What aunt_zelda Thinks: Thor

[aunt_zelda]

Yeah, yeah, late to the party and all. My friends were going crazy for the Avengers this spring and I … had only seen Iron Man. It wasn't a high priority for me, for some bizarre reason. I mean, Whedon … I should have been all over that, right? But no.

And then the internet exploded with it and hasn't stopped. And I started to poke around with the fanfiction a bit, and read some good stuff, and got a decent understanding of the Avengers, and learned via the fanfic and fandom secrets that a huge portion of the online shenanigans are about how you feel about Loki, Tom Hiddleston, and copious amounts of "feels" concerning him. So … yeah. After getting berated and encouraged by my friends at college and wanting to understand more of the fanfic, and genuinely wanting to see what is apparently "TEH GREATEST MOVIE EVER OMG SQUEEEEEEEEEE" (source: all of my friends, especially the quiet guys who don't get excited for much in life unless it has to do with a camera) … I resolved to watch all the tie-in movies, or at least most of them, and then the Avengers over Christmas break.

So here I am, watching Thor.

Thoughts typed as I was watching:

Gotta say, at first, I am not impressed. Like, at all. The first big action sequence is dark and edited so quickly I can't see most of what's going on. The costumes are laughably bad, especially the zipper-tunic thing Odin was wearing. Asgard looked … horrible. Like a pipe organ and RTD-Era Gallifrey and Theed had a baby. 

While I do like the idea of the Asgardians being like interdimensional space-traveling badasses who just got worshipped as gods, I wish they'd elaborated more on that idea. Because it's pretty badass. 

Just as I was wondering how long the movie was going to be and how much of this bad cheesiness I was expected to sit through in order to get to the Avengers … I began to see two big draws to this movie. Namely, Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston. Eye candy, om nom nom, etc. I mentioned this on my Facebook and one of my lesbian friends gushed about Chris Hemsworth's hair, and I had to concur. (Seriously, I just wanna braid it and play with it … )

Ok, ok, the whole Bifrost sequence is very pretty, I will give you that. 

Lol, college intern tasers Thor, God of Thunder. That will never stop being funny. *sporfles*

Ok, ok, Thor didn't start out so good as a movie, but now that Chris Hemsworth is bumping into stuff and making hilarious faces, it's at least enjoyable!

Wait, am I supposed to be rooting for SHIELD when they up and steal years worth of research, handmade scientific equipment, and an intern's iPod with no explanation and no promise of return? Wouldn't it have been easier to just do an inventory, copy the research, ask Natalie Portman to keep them updated, and post two guys in a car to spy on her? Wouldn't that make her more willing to cooperate and people less afraid of them? 
Dicks.

Also, my sympathies are entirely with Loki here at this point in time. He's smart and keeps getting passed up for promotion because the brash aggressive popular dude gets all the glory and keeps dragging him and their friends into trouble. He finds out his whole life has been a lie, he gets pissed, and then he makes himself king because he's clearly a more level-headed ruler than Thor, who just up and started a war. Started. A war. 
Sorry, I love Thor, dude's nice to look at and pretty funny, but come on, he's not king-material at all. 

I love the female characters in this movie. Especially Jane and Darcy. They're great. More of them, please!

This movie won major points from me for having Jane and Thor laughing and talking to each other and Jane swerving off the road because she wasn't keeping her eyes on the road. So many movies have characters driving and never swerve off the road while they talk to each other practically face-to-face. Major brownie points, movie, major brownie points!

Much better action sequence while Thor is racing through the camp to get to his hammer. MUCH better action sequence! I can like, see stuff happening! 

Also, OH HAI HAWKEYE! I KNOW YOU FROM THE FANFICTION! :D EXCEPT THAT'S ALL I KNOW ABOUT YOU! THIS WILL BE VERY AWKWARD!

I like how this movie isn't afraid to have quiet scenes, or scenes with minimal dialogue to let us watch the characters reacting to what's happening around them. 

I will admit to really enjoying Chris Hemsworth in that wet t-shirt. And fighting in the mud. DAAAAAAYUM. Why does he wear that silly armor most of the time, dude should wear that t-shirt all the time instead!
(Usually I don't like muscly guys. I'm making an exception for Thor.)

"Magic's just science we don't understand yet! Arthur C. Clarke!" 
Jane, I love you. Seriously, you are a wonderful character and I'm so happy  you exist. It's too bad you're not really used much, but hey, you're not ridiculously shoehorned into the plot either or crammed into a skimpy outfit, which is more than I can say for other movies. 

