls Hawkeye by touching him with his phallic weapon. Um … you know what, not tonight. I'm not going there tonight.

Can someone please explain to me why Tom Hiddleston looks like he's constantly on the verge of tears? Is that just his thing, or is that a Loki thing, or what.

NOOOOOO he just shot Nick Fury! (I'm kind of surprised the bullet didn't turn around in fear.)

Gratuitous car chase AWAY! (I'm not really a fan of car chases unless they involve the Blues Brothers. So … this didn't do much for me. Well shot, well edited, but … eh.)

"As of right now, we are at war."

Is it technically a war if it's an organization against like, one guy with a magic boomstick, a magic box, and mind-controlled minions? Isn't that more of a counter-terrorism thing, technically? Or a fight, or a battle? Ah well, I'm sure it sounded good in the trailers.

Oh my. Scarlett Johannson getting interrogated in a very flattering outfit. Unfortunately her hair is now much shorter. As this means it won't get in her eyes so much during fights, I am ok with that.

Lol, somebody's been watching reruns of Alias … Joss, was that you? You sly dog.

WHOA I think she just knocked that guy out with her HAIR. DAYUM.

Also, she'll quit a mission if Clint is in trouble. Awwwww.

YAY MARK RUFFALO YAAAAAAAY!

I … I really like him, ok? Not that I didn't like Norton too, but Mark Ruffalo … Mark Ruffalo … *SQUEE*

Good scene between Bruce and Natasha.

Awwwwww, I love seeing Tony and Pepper being adorable together.

"I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?"

"Not gonna be that subtle."

ILU PEPPER.

"His first name is 'Agent.'"

HEE.

Pepper promises something sexy to Tony if he stays and does homework on the Avengers instead of having awesome sex with her tonight. Can Pepper have her own movie please? I want her to have her own movie someday.

AHAHAHHAAA, Coulson watched Steve while he was asleep. Ahahahahhaaaaa. I'm sorry but … that awkwardly delivered line was just perfect.

So, Loki made some kind of deal/partnership with a guy who has a glass beard thing straight outta a Lady GaGa video, and some kind of slithery space dragon. I think. This would probably make sense to me if I read any Marvel comics beyond Runaways.

Lol, Natasha thought Coulson was going to "swoon" when they got Steve out of the ice, and apparently Coulson is very proud of his vintage Captain America trading cards. *sporfles*

Awwww, Bruce is all awkward and twitchy. I love him. Steve is comforted by the military stuff all around them, Bruce just looks like he's afraid he'll bump into something and people will start shooting at him.

Oh, I see, it's not an aircraft carrier, this is a flying ship like the Valiant from Doctor Who! Badass!

I like the S.H.I.E.L.D. uniforms.

Awwww, Coulson's fanboy crush on Steve is so adorable. But we all know what happens to cute geeks in Whedon stuff, now don't we? Get the tissues, people, we're gonna need them.

I kind of want Clint to play Sebastian Moran now. Not that the BBC could afford him. Or is legally allowed to use him.

I prefer Loki in his snazzy modern clothes. Looks like all that Snape fanart come to life.

I get the feeling there's a lot of people who'd like very much to KNEEL BEFORE ZOD LOKI and would have done so gladly without the explosions and threats.

"You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

UNF. I'm sorry, but … dayum, that was kind of incredibly sexy.

Also, so much love for the old German man who stood up and said "Not to men like you" and "There are always men like you." I'd complain about invoking Goodwin's Law so soon, but considering Captain America is here, that's fine by me.

So Steve and Loki fight, then Iron Man shows up and hijacks Natasha's plane to blast some sweet jams because Tony is many things and a total drama queen is one of them. And then Loki surrenders. Seriously Tom Hiddleston, could you stop looking like a kicked puppy for five bloody seconds? It's getting distracting!

Wait, are they seriously taking Loki back to their home base? No … no, please tell me they're more Genre Savvy than THAT. This is CLEARLY a trap to get him into the base for some reason, have they not read the Evil Overlord List?!

