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aunt_zeldaYeah, I know, late to the party, but I've been busy, and wasn't sure when I'd have time to see a movie and what to see, and finally today I had time. It was either the Avengers or this, and I missed the time for the Avengers. I'll see that next week on another day off when I go into the city to run more errands.
So, Dark Shadows ...
(Let's not think about what it COULD have been. Because if we do, we'll just be crying everywhere.)
... I honestly don't know how to sort out my feelings about this movie. So I'll just ramble.
It was what I expected. I knew, after seeing the trailer, that it wasn't going to be a glorious harkening back to the original show and Tim Burton returning to his roots of awesomeness and Johnny Depp being fantastically creepy and cool. I knew it was going to be a guilty pleasure, a highly stylized guilty pleasure I was probably going to buy a ticket to and cringe a bit at and laugh a bit at and overall enjoy, but a guilty pleasure none the less.
But it's not quite as clear-cut as that. There's just ... GAH! *headdesk*
I facepalmed a lot during this movie. But it's not that any of the jokes were particularly offensively dumb or anything, or crude, or annoying. A lot just ... fell flat. Some of the best funny moments came from the old cleaner lady, I loved her. The movie should have featured her and the caretaker guy more, those two had great potential.
Another sequence that was honestly funny/interesting was Barnabus trying to figure out his sleeping arangement, hanging upside down, hugging the four-poster-bed, sleeping in a giant cardboard box, curled up a cabinet, before finally getting a coffin. I liked that. I liked that a lot. I enjoyed seeing Domestic!Vampire, because that wasn't ALL there was to his character, there was a lot more going on with him other than "lol, he doesn't know how the TV works/lol he's brushing his teeth" ... y'know?
The effects were very good. Especially at the end, with Angelique's face. I really enjoyed that! And the ghosts looks great. And Helena Bonham Carter's HAIR. I heard people in the audience muttering in shock at that when she came onscreen and they slowly realized who she was. LOL: good move, Burton/whoever did that!
But overall ... ok, bear with me for a moment, I'm gonna try a metaphor.
This movie is like if Cinderella spent all day scrubbing the floor, and it looked great and shiny and she felt accomplished, and she got all dressed up in some snazzy heels and an awesome dress and did her hair and makeup and looked damn fine and felt confident because she doesn't dress up that much, and you know what, she did a good job all by herself ... and she steps out to head out to the ball ... and slips on the floor she scrubbed so well and falls on her ass and knows that she broke one of her shoes and doesn't really feel like going to the ball tonight after all ... but she still looks great, and the whole situation doesn't undo the fact that the floor is so shiny you can see your face in it and she looks fantastic.
And I use the metaphor of a woman partly because this movie is chock-a-block full of distinct, different, interesting, if not complex but certainly defined and rounded female characters. I honestly can't think off the top of my head the last big-budget movie that had a cast containing five main female characters and three supporting female roles (the ghosts and the cleaner lady.) We have an ambitious mother, a ruthless and sexy antagonist who was at times way more relatable that the designated protagonist (more on that later), the rebellious teenage daughter who can put aside her brattiness when it matters (talking to Barnabus about romancing Vicky, turning into a random werewolf), and the drunken duplicitous relatable doctor/confidant who just wants to be young again and tragically runs afoul of Barnabus' questionable morality, and the Love Interest who has a very dark past indeed.
THAT is something to applaud, people, THAT is something to support. The movie may not be all that great, there are perhaps too many cleavage shots, but FIVE distinct main female characters? FIVE?! FUCKING FINALLY!!!
(WTF surprise Christopher Lee for like five seconds?!)
So, Barnabus and Angie and morality.
This is both the best part of the movie and the worst part. My sympathy was with Angie for the most part, the spurned lover of the aloof guy who ultimately wouldn't give her the time of day. The woman making her way in a man's world for two centuries, carving out an empire in business. The woman taking petty, clever, cruel, pointless, and sometimes sexy revenge on Barnabus and his family. Why wasn't the movie about HER entirely?! Because it fucking should have been.