Thor has really pretty eyes. I say "Thor" because I'm pretty sure those are contacts, they look kinda unearthly. Unless those are Chris Hemsworth's real eyes, in which case WHOA. The camera focuses on them nicely during the interrogation scene. 

Ok, all that sympathy I had for Loki? It's slipping away very quickly. He just made Thor CRY. Bastard! Thor doesn't seem to harbor any ill-will towards you, he seemed pretty fond of you actually. If you wanna dick around with anyone it should be Odin, the guy who STOLE YOU WHEN YOU WERE A BABY FROM YOUR FAMILY and then raised you as … I'm not really sure why he raised you as a son, but you've got all kinds of Theon Grayjoy angst going on with that and let's be real, that NEVER ends well. 

Oh, and all these lies? These pointless stupid lies? Where is the motivation here? If you don't want Thor back, you don't need to taunt him and tell him his dad is dead and his mom wants him to stay gone and he can't go home EVER AGAIN. That's just needlessly dickish. I'd understand if he was doing this to Odin, but Thor, his brother who doesn't even know about the whole Frost Giant Baby Napping? Where is the logic here? Is Loki just doing this for the lols? I don't know, the movie isn't letting me know. Apparently to some, this dickish behavior can be excused because Tom Hiddleston is pretty. And while I do see the appeal, that doesn't excuse the actions of a total dick of a character who went from sympathetic to cartoonishly evil in roughly three scenes. And they were SHORT scenes. "My whole life has been a lie?! WTF?! Was I just a stolen artifact like that box?! … muahahahhaa, hey, Thor, dad's dead and mommy doesn't love you! Muahahahaa!"
… There's a disconnect there. Am I the only one seeing that? Are there like, deleted scenes that explain things better?

Lol, nice subtle moment with Dr. Mentor Guy and Thor drinking together. 

Changed my mind. Loki is definitely a dick, and swiftly losing any goodwill I had towards him by 1) making Thor cry and 2) not explaining his motivations well enough. Whereas the Jotun king Laufey has pretty much all of my sympathy. Some asshole stole his magic box, which apparently means his kingdom is in ruins and dead and stuff, Asgardians just waltz in and stomp over things, and his kid got stolen ages ago.
(Just googled Laufey's name because something didn't seem right in my memory. Laufey is supposed to be Loki's MOTHER. Arrrrrrgh!)

"We drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud!" Thor's adorable grin when he delivers that line makes me so happy for some reason. I don't drink, but I wanna go out drinking with Thor. I would probably be out like a light in no time, but it would be FUN. Thor isn't an overly angsty superhero, he has fun. I like that. 

Does S.H.I.E.L.D. seriously think they can keep the public from finding out about superheroes and stuff? Doesn't the Hulk like, tear up cities in broad daylight? Doesn't this exist in the same universe as the FREAKING X-MEN??!?!?!?!?!? Why bother suppressing Jane's SCIENCE papers and stealing all of her equipment when there's people zipping around through the air all the time?

Lol, I like Heimdall. Why he's randomly black I have no idea, but I'm not gonna complain. 

Just once, I want superheroes walking around in a city when there's a comic con going on. 

*sporfles* I love how Thor's friends knock on the door and have the biggest grins ever when they see him. So cute!

"Thor … your father still lives."
Well, that was easy. 

Whoa, giant robot! 
The effects for this big "Blow Up the Town and Smash Things" fight range from pretty good to pretty bad. 
P.S. I am now seriously in love with Sif. She's pretty underplayed but I love her. She's badass but has a personality beyond "RAWR, I am the STRONG. FEMALE. CHARACTER. box ticked off!" And she wears sensible armor and ties her hair back. All the love for Sif. 

… huh. You know, I'm not sure I've seen this in a mainstream movie before. 
Thor walks up to the giant robot, pretty much powerless, no armor or weapons, and sincerely apologizes to Loki (who is listening in) for whatever Thor's done to wrong him (though Thor doesn't know, and neither do I to be honest), and then says the people in the town are innocent and Loki should spare their lives … but take Thor's. And then the robot backhands Thor. GEEZ.

And then Odin cries in his sleep and the Hammer returns to Thor and he's all better now, and badass and stuff. 

See, I like this. I like this a lot. Thor has to prove himself. He gives his life for all those people, he's willing to DIE to save them. He didn't have a sneaky plan or figure out that he had to do that to get the Hammer back, no, he was just willing to up and DIE to save people. And so, he gets the Hammer and his powers back. WOOT! *punches the air* This movie just got good!