Did … did Thor almost kiss his brother? Ew. Seriously, please tell me I'm not the only one who saw that, he grabbed Loki by the neck/face and pulled their foreheads together … and then yanked him out of the plane. Um … what?

(Bahahaa, I posted something about that on Facebook and asked "am I supposed to read into that? Because I don't want to!" and my friend said "I don't think so … It's the Avengers, not Game of Thrones." Ahahaha, I have the best friends.)

Oh, hey, finally Loki explains his motivations and lays things out for me, the confused person watching this. NOW I get him. He thinks he was living in Thor's shadow all along and thinks Thor threw him into the Abyss, even though we all saw that the latter is a total lie and the former might not be that true either. So he thinks he's got just cause and he's really just batshit insane. Was that really so hard, Thor: The Movie? Apparently so, because the Loki in that movie made no gorram sense and never explained jack shit.

Also, Thor, stop grabbing Loki by the neck, it's making me think sexy thoughts and then freak out because you're BROTHERS and EEEEEEW. Not blood brothers but raised as brothers from infancy, so brothers in my mind.

"You think yourself above them."

*'duh' face* "Well, yes."

LOL. Please make that face again, Loki, you didn't look like you were about to cry that time!

And Thor, you're not gonna get through to this guy with words, but I appreciate that you're trying so hard.

… and he just did it again! What is it with this grabbing-him-by-the-neck-and-getting-all-close thing?! Did nobody on set pull Chris Hemsworth aside and tell him it kinda looks like he's about to kiss Tom HIddleston? Were they too embarrassed to be the first person to notice and thus just kept quiet?

And now Thor and Iron Man are going to have a fight. Because Tony isn't smart enough to talk things out right now and Thor is annoyed at this puny mortal interrupting his important exposition scene with his brother. I'm kind of annoyed too.  This isn't that classic situation where two people run into each other in the dark or weird circumstances and end up fighting even though they shouldn't be, because they're on the same side in the end. No, these two had ample time to talk things out. Instead they're fighting. Because RAWR ACTION MOVIE YAAAAAAAAAY.

I do find it awesome how Thor just headbutted Iron Man.

Tony has quickly figured out that Thor loves his Hammer and telling him to put it down probably isn't a good idea. I really hope Tony doesn't read up on those Norse myths which basically state that the Hammer truly is his penis. Because Tony won't shut up about that EVER AGAIN if he finds out.

I'm a little bummed out we don't get the ensuing discussion after the sonic boom from Mjolnir impacting against the Captain's shield. I was more interested in them talking to each other than punching each other against greenscreens. Maybe I'm in a minority here.

Why yes, they are stupid enough to bring Loki to their home base and break Rule #10 on the Evil Overlord List. Then again, it is a superstrong glass cage over a trapdoor that opens out over open sky. Points for originality I guess. Maybe Nick Fury shouldn't have been taunting Loki about it while on speakerphone, though, because the cage was built for Bruce and Bruce and the rest of the team hear about that. Loki looks and sounds far too interested in the Hulk, btw. Not sure if that squicks or intrigues me.

Loki looks a lot less kicked-puppy in this scene at least, all smug and smiles.

"Well let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something."

Lol. I wonder what Nick would bring Loki for entertainment. Something ironic?

"He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Bruce smiles painfully while looking at the videoscreen. Is he talking about Loki or Nick? And how freaked out is he to learn that cage was meant for him, with the 30,000 ft drop underneath it? We gonna follow up on that, or do I have to go looking for fanfic.

Lol, "bag full of cats." ILU Bruce. You're my favorite.

"He is also a brother."

"He killed 80 people in two days."

"… he is also adopted."

Was that supposed to be funny? *scratches head*

"That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice! But we did."

Wanton disregard for the safety of Earth's people! Give it up for S.H.I.E.L.D. background employees, people!

And now I ship Tony and Bruce. Like, instantly, once they start talking science, shaking hands, and Tony compliments first Bruce's science work and then says he's a "huge fan" of the way Bruce loses control and "turns into an enormous green rage monster." Bruce looks pained and attempts a "thank you."