Because Barnabus ... well, Barnabus was quite enjoyable, I'm not going to lie. I could rant about how his talking and confusion about modern things like cars and lava lamps and TVs only comes up when it's funny and not when it would make sense. But I won't.
His morality is much more interesting.
There are no two ways around it. Barnabus is a murderer. He kills about a dozen people onscreen, a vast majority of them ordinary people just doing their job (the construction workers) or chillin' with a cool dude who is suddenly ripping their throats out (the hippies.) He shows very little remorse for this. And regardless of how prettily he apologizes before/during/after killing innocent people, Barnabus never once tries eating an animal, or draining a person only a little bit, or making use of his fishing industry by grabbing a live fish and chowing down.
Barnabus is sexist and occasionally a misogynist. He murders Dr. Hoffman, a woman, after she steals some of his blood and begs for her life, but lets Rodger live after catching him red-handed trying to steal treasure from the family. Barnabus, with such an emphasis on family, lets a man who would rather leave the mansion and his young son than stay and try to be a good dad ... live. THE FUCK?!
The music was good. (Oh hai Alice Cooper!) I enjoyed how they embraced the time and setting. It's always nice to see Maine, or at least, them trying to show Maine, my home state. Fairly sure we don't have that many impressive cliffs, although our beaches are quite rocky and I wouldn't be surprise if we DID have a cliff or two like that along the coast ... it's just usually not that impressive is all I'm sayin' ... the harbor stuff and the town looked pretty authentic, though. As a period piece it gets a passing grade, in my opinion.
Something I did like was how they made vampires look distinctly different. Creepily pale, weird eyes, nasty long fingernails ... it's not Nosferatu but it's certainly a transformation that I appreciate after all these sexy "just add fangs and some angst" vampires.
As for characters other than the women and Barnabus ... I liked David? David was very well done, good actor, no complaints from me there ...
... so yeah. Dark Shadows. Don't regret seeing it. Just can't quite sort out my feelings about it. It wasn't good, but it wasn't exactly bad either. Just ... the Cinderella-falling-on-the-floor metaphor.
Thoughts?
So, Dark Shadows ...
(Let's not think about what it COULD have been. Because if we do, we'll just be crying everywhere.)
... I honestly don't know how to sort out my feelings about this movie. So I'll just ramble.
It was what I expected. I knew, after seeing the trailer, that it wasn't going to be a glorious harkening back to the original show and Tim Burton returning to his roots of awesomeness and Johnny Depp being fantastically creepy and cool. I knew it was going to be a guilty pleasure, a highly stylized guilty pleasure I was probably going to buy a ticket to and cringe a bit at and laugh a bit at and overall enjoy, but a guilty pleasure none the less.
But it's not quite as clear-cut as that. There's just ... GAH! *headdesk*
I facepalmed a lot during this movie. But it's not that any of the jokes were particularly offensively dumb or anything, or crude, or annoying. A lot just ... fell flat. Some of the best funny moments came from the old cleaner lady, I loved her. The movie should have featured her and the caretaker guy more, those two had great potential.
Another sequence that was honestly funny/interesting was Barnabus trying to figure out his sleeping arangement, hanging upside down, hugging the four-poster-bed, sleeping in a giant cardboard box, curled up a cabinet, before finally getting a coffin. I liked that. I liked that a lot. I enjoyed seeing Domestic!Vampire, because that wasn't ALL there was to his character, there was a lot more going on with him other than "lol, he doesn't know how the TV works/lol he's brushing his teeth" ... y'know?
The effects were very good. Especially at the end, with Angelique's face. I really enjoyed that! And the ghosts looks great. And Helena Bonham Carter's HAIR. I heard people in the audience muttering in shock at that when she came onscreen and they slowly realized who she was. LOL: good move, Burton/whoever did that!
But overall ... ok, bear with me for a moment, I'm gonna try a metaphor.
