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aunt_zeldaClunky exposition voice-over narration
Important Martyred Inspirational Father Cliche
Teenagers being dramatic.
This is dumb.
I LOVE IT.
*smashes glass* ANOTHER!
Is that incest.
.
.
How the hell did they afford Imagine Dragons.
.
.
A gang just spontaneously manifested. Great.
"I have an idea. You two go, find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change." Oooooooo. I like that guy. That Peter Petrelli Hair Guy. I hope he doesn't die soon.
I also like Shaggy Haired guy.
I'm not gonna learn anyone's names until we're at least 6 episodes in. No telling who's cannon fodder and who's being charming and appealing to create an emotional reaction when they die and who's gonna stick around a while.
Except Blondie, that is.
.
.
Snarky Girl tells us her motivations and backstory instead of demonstrating them. This is lazy writing, but I'll forgive them a few times because it's a big ensemble cast and a lot of world-building to establish in 45 minutes.
.
.
Wait, you're leaving the kid everyone else hates there, wounded and friendless? They're gonna EAT HIM.
.
.
I bet there's no condoms in their jackets. So … Snarky Girl's first order of business is to get STIs and possibly pregnant when they have no medical supplies? GREAT IDEA.
.
.
Oooooo, see, this is a cool thing I am interested in. SPACE POLITICS. Doctors and engineers and space dictators having to make difficult decisions for the survival of humanity. If there's enough of this, I could be happy to keep watching.
.
.
Shaggy: We have to warn them.
Blondie: That's what my father said. *hearts in eyes*
Me: Euuuuggghghghhgh!
"You remind me of my father" is not a healthy way to start a relationship.
.
.
Oh yes, let's all swim in radiation-filled water that the deformed deer drink from. GREAT PLAN!
I have a theory. All these children die. The adult drama survives.
.
.
See, Peter Petrelli Hair Guy is only doing this to save himself from being hunted down for the assassination thing, but he's also got other, good reasons too that aren't entirely selfish. I'm liking this ethical and moral debating going on here. Just wish it didn't have uncomfortable racism parallels when talking to a black guy.
I kind of wish after Peter Petrelli Hair said "You can do whatever the hell you want" Limping Boyfriend had kissed him. I mean, why not? It'd have been a good moment. I'm just saying.
.
.
Why do adults in the future wear nothing but black and navy blue.
Why do adults in the future speak only in expository dialogue.
I thought that guy was the Wolf from the 10th Kingdom but I guess not.
Oh my god do you think we're 5 years old you don't have to lay out the character traits and motivations FOR US just let us INFER THEM FROM THE TEXT.
This might be the clunkiest dialogue I've heard in a long time. And I'm actively studying tv.
If the mom doesn't survive I'm quitting. I don't care if this is fucking homework. I have a genuine emotional connection to her and her plight, I hope she succeeds in her goals, and I ship her and the Asian Lady.
.
.
Aw, gross, they're just sleeping out in the open. You're gonna get COVERED in dew in the morning, it's gonna be all gross and clammy … blerg.
.
.
I'm way more invested in the adult storylines than the teenagers' storylines.
Does this mean I am truly an adult now.
I keep forgetting I’m an actual adult. I think it’s gonna hit me once I graduate in a few months, that I can’t even cling to the “I’m still in college” bubble mindset anymore, and I’ll be an actual, out of college, dealing with debt, adult.
… sorry, got a bit off track there.
.
.
Gee here’s an idea kids: why doesn’t EVERYONE on the away-team sleep with Shaggy Haired Guy? Stop bickering about who’s gonna sleep with whom and just fuck in a pile of skinny jeans. Just get it over with. Then could we please get back to the GODDAMN PLOT.
… I feel that I am probably missing the point of this show.
.
.
See now I wish I hadn’t read spoilers by accident a while back. I know that footprint is probably … um, shall we say, NOT from a monkey.
.
.
Let’s see how many villain clichés we can cram onto Acting Dictator Man!
.
.
So, um a gang of white guys attacking a black guy out in the middle of nowhere. Allegedly for reasons of social cohesion.
Um … um …
… you know one of the things I heard about this show was its uncomfortable issues with race.
I’m … seeing that.
.
.
OH THANK GOD SHE WASN’T EXECUTED. My heart started racing. Jesus H. Christ. Protect the Mom at all costs.
Y’know, you should deal with Backstabby Asshole there right now. Take the doctor out and throw Backstabby Asshole in. Throw him out into space. Go for it. Save you so many problems down the line I bet.
.
.
So, Goggles dies. Which I knew was coming, but he dies not by swinging over, or via giant fish, but by a big spear right through the stomach. Yeesh.
.
.
So … overall, I’m intrigued. I need to keep watching for class. I’m told things get better. I’m very invested in the stuff on the space station. The kids … ehhhh. Shaggy Haired Guy has potential. Blondie has potential. I’m curious what Peter Petrelli Hair Guy will do in the future.
Mostly I’m just relieved it wasn’t a PoC who died first, or a lady who took off her pants.
Anyhoodle, excited for more!
Important Martyred Inspirational Father Cliche
Teenagers being dramatic.
This is dumb.
I LOVE IT.
*smashes glass* ANOTHER!
Is that incest.
