Medication progress
Sep. 17th, 2020 02:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aunt_zeldaJust made a phone call.
The familiar prickling anxious heat wasn't there.
How long have I lived with that and not realized.
It's like that scene where Rock Lee takes off his weights, but I didn't realize I had them on this whole time.
How much can I accomplish now?!
I feel like there was this separate thing sharing my body and it's just, gone? I feel colder. I feel hollowed out. There's so much SPACE in my body now?
I was afraid I would become a different person. I think it's more just, realizing who I am now that it's just me here?
One of my fears of going on meds was that I would be a different person. In general I really like who I am! What if I totally transformed? Change is good, but change is also very scary.
I'm ... still me. It's just that this force that was sharing my body for years is gone.
There's all this ... space, inside me now? I didn't realize I had a super close roommate this whole time. Now I have room to spread out.
I have no idea if this makes any sense. I hope that it helps someone out there who might be worried about taking meds?
It's like that scene where they ripped Venom out of Tom Hardy's body, except I didn't know that was in me the whole time and it wasn't a cool space goo monster romance, it was a prickly too-warm thing that made everything in my life more difficult than it needed to be.
The familiar prickling anxious heat wasn't there.
How long have I lived with that and not realized.
It's like that scene where Rock Lee takes off his weights, but I didn't realize I had them on this whole time.
How much can I accomplish now?!
I feel like there was this separate thing sharing my body and it's just, gone? I feel colder. I feel hollowed out. There's so much SPACE in my body now?
I was afraid I would become a different person. I think it's more just, realizing who I am now that it's just me here?
One of my fears of going on meds was that I would be a different person. In general I really like who I am! What if I totally transformed? Change is good, but change is also very scary.
I'm ... still me. It's just that this force that was sharing my body for years is gone.
There's all this ... space, inside me now? I didn't realize I had a super close roommate this whole time. Now I have room to spread out.
I have no idea if this makes any sense. I hope that it helps someone out there who might be worried about taking meds?
It's like that scene where they ripped Venom out of Tom Hardy's body, except I didn't know that was in me the whole time and it wasn't a cool space goo monster romance, it was a prickly too-warm thing that made everything in my life more difficult than it needed to be.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-01 01:54 am (UTC)