This movie is like if Cinderella spent all day scrubbing the floor, and it looked great and shiny and she felt accomplished, and she got all dressed up in some snazzy heels and an awesome dress and did her hair and makeup and looked damn fine and felt confident because she doesn't dress up that much, and you know what, she did a good job all by herself ... and she steps out to head out to the ball ... and slips on the floor she scrubbed so well and falls on her ass and knows that she broke one of her shoes and doesn't really feel like going to the ball tonight after all ... but she still looks great, and the whole situation doesn't undo the fact that the floor is so shiny you can see your face in it and she looks fantastic.
And I use the metaphor of a woman partly because this movie is chock-a-block full of distinct, different, interesting, if not complex but certainly defined and rounded female characters. I honestly can't think off the top of my head the last big-budget movie that had a cast containing five main female characters and three supporting female roles (the ghosts and the cleaner lady.) We have an ambitious mother, a ruthless and sexy antagonist who was at times way more relatable that the designated protagonist (more on that later), the rebellious teenage daughter who can put aside her brattiness when it matters (talking to Barnabus about romancing Vicky, turning into a random werewolf), and the drunken duplicitous relatable doctor/confidant who just wants to be young again and tragically runs afoul of Barnabus' questionable morality, and the Love Interest who has a very dark past indeed.
THAT is something to applaud, people, THAT is something to support. The movie may not be all that great, there are perhaps too many cleavage shots, but FIVE distinct main female characters? FIVE?! FUCKING FINALLY!!!
(WTF surprise Christopher Lee for like five seconds?!)
So, Barnabus and Angie and morality.
This is both the best part of the movie and the worst part. My sympathy was with Angie for the most part, the spurned lover of the aloof guy who ultimately wouldn't give her the time of day. The woman making her way in a man's world for two centuries, carving out an empire in business. The woman taking petty, clever, cruel, pointless, and sometimes sexy revenge on Barnabus and his family. Why wasn't the movie about HER entirely?! Because it fucking should have been.
Because Barnabus ... well, Barnabus was quite enjoyable, I'm not going to lie. I could rant about how his talking and confusion about modern things like cars and lava lamps and TVs only comes up when it's funny and not when it would make sense. But I won't.
His morality is much more interesting.
There are no two ways around it. Barnabus is a murderer. He kills about a dozen people onscreen, a vast majority of them ordinary people just doing their job (the construction workers) or chillin' with a cool dude who is suddenly ripping their throats out (the hippies.) He shows very little remorse for this. And regardless of how prettily he apologizes before/during/after killing innocent people, Barnabus never once tries eating an animal, or draining a person only a little bit, or making use of his fishing industry by grabbing a live fish and chowing down.
Barnabus is sexist and occasionally a misogynist. He murders Dr. Hoffman, a woman, after she steals some of his blood and begs for her life, but lets Rodger live after catching him red-handed trying to steal treasure from the family. Barnabus, with such an emphasis on family, lets a man who would rather leave the mansion and his young son than stay and try to be a good dad ... live. THE FUCK?!
The music was good. (Oh hai Alice Cooper!) I enjoyed how they embraced the time and setting. It's always nice to see Maine, or at least, them trying to show Maine, my home state. Fairly sure we don't have that many impressive cliffs, although our beaches are quite rocky and I wouldn't be surprise if we DID have a cliff or two like that along the coast ... it's just usually not that impressive is all I'm sayin' ... the harbor stuff and the town looked pretty authentic, though. As a period piece it gets a passing grade, in my opinion.
Something I did like was how they made vampires look distinctly different. Creepily pale, weird eyes, nasty long fingernails ... it's not Nosferatu but it's certainly a transformation that I appreciate after all these sexy "just add fangs and some angst" vampires.
As for characters other than the women and Barnabus ... I liked David? David was very well done, good actor, no complaints from me there ...
... so yeah. Dark Shadows. Don't regret seeing it. Just can't quite sort out my feelings about it. It wasn't good, but it wasn't exactly bad either. Just ... the Cinderella-falling-on-the-floor metaphor.
Thoughts?
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no subject
Date: 2012-06-02 05:23 am (UTC)For something like that, I have heard "House of Dark Shadows" is a better fit.