Awwww, Steve is so happy he understood a pop-culture reference!

Tony promptly invites Bruce to his swank house and then stabs him with a shock pen to try and get a Hulk reaction. When Bruce doesn't freak out, he asks what the secret is, and one of his proposed theories is "a huge bag of weed." *snerk* Steve comes in to berate Tony for being a dumbass and endangering everyone, because it's not funny to mess with Bruce like that. It's really not. Bruce seems amused though, and smiles at Tony, and jokes with him, and then Tony shares his food with him. I ship them so hard, they just casually fall into this adorable friendship like instantly and I want them to make out on the lab tables and it took me by surprise!

Steve's hair is beautiful. Not nearly as beautiful as Thor's of course, but still. His uniform isn't the best, though. What's with the hoodie?

Tony and Bruce have a heart-to-heart. I wish there was more of them together in the movie, the actors work really well together.

"Love is for children, I owe him a debt."

Ooooooo … and now, hearing her backstory, I wanna have a Black Widow movie. Guest starring Hawkeye!

Best scene in the movie? Thus far, yes. Tom Hiddleston shines, all intense and insane and promising to make Clint kill Natasha "slowly, intimately" and Natasha's face flickering in nicely subtle ways … YEESH. Damn good scene, right there. How they got the word "quim" past the censors I will never know, though it's not the first time Joss has done that (*cough* Firefly *cough* The Message *cough*) And YAY Natasha was only faking being upset (or is just very good at slipping back into her mask) and rubs it in Loki's face that he didn't get to her and she got info from him. WOOT! *punches the air*

: ( They're all fighting like petty children. They'd better cut that out soon. Also, I'd have preferred more character focus and gradual bickering and friendship over several scenes, rather than one scene where everyone's issues get hashed out and all the fighting happens. At least Bruce gets some great moments.

Ok, this is good. Tony and Steve have to work together on engines. Loki is smirking. Hawkeye is badass. Natasha is being chased by the Hulk through some gorgeous industrial maze of pipes and stuff. Then Thor smashes into the Hulk and fights with him AND tries to talk to him. I love Thor. Like, a lot. Now that he's not in a terrible movie, I love him even more.

So, lots of things … smashing … being crushed … attempts at funny lines falling flat ...

Clint just shot a virus into the ship. On an arrow. I … what. Is that amazing or stupid.

"The humans think us immortal … shall we test that?"

*shivers* That was genuinely scary. And finally, Hiddleston not looking like a kicked-puppy! At least, not very much. It's the eyes and the face, I swear.

So, Coulson shows up with a giant gun … and gets stabbed. To death. By Loki. This makes me sad. But I knew it was going to happen. Because Joss is Joss. And I'd also read spoilers.

Clint and Natasha's fight was awesome! I liked it a lot! Also she made sure to knock him out, not cave when he seemed to come to at the end and blearily said her name.

Coulson tells Loki he'll fail because he "lacks conviction" and then shoots him with the cool big gun. Sweeeeeeeet!

Then he dies. That's sad.

Then the movie treats this like a huge important character died. Maybe it's because I knew he was going to die but … this didn't really pack a punch for me. He's appeared in a lot of the tie-in stuff, he's a ubiquitous character, he had that adorable fanboy thing about Captain America (he was carrying the trading cards with him when he died, and Nick tosses them across the table at Steve. Some of them have blood on them now.) I just … don't get it. I mean, it's not like Steve needed motivation, he got that all sorted out in his movie. I prefer the more subtle moments we got from this, like Thor's desperation, Natasha's fear at being hunted by the Hulk and pain at being forced to fight Clint, and Tony having to work with a team. Did we really need a death of a recognizable character to make things more serious all of the sudden? This strikes me as rather similar to the Women in Refrigerators trope, as Coulson's death serves to motivate other (primarily male) characters, and he doesn't come back from the dead. What purpose did his death serve besides giving the team a reason to stop their petty infighting and realize, oh, hey, people are dying and we should get our shit together. Did the EIGHTY PEOPLE a couple days ago that Loki killed not accomplish that?