Lol, I love how Thor demands Coulson return Jane's stolen equipment in exchange for Thor being allies with the government. YAY. That's a good man right there, Jane, he keeps his promises and remembers what's important to you. Keep him around. 

I love how at first it looks like Thor and Jane are gonna kiss, and then Thor kisses her hand. And then JANE kisses him. Like, songs him. *SQUEE* Loving this movie now.

Yay, Frigg taking up a sword and slicing a Jotun! Not that she gets an epic fight scene but still, she does that.

And then … what. What. What?! WHAT?!
Loki kills his father (his biological father, that is, not Odin) before he can kill Odin. So it looks like he saved Odin. And now he's going to start a war. On … his blood relatives. Then Thor comes in and confronts him about the robot in front of their mom. Loki tries to lie his way out and then blasts Thor out through a wall. For … some reason. 

Why. Why. Why. WHAT IS GOING ON?!??!?!?! SCREENPLAYS, MELON-FARMER, CAN YOU WRITE THEM?!?!?!? (Hint: the answer is no.)

Ah, so Loki is going to destroy all the Jotuns because … it'll prove to his dad he's King material. Even though he never wanted to be king. And he's a Jotun himself. Loki's got some serious self-hatred going on here. Isn't there a word for someone who's from two different cultures, or has parents of two different races, and tries to identify with just one and hate the other half? Something to do with colonialism, I think … 

Then Loki makes a rape threat. I think. Could just be a "I'll kill Jane" threat. But either way it's scary and makes Thor fight him. 

And I'm just confused as to what's going on with Loki. As a villain he doesn't make a whole lotta sense. (And secretly, I don't think he's actually that attractive either. Not the point, I know, but when I can't make sense of the character anymore I go to the looks department, and if that doesn't work out either … I just don't know.)

So Loki … just let himself fall into space. 

And the link to Midgard has been severed. That's really sad. The movie lets us know by giving us some nicely quiet scenes, music and little to no dialogue. 

And it isn't entirely resolved. Jane is looking for a way to get Thor back, with SCIENCE! I approve! 

And in the after credits scene we get Nick Fury. YAY! Utto, Loki's controlling Dr. Mentor Guy!

So … Thor was pretty hit or miss with me. Good actors mostly. Terrible script. Some very good scenes scattered around just enough to keep me watching, but poorly shot fight sequences and a villain who just didn't make any sense in the end. 

Something I did like was the setting on Midgard. New Mexico! Not NYC, a small town in New Mexico! The shots of the deserts were beautiful and delightfully underplayed. I liked that a lot. I wish more movies took place in non-mainstream movie locations like that. I know why they don't, for budget reasons and such, but it stood out to me as a positive thing. 

Next up … Iron Man 2, or Captain America, or possibly the Incredible Hulk. Considering they keep switching things up with the Hulk and even switched actors, maybe I can just skip that one?

Comments

[emeriin.livejournal.com]

I would probably enjoy Loki as a character if I hadn't read pages upon pages of tumblr tags acting all he needs is a hug and he's so tragic and he's so pretty and all the others are just so mean to him and! Christ, people, leave the leather pants literal, they're much hotter that way.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

To be honest, all that stuff was making me wary of watching the Avengers. People were getting so passionate and downright frightening about Loki, and I'm like "You know what, I don't want to deal with that shit right now." Bad enough that I get into arguments at the Doctor Who Club about Rose, Eleven, Season 6, and Nine. I didn't want to add another thing to the list of Topics to Avoid With Certain Friends.

I mean, Tom Hiddleston is pretty in that pale, dark haired smirking dude kind of way, but it's not like I was fainting over him in Thor. I was empathizing with him for his first couple of scenes, but then he made Thor cry for no good reason and I was like "ok, sympathy out the window, Space Snape, sorry, you had your chance and you just blew it." And that's weird for me, usually I don't go for the muscular punchy hot hero over the skinny smart sexy villain ... but he MADE THOR CRY. AND SAID HIS MOMMY DIDN'T WANT HIM HOME. What a dick.
Then I was just mad at his characterization and motivations being vague and poorly written, and I was focussing more on that than on his "zomg SO TRAGIC" ness.

Of course, this could all change once I get to the Avengers. Need to finish The Incredible Hulk, rewatch Iron Man, and watch Iron Man 2, before I get to that though. Gimme a couple days.

I'm just praying the writing is better in the Avengers. Whedon, don't fail me now ... please write Loki in a way that makes some gorram sense ... please ... please ... write me a good script ...