.
.
How the hell did they afford Imagine Dragons.
.
.
A gang just spontaneously manifested. Great.
"I have an idea. You two go, find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change." Oooooooo. I like that guy. That Peter Petrelli Hair Guy. I hope he doesn't die soon.
I also like Shaggy Haired guy.
I'm not gonna learn anyone's names until we're at least 6 episodes in. No telling who's cannon fodder and who's being charming and appealing to create an emotional reaction when they die and who's gonna stick around a while.
Except Blondie, that is.
.
.
Snarky Girl tells us her motivations and backstory instead of demonstrating them. This is lazy writing, but I'll forgive them a few times because it's a big ensemble cast and a lot of world-building to establish in 45 minutes.
.
.
Wait, you're leaving the kid everyone else hates there, wounded and friendless? They're gonna EAT HIM.
.
.
I bet there's no condoms in their jackets. So … Snarky Girl's first order of business is to get STIs and possibly pregnant when they have no medical supplies? GREAT IDEA.
.
.
Oooooo, see, this is a cool thing I am interested in. SPACE POLITICS. Doctors and engineers and space dictators having to make difficult decisions for the survival of humanity. If there's enough of this, I could be happy to keep watching.
.
.
Shaggy: We have to warn them.
Blondie: That's what my father said. *hearts in eyes*
Me: Euuuuggghghghhgh!
"You remind me of my father" is not a healthy way to start a relationship.
.
.
Oh yes, let's all swim in radiation-filled water that the deformed deer drink from. GREAT PLAN!
I have a theory. All these children die. The adult drama survives.
.
.
See, Peter Petrelli Hair Guy is only doing this to save himself from being hunted down for the assassination thing, but he's also got other, good reasons too that aren't entirely selfish. I'm liking this ethical and moral debating going on here. Just wish it didn't have uncomfortable racism parallels when talking to a black guy.
I kind of wish after Peter Petrelli Hair said "You can do whatever the hell you want" Limping Boyfriend had kissed him. I mean, why not? It'd have been a good moment. I'm just saying.
.
.
Why do adults in the future wear nothing but black and navy blue.
Why do adults in the future speak only in expository dialogue.
I thought that guy was the Wolf from the 10th Kingdom but I guess not.
Oh my god do you think we're 5 years old you don't have to lay out the character traits and motivations FOR US just let us INFER THEM FROM THE TEXT.
This might be the clunkiest dialogue I've heard in a long time. And I'm actively studying tv.
If the mom doesn't survive I'm quitting. I don't care if this is fucking homework. I have a genuine emotional connection to her and her plight, I hope she succeeds in her goals, and I ship her and the Asian Lady.
.
.
Aw, gross, they're just sleeping out in the open. You're gonna get COVERED in dew in the morning, it's gonna be all gross and clammy … blerg.
.
.
I'm way more invested in the adult storylines than the teenagers' storylines.
Does this mean I am truly an adult now.
I keep forgetting I’m an actual adult. I think it’s gonna hit me once I graduate in a few months, that I can’t even cling to the “I’m still in college” bubble mindset anymore, and I’ll be an actual, out of college, dealing with debt, adult.
… sorry, got a bit off track there.
.
.
Gee here’s an idea kids: why doesn’t EVERYONE on the away-team sleep with Shaggy Haired Guy? Stop bickering about who’s gonna sleep with whom and just fuck in a pile of skinny jeans. Just get it over with. Then could we please get back to the GODDAMN PLOT.
… I feel that I am probably missing the point of this show.
.
.
See now I wish I hadn’t read spoilers by accident a while back. I know that footprint is probably … um, shall we say, NOT from a monkey.
.
.
Let’s see how many villain clichés we can cram onto Acting Dictator Man!
- traitor to his friends
- would sentence a child to die
- follows the rules to a ridiculous degree, up to sentencing important people to death for doing things like administering medical care
- listens to classical music while chilling out
- wears black
- claims “you all think I’m the bad guy!” while acting like a bad guy
- says friendship is for suckers
- makes creepy sexual overtures to his girlfriend
.
.
So, um a gang of white guys attacking a black guy out in the middle of nowhere. Allegedly for reasons of social cohesion.
Um … um …
… you know one of the things I heard about this show was its uncomfortable issues with race.
I’m … seeing that.
.
.
OH THANK GOD SHE WASN’T EXECUTED. My heart started racing. Jesus H. Christ. Protect the Mom at all costs.
Y’know, you should deal with Backstabby Asshole there right now. Take the doctor out and throw Backstabby Asshole in. Throw him out into space. Go for it. Save you so many problems down the line I bet.
.
.
So, Goggles dies. Which I knew was coming, but he dies not by swinging over, or via giant fish, but by a big spear right through the stomach. Yeesh.
.
.
So … overall, I’m intrigued. I need to keep watching for class. I’m told things get better. I’m very invested in the stuff on the space station. The kids … ehhhh. Shaggy Haired Guy has potential. Blondie has potential. I’m curious what Peter Petrelli Hair Guy will do in the future.
Mostly I’m just relieved it wasn’t a PoC who died first, or a lady who took off her pants.
Anyhoodle, excited for more!
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Date: 2015-02-16 01:17 am (UTC)