Auuuuuuuwww, Bruce's first question when he wakes up crashed through a ceiling in a pile of bricks is if he hurt anybody. Auuuuuuuuwwww. I wanna hug him. So much hugging … who's that old guy who asks nonchalantly if Bruce is an alien? I liked him.

Wow, Fury bloodied up the cards to give the team the "push" to team up? Wow. That's kind of a dickish move.

So, Loki doesn't attack Tony while he's transforming. Kinda like in Sailor Moon!

"There is no version of this where you come out on top."

Um, Tony? Could you maybe not say things like that when you're alone in a room with Loki and he's got a thing for telling people to KNEEL? I'm … thinking THOUGHTS that I shouldn't be thinking …

Lol, and then of course Loki tries to mind-control Tony, but the tap-his-heart thing doesn't work because metal chest reactor thingie, and Tony makes a crack about "performance issues" and Loki chucks him across the room. *tugs at collar* Ahem hem hem.

Oh joy, a bunch of faceless CGI mooks the MPAA won't get mad about our heroes shooting onscreen. Wanton destruction, blah blah blah, explosions, very nicely shot chaos, very nice … I'm just not into it, is all.

I'm liking this. I guess. You know, for a big explody action sequence it's well done, engaging and all. It's just not my THING. I prefer hand-to-hand fights, or hand-to-weapon fights. You know what I mean, sieges, now those are engaging. Swords and axes. Giant alien skeleton whale thing and CGI goblins exploding NYC and planes going down and cars flipping … this does not do it for me.

Awwww, Thor tries to convince Loki to help stop this, and how they can fight alongside each other again. Loki stabs Thor in the gut with a little knife. : ( At least Thor tried!

Cars flipping, explosions … the movie is well shot and it's making my adrenaline go "wooooo!" but on a deeper level, it's not really engaging me.

I wanna see the Buddapest thing. Spinoff? Please?

Can someone please explain the skeletal fish turtle thing to me please? Is that like a thing from the comics or did they just make that up for the movie?

Clint, Natasha, and Steve fighting the goblins was way more exciting to me than any of the big explosions.

YAY, Bruce Hulks out! Awwww, the Hulk looks so happy when Steve tells him to "Smash!"

Hey, wouldn't it have been cool if Natalie Portman's character had been mind controlled and helped build the portal thingie? Just a thought.

All this wanton destruction of NYC makes me wonder about the cleanup and rebuilding and all the lives that will be messed up for months and years to come. Why don't we ever have movies about that? The post-superhero battle? Where people have to go on unemployment because their office building got leveled, or file for worker's comp because their leg got smashed by concrete, or take cabs because the subways have been shut down and are being completely rebuilt? Now that's a movie I wanna see someday.

Also, thousands of people are now dead. HAPPY EPIC SUPERHERO MOVIE!

Ahahahahahaa, I loved it when the Hulk smashed Loki. That was FUN. "Puny god" indeed! The whimpery noise Loki made after was a bit much.

Thank god that window wasn't shatterproof Clint, or you'd probably be dead.

Well, that's just cruel, Pepper not hearing her phone buzzing while Tony's about to go on a suicide mission.

Oh, the alien goblins were also robots? Was that like, established? Ok ok, whatever …

YAY, the Hulk caught Tony!

"Please tell me nobody kissed me."

Yeah, Tony, that just in the fanfiction.

Ahahahahaa, Shawarma. What is it with the Marvelverse and random food. Fondue. Shawarma.  

I hope Loki got that drink. He needed it.

Lol, lookit all the fan tattoos and fanart and Stan Lee and fangirls and fanboys. YAY. Personally I'd like a movie of all the public reactions to the destruction and superheroes. Not just a clip montage. But that's just me.

