*shaken*

[aunt_zelda]

Yesterday was utterly fantastic ... until I misplaced by notepad and had a nervous breakdown.
Seriously, I've NEVER done something like that before, but I started half-hyperventalating and whimpering and shaking and clutching at my hair and almost-crying and digging through trashbags weakly and ... it was not a pretty sight. When someone found them I broke down even harder and SOBBED onto his shoulder.
Yesterday evening, two hours after I got said notes back, I was STILL shaking internally. I tried to type up this stuff, but then my 103-and-a-half-year-old relation's chair was delivered and I fell apart all over again. I have NEVER cried like that before, EVER EVER EVER. I made these terrifying wailing noises and ... *still scared of self*
Thankfully some of my relations were around, seeing as we carpooled to the auction yesterday, so I wasn't alone, but still ... *shivers*

Last night/this morning I had a TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE dream involving SKIN and ... yeah, I won't say any more, but it was AWFUL. *feels sick with self*

In other news:
I helped my mother deliver a wedding cake on Saturday (the groom was British) and I lent the groom a pen! *swoons*
That-Guy was at the auction. He didn't see me break down, and he looked DAMN FINE in a white-button-down shirt! *giggles* I was envious of the grapes he was eating, is that strange? ...

Anyhoodle, this week DW comes back, and I plan on finishing off that literary magazine! *takes deep breath*

Comments

[sword-etc.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Just one of those days? It happens. Hope you're feeling better. :D

And no, it's not strange to envy grapes. I used to envy my (well, then) girlfriend's perfume for some strange reason. XD

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Thank you for hugs! I am feeling much, much better, with the help of sleep, work, and Eddie Izzard youtube vids.

Ok, good to know I'm not being strange for envying grapes ... you're a lesbian too? *blinkblink* So many slashers are lesbians ... *so bemused*

[everworld2662.livejournal.com]

Wow. =( Was it just one of those random things, or was the notepad kind of uber important?

Whichever, *hugs*

DW!!!!!! Isn't it finishing freakishly soon? =O

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

The notepad IS important ... but not vital to my existence or anything ... just three tiny sticky note pages of notes ... *sigh* I dunno, for some reason I just broke down ...
Thank you for the hugs!

Yeah, it's just past the half-season mark ... *worried* Rose is coming ... *teeth chattering* DON'T BRING BACK THE MARY-SUE, BRING BACK MY MISTER MASTER!

[everworld2662.livejournal.com]

=O =O =O

Did...did you just accuse Rose of being a Mary-Sue? =O

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I love Rose. I love her so very, very much. She SAVED Nine from falling into the Abyss. But in S2 she got a little ... odd. All that business that made fangirls insist that she and the Doctor are 'meant to be' and 'totally in love' and all that jazz greatly annoys me, because the Rose/Doctor relationship is not romantic at all. It's love, but a 'you saved me from myself' love, not a 'lets have tiembabies' love.
Rose's sendoff in 'Doomsday' made me CRY. But now that she's coming back in S4 ... future viewers will watch the wonderful, soul-wrenching scene at the end of 'Doomsday' and be all 'bah, whatever, she comes back in S4 ... let's skip all the healing work Martha did in S3, watch the Master, and skip to the end of S4, mmmkay?' which is WRONG WRONG WRONG.
I should not have called Rose a Mary-Sue, but towards the end of S2 she was teetering on that very dangerous edge.

[everworld2662.livejournal.com]

-WHY- is everyone so obsessed with the Master? I don't see it. Frankly, he's an idiot! I am so monumentally disinterested by him. [/grr moment]

Rose is fantastic. I certainly never saw her Sue-ness -- though at least you backed it up, and I can totally see where you're coming from.

Rose/Doctor...I have absolutely no problem with. I do believe it's romantic, in that it's far deeper than romantic. Ever read Robin Hobb? "I love you. I place no limits on that love." That makes sense to me. But anyway, that's just me as well. XD

I will say that the way the Doctor has to kiss every woman he comes across now is pissing me off quite considerably, however. (Especially the Astrid thing. What the fuck was that. =()

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

-WHY- is everyone so obsessed with the Master? I don't see it. Frankly, he's an idiot! I am so monumentally disinterested by him. [/grr moment]
... *blinkblink* ... uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh ... if you don't see the hotness that is John Simm, I'm afraid I can't help you ...
What about the fact that the Master stole all the Doctor's fangirls the minute he came onscreen, and NO ONE CARED? How about all the fans who said they STILL would've voted Saxon? THE DANCING?! THE PHONESMEX?!
Doctor/Master is my OTP ... it's just ridiculously canon and wonderful and been happening ... well, forever.

I still say Doctor/Rose is NOT a romantic lovey-love thing. There's love, but not LOVE-love. (Please don't throw shoes at me! *ducks*)

I will say that the way the Doctor has to kiss every woman he comes across now is pissing me off quite considerably, however.
Yeah, he DOES kiss a bit too much ... maybe it's because he's turning into a dirty old man?

(Especially the Astrid thing. What the fuck was that. =()
That was the Doctor trying to recover from JUST 'loosing' his boyfriend and ending up loosing almost everyone on that damn ship.

[prettyarbitrary.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Panic attack. They can be scary, but not really dangerous, other than the threat of hyperventilating yourself into unconsciousness. Sounds like you're under a lot of stress, though. Some people have them as a recurring neural or psychological condition, but it's also possible to get one out of the blue just because you're strung out and exhausted and on your last nerve, and something hits that's simply the final straw, no matter how small or stupid it seems as an individual event, and you find yourself having a freak-out without being able to control yourself.

It's okay. It's not a good sign for your mental state at the moment, but it doesn't necessarily signify anything more catastrophic than that you need a break. Just try to get some rest and relax in whatever way lets you put things aside for a little bit, if you can.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Thank you oh-so-very much! *slumps* I'm ok now, yesterday was just ... yeah, this past weekend was very stressful indeed ... thank GOD it's over ... no stress in sight! *beams* The literary magazine I'm compiling/producing is going much better than last year, I got the cover today, now all I need to do is COPY ...

(Have you been reading my fics? I miss your comments ...)

[prettyarbitrary.livejournal.com]

I got busy with an imminent deadline for a couple of weeks, so I'm behind on reviewing. But I'm going to read them today!

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's ok, this past week has been ridiculously stressful for me (re: nervous breakdown, literary magazine, etc.)
Yay! *dances off to read your comments*

[damedbx.livejournal.com]

what happened to you??

awwww. *hugs*

LOl he's british! ;)
Aren't they utterly hot???

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I don't KNOW what happened to me? Stress ... stress like never before, I suppose ...
Thanks for the hugs!
That-Guy that I adore isn't British, but the groom at the wedding I helped my mother deliver a cake to WAS. (Lucky bride ... though he smoked. *sigh* Still, VERY nice and hot!)

[damedbx.livejournal.com]

AH. I am getting to that stage now! *Sigh*

XD

XD Definitely!!! *le sigh* I want one!