Anyway, I would definitely save my spending money and time on something like Snow White and the Huntsman or renting "The Woman in Black" which I heard is a beautifully made horror movie.
no subject
Date: 2012-06-02 09:01 pm (UTC)Snow White and the Huntsman is also good, I saw it yestarday, I liked it.
I'll probably see Dark Shadows just for shits and giggles.
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Date: 2012-06-08 08:36 pm (UTC)And if you still haven't seen the Avengers yet, I would highly HIGHLY recommend it. It was absolutely AMAZING. The characterization, the action, the story, music, EVERYTHING. I absolutely LOVED how they managed to give ALL the characters their own time to shine, both alone and interacting with the other characters. The characters/story mixed perfectly with the action. I LOVED this movie. (...I've seen it four times in theaters lol, and I've only seen a movie one other time just as much and that was The Dark Knight.)
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Date: 2012-06-12 07:03 am (UTC)I cannot believe I am actually saying this, but Zeldie, you need to take a step WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back with the feminism. You're starting to sound like allecto. Seriously, you're discarding the entire text just so that you can rant about a movie you clearly went in with the expectation of hating.
Firstly, Barnabas didn't kill Roger because family means so much to him. Barnabas has to kill, he is a vampire, the film's internal logic turns on this fulcrum. Because of this, killing strangers means nothing to him, but killing family would be unthinkable! Letting Roger leave allows the possibility for redemption one day, and as he sees it, the kid has already lost one parent, and doesn't need to lose another in as permanent a way as death. Beyond that, Dr. Hoffman isn't a member of the family, and Barnabus makes it clear from the outset that he doesn't entirely approve of her.
Secondly - seriously? You want the villain to be the hero because she's a self-made woman and you relate to her more? Zeldie, at the risk of hitting below the belt, I think that reflects more on your own recent travails in love than it does the movie. I personally found Angie creepy as fuck, and related way more with Barnabas, as somebody who has had somebody creep around her and just not get the hint that she's not interested. Beyond that, building up an empire purely to tear down a family of innocent people who are completely unrelated to you is not an admirable trait and is frankly nasty, petty and disgusting. I don't want a movie about someone like her.
I'm sorry if this is coming across as really snappish, but it's been a really long, cold, stressful day.
I agree with you on a lot of things - the movie was not a fantastic movie. You could tell it was based off of a TV series simply by it's structure. "HEY! LET'S HAVE A BALL! BECAUSE...YOU KNOW...BALLS!" The costuming was amazing, the female leads were great and some of the gags were fantastic, if a bit wearing by the end. I did think Angie's death was heartbreaking, pun unintended.
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Date: 2012-06-12 04:19 pm (UTC)... no, I had the opportunity to see the Avengers or this, and I chose this so I could run some errands because Dark Shadows was showing an hour later than the Avengers. I thought it was gonna be more "guilty pleasure" than "good movie" but that's what I was in the mood for. And I'd heard the reviews were less than stellar, so I knew it was probably going to be something kinda silly with good visual and some interesting ideas that ultimately wouldn't be explored as much as they could have been. And that's what I got. And I enjoyed it. I was just confused because beyond "I don't regret seeing that movie, that was a good end to a productive day in the city" I couldn't sort out my feelings about it. Hence the rambling on my journal. And I did post this right after I got home, without much reflection.
Firstly, Barnabas didn't kill Roger because family means so much to him. Barnabas has to kill, he is a vampire, the film's internal logic turns on this fulcrum. Because of this, killing strangers means nothing to him, but killing family would be unthinkable! Letting Roger leave allows the possibility for redemption one day, and as he sees it, the kid has already lost one parent, and doesn't need to lose another in as permanent a way as death.
Eh ... I guess? That's what the movie seemed to be going for, but this guy was caught red-handed trying to steal from the family. I feel like Barnabus should have been more betrayed by that. He's doing all he can to rebuild the family, and one of them is going behind his back and trying to steal and be self-serving instead of serving the family. And being a terrible father.