So, Thor and Loki go home with the magic box. Clint and Natasha go off together to be awesome and wonderful. Steve rides off on a motorcycle and smiles. And Tony and Bruce get in a car together. *SQUEEEEEEEE*

Nick Fury is so badass, he knows that there are sequels in place.

Ooooo, nice, I like how the final shot shows that all the letters of Stark Tower were blown off except for the signature Avengers A.

Comments

[yersi-fanel.livejournal.com]

I didn’t see Mystery Men, so when I see it, I'll tell you ;)

So, you were not impressed as your friends were, that's not a bad think. Strange? Hmmm, maybe, but not a bad thing.

I keep on thinking you got pre-programmed to basically not liking it. You dig in too much, to the point that when you actually see what it was, it didn't live to your standards and that's just… kind of weird to be honest, but hey, it not the end of the word As long as you don't got screaming that it sucks, because it actually doesn't and I don't want you to get trolled :(

Also, the Tony/Loki sexy ways is the best.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I didn’t see Mystery Men, so when I see it, I'll tell you ;)
It's a fun little movie. Ahead of it's time in my opinion, superhero movies were still very unpopular at the time. If it had come out a few years later it would have been much bigger, in my opinion.
Some of the jokes are a little crude for my tastes, but overall I love that movie so much.

So, you were not impressed as your friends were, that's not a bad think. Strange? Hmmm, maybe, but not a bad thing.
You don't understand. I go to a school with a massive film department. My friends and I talk about films constantly. I'm trying to switch into a film major. I make films with my friends. And everyone is a huge geek.
So this is going to come up at some point. And people will RAGE. And I might start crying.

I keep on thinking you got pre-programmed to basically not liking it. You dig in too much, to the point that when you actually see what it was, it didn't live to your standards and that's just… kind of weird to be honest, but hey, it not the end of the word
Everyone told me it would be awesome. I was excited about this movie. I was worried it wouldn't blow my mind, but confident it'd be a very good movie, or at least incredibly fun and something I'd want to watch with friends as soon as I got back to college. I'd watched all the tie-ins and while not all of them were amazing, most were fun and even the not-so good ones were something I'd watch again in a heartbeat, preferably with friends and popcorn.
I'm digging in "too much" because 1) I like to analyze movies, any movies, because that's what I'm into, I want to get into the film industry when I graduate, and I'm making movies with my friends at college and 2) I'm trying to figure out WHY I didn't like it. About halfway through the movie I was bewildered, THIS was the movie my friends were raving about? What was I missing? I didn't start out analyzing it, I started out thinking I would only jot down a few notes on a word document to post to my LJ about my favorite bits, moments that made me laugh, funny things I wanted to mention. I started out just watching the movie. I kept trying to just watch it, but by the end I was trying to figure out what wasn't getting to me. The action, maybe? Unless it's hand-to-hand, action doesn't really do it for me. Plus, the characters hadn't been given enough time to make connections to me, so the action sequences had pretty low stakes. They just had to fight the CGI aliens until they figured out how to blow up the thing. They weren't fighting, say, mind-controlled humans, or trying to prevent the army from getting to a location, or evacuating people. They just kinda fought CGI aliens and told people to run every now and again. And also there were like, skeleton whales in the sky. That was never explained. In fact, the CGI aliens were never really explained either. Did they want to take over Earth? Destroy it? Enslave humanity? What were they even called? Why did they want to take over? And why did they all conveniently drop dead after the portal closed? Were they robots too?

As long as you don't got screaming that it sucks, because it actually doesn't and I don't want you to get trolled :(
It didn't suck, it was an ok movie, I never wanted to turn it off or anything. But overall I was disappointed. It didn't wow me. And it had ample money, talent, and opportunity to wow me. It wowed everyone else. But for some reason, it didn't work for me. I'm not going to rant that it sucked, because it didn't, but I'm going to try and figure out WHY I didn't like it, what about it didn't work for me personally, and some movie flaws that might have contributed to this.

Also, the Tony/Loki sexy ways is the best.
Indeed! :D