What aunt_zelda Thinks: Lucky Thirteen

[aunt_zelda]

Ok, technically I’m still midway through S1 of House, but since I’ve also become a House/Wilson fangirl within, like, three days of watching the show, this means I went online spelunking for some yummy slash. And thus I have been spoiled for quite a lot of the series. And when I heard what a gayfest ‘Lucky Thirteen’ was, I had to watch it.

 

So, this is a strange sort of ‘What aunt_zelda Thinks’ as I haven’t really seen any of the episodes between episode 5 of S5 and episode 10 of S1, so loyal House-fans, bear with me. (No one ever reads these random bonus ‘WAZT’ anyway …)

 

 

 

So, we begin with … whoa there! Hot girl-on-girl action! Nobody told me about the lesbians! *dances about*

Ok, ok, seeing as the girl who I will later learn is called ‘Thirteen’ by everyone looks a like River Tam is she ever grew up to have Owen Harper’s mouth, it isn’t that hot, but it is still pretty, pretty girls making out, so joy to the world! (I hear this Thirteen chick isn’t very well liked by the fandom and has Huntington’s disease. Harsh.)

And, this being House, the other pretty girl falls out of the bed and starts having a seizure. This is almost like Torchwood, except instead of your one-night-stand turning into an alien, they have a seizure instead.

 

After the theme song (YAY, THEME SONG!) we see House watching Wilson’s office like a sweet concerned ex-boyfriend chickenhawk. A blond whom I later recognize as Cameron (the hell? What is up with that? Chase’s hair has migrated to Cameron’s head and he’s been replaced by a vaguely ethnic guy and some guy that I think I recognize from promos for The Office.) keeps pestering House about Thirteen’s girlfriend’s case, but he’s more interested in ogling Wilson than lesbians with seizures.

For some reason Wilson is lying on the floor, but his clothes aren’t rumpled enough to indicate drunken stupor. House refers to some kind of practical joke of his that made Wilson fall down, which I don’t understand, but that’s made irrelevant by the fact that soon Wilson is chomping away at a very phallic donut that House left on a plate on the floor for him. Awwww? Squee? House says it’s his way of saying ‘welcome back’ and leaves, overcome by the image of Wilson eating that phallic donut, as you do. (Honestly, how is this not considered canon yet?)

 

Blah blah, girls who love girls. House is just as excited as I am by the prospect of girl-on-girl lovin’, but, being House, his way of expressing this is by being an ass … and I sort of blush and eat some popcorn. It’s fun to imagine his reaction if Thirteen was a guy and having one-night-stands with guys, though …

 

I actually kinda like Thirteen. She seems to be holding her own against House, or at least she’s trying to, and that’s something I admire in a person: sticking up to bullies. Even inexplicably hot bullies like House. I know she isn’t much for the facial expressions, but we’ve got House for those.

 

Lol. Wilson stops at the red lights in Grand Theft Auto. Hee hee ‘pizza.’ That’s my new favorite euphemism. Heh, ‘one out of 8 people in this country.’ I love this detective-guy, and I love that House hired one to stalk Wilson for him check in on Wilson after the horrible events of the S4 finale which I haven’t seen yet but I gather there was a dead woman involved whom Wilson loved and it was somehow House’s fault. It’s just so … cute and slashy and wonderful.
(Edit: Housie made a friend! *claps*)

 

Oh House, you did not need to give me nasty thoughts about Cuddy spanking Thirteen. Really, you didn’t. *fans self desperately and flees to the shower*

 

“I miss this,” House opines.

“Me too,” Wilson says. “Me: trying to work … you: interrupting.”

Silly Wilson, that’s how fanfics get started!

 

Oh god. For a second there it sounded like Wilson was going to say ‘she’s a he’ and make fangirls everywhere dance on the head of a pin House’s cane!

*squeaks* Oh, Wilson … if you were ‘hurting’ and ‘wanted to feel good’ you ought to have gone to House! *wibbles*

What? House goes to prostitutes? *ears prick up in excitement* Any rent-boys in the mix? *edges towards keyboard*

 

“Well, if you’re happy, I’m …” and House, overcome with emotion, leaps up from the couch and flees. Wilson looks bemused, but he could be gloating. This is totally an elaborate hoax to goad House into admitting his true feelings for Wilson.  

 

Buwuh? Wilson’s first wife had a wooden leg?! alfjafldkajflajflajflajflfakjladjfa!!!

Ok, this is just getting ridiculously blatant now. I’m betting that they’re gonna kiss in this year’s Christmas episode. Place your bets in the comments!

 

“I know what it’s like to get this news, and no one should have to get it from you.”

Ooooo, burn! (I still like her, ok? I can’t help it!)

 

Awwwwww! I admit it, I squeed when Thirteen snuggled up next to what’s-her-name. In that minute, I wanted them to get married and be bitter, adorable, dying lesbians for as long as it took Thirteen to die.

 

Bhahahahahhaaa! Wilson, you rock! “You invoked your dead girlfriend’s name to sell me! You’re my hero.” And … House totally has his ‘turned-on’ face right at the end of that sentence. *shivers in all manner of ways*

Wilson! You naughty boy! (I wonder what he did do with the hooker … did he really bury her in his basement or play Grand Theft Auto with her or what? I bet they didn’t even do anything sexual! Maybe he cried to her about House and their issues and she patted him on the back. Someone write me that fanfic!)

 

“You’re going to keep following me, aren’t you?” Wilson sounds almost hopeful there!

“It’s what we do.” Hee! It’s how they roll!

“Be outside my apartment at eight-o’clock tonight.” Wilson says, already exhausted by all the fanfics that one line spurred.

 

Is it wrong of me to believe that House re-hired Thirteen because he’s going to paint in cane rainbow in a future episode and elope with Wilson, and re-hiring her is his backwards way of showing favoritism?

 

“It’s like you and men: just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t.” … I … have no words for that one, ladies.

 

“Another life saved by girl-on-girl action.” *giggles* Housie, you’re just spoiling us now.

 

Foreman! You ought to have kissed her … or hugged her or something!

 

*sporfles* “… or this is some kind of weird ‘if you build it, they will come’ moment.”

 

Poor Housie! Once again he says “If you’re happy, I’m …” and flees from the heterosexuality. Wilson, chase him! Scream ‘House!’ in the rain below his window! *pushes him out the door after House*

 

Oh, no, Thirteen, not another one! *wibbles*

 

 

 

 

Ah well, I’m off to watch S1 House. Must … catch … up … before … they … start … kissing … (though with the way the show is going, it doesn’t appear that I’ll have enough time to do that …)

Comments

[lovemyfaceoff.livejournal.com]

man i don't like thirteen at all. -grumbles- But to be fair I don't like that many female characters - not because I'm opposed to female characters. Just because most of them seem to be written in a way that I hate.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there seems to be a shortage of strong, competent female characters these days ... *sighs* at least things are looking up for women on Heroes, though? I mean, Tracey and Daphne are becoming my favorite characters this year, and I usually don't like Ali Later!

[lovemyfaceoff.livejournal.com]

I still haven't made up my mind about Tracey but I looooooove Daphne.

[antinous-wild.livejournal.com]

First of all, you should catch up on House! The House/Wilson is totally blatant starting from the fourth season, and it just escalates from there. (The dead girlfriend, Amber, is AMAZING and made that whole season for me.) And season five has been explosively gay.

As far as Thirteen goes, I've actually started to like her much more lately. Her characterization was really, really heavy-handed throughout the fourth season, but once they stopped trying so hard to develop her and stopped trying to establish sexual tension between her and House, she got about a billion times better. I actually, yes, like her now. Especially in the latest episode. :D

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I WILL catch up on House ... I've already gotten the people I share the Netflix list addicted! (Well, VERY interested, which is as good as it's going to get between me and them.)

They should know not to force sexual tension. Either it happens or it doesn't, and it looks bad when you try and force it.

[prettyarbitrary.livejournal.com]

Thirteen is fairly cool. I mainly like her attitude toward House. I mean, I love the man, but anybody willing to push back when he's an ass scores points with me (which makes Cuddy one of my favorite people).

I haven't seen this episode yet. My roommates get queasy when they see the show, so I wait for it to hit Hulu and watch it online. But now I can't wait! *fidgets*

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I mainly like her attitude toward House. I mean, I love the man, but anybody willing to push back when he's an ass scores points with me
*nodnod* I concur ... as I usually do, with you!

Cuddy is one of my favorite characters for many, many reasons. *blushes* I think I have some kind of crush on her ... *skulks away*

This episode wasn't very squicky at all, but I can understand where they're coming from. Sometimes the show just gets plain NASTY in the way of cameras inside someone's body or surgery. *shudders*

surfthechannel has got the episode, that's how I watched it.

[prettyarbitrary.livejournal.com]

Heh, I've nearly got a crush on Cuddy, and I'm not even interested in girls! :D

*charges off to surfthechannel* Gottago, talktoyalater!

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

Love 13 but 13 and Foreman together makes me want to stab my eyes out with a rusty spoon then use them to play 8 ball.

Great and funny recap. :)

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like her a lot ... but 13/Foreman ... *shakes head* Foreman, you're gonna be the next House, not the next Capt. Jack Harkness!

Thank you again!