Beyond that, Dr. Hoffman isn't a member of the family, and Barnabus makes it clear from the outset that he doesn't entirely approve of her.
I admit that my assessment of the Dr. Hoffman thing was a bit harsh. But it still bugs me. She stole his blood and lied, very serious betrayals of trust. But then she apologizes profusely and begs for her life. This is a point where Barnabus isn't already frenzied with hunger (like the construction workers) or planning on eating people (the hippies), this is a calculated kill. He choses to kill her. Not the guy who stole people's wallets at the ball or tried to steal the family's treasure or used his son to stand watch during his sex time ... the woman who's been set up in the movie as a comic character, a family friend, the woman trying to help the kid who lost his mother at sea ... and yes she's mooching off the family but they could easily kick her out and they haven't and Elizabeth seemed to enjoy her company. I was not expecting the movie to just murder her. Usually if your protagonist kills in movies it's people we aren't supposed to find sympathetic, or if they do we're supposed to see it as a horrifying moment that the movie will reflect on. But this movie ... didn't. They dump her body in the ocean. They reference her again later when Barnabus mentions his other victims. She's in the final shot as sequel bait. But ... I don't know, he kills one of the main characters and I don't think the movie handled that as well as it could have. Not misogyny exactly, but it made me uncomfortable.
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Date: 2012-06-12 04:20 pm (UTC)No, I wanted her to be the villain protagonist. Not the hero. I think at first she could have been a sympathetic character when she was in love with Barnabus and he was having all kinds of sex with her on the piano, then driven into villainy when she gets jealous of Barnabus' new love and then SNAPS and kills her with magic, and curses Barnabus, and turns the town against him. That was her Start of Darkness. We could have watched her going through the years setting up an empire, pretending to die again and again and pretending to be a new relative. And then Barnabus comes back and she grapples with wanting to kill him and wanting to fuck him.
I think she would have been more interesting, less "the movie wants me to like this character but he keeps murdering people oooooh he's so quirky" and more "Angie, you let love twist you into a monster and that is so not cool, just realize he's never gonna love you and move the fuck on."
I think a lot of people can relate to having a crush on someone who doesn't reciprocate. THAT'S what I meant when I said I related to her. At certain points. For the most part I was like "whoa, cleavage" and "auuuugh, crazy stalker ex-girlfriend!" But I could understand where she was coming from, originally, and why she was doing all the stuff she was doing. Not stuff I'd ever do, not stuff I approved of, but at least I could understand her motivation throughout the movie.
I guess what I was feeling about Angie was the urge to take her aside in the early days and say "ok, Angie, have a good cry, get away from this town for a while, get yourself a project to focus on like building a business empire or something, and eventually you'll get a crush on someone new, who'll reciprocate your feelings. Forget about that asshole who dumped you and hooked up with a blonde. Make this into a learning experience, realize this is gonna be a part of who you are, and move on."
I personally found Angie creepy as fuck, and related way more with Barnabas, as somebody who has had somebody creep around her and just not get the hint that she's not interested.
I found her creepy too, especially that underwear bit (*shudders* eeeeew).
Beyond that, building up an empire purely to tear down a family of innocent people who are completely unrelated to you is not an admirable trait and is frankly nasty, petty and disgusting. I don't want a movie about someone like her.
I do. I want to see a movie about her nasty, petty, disgustingness consuming her and making her into a ruthless businesswoman who just wants to wipe every reminder of the guy who dumped her off the map. It'd be really scary to watch but I wouldn't be able to look away.
I'm sorry if this is coming across as really snappish, but it's been a really long, cold, stressful day.
You are coming off a little snappish, but I clearly accidentally dredged up personal stuff when I ranted about this, and long cold stressful days are awful, so don't worry about it.
the movie was not a fantastic movie.
I know … I but it also wasn't a BAD movie either! I'm still so confused about how I feel about this movie … I think I need to own it on DVD and watch it some more to cement my feelings.
The costuming was amazing, the female leads were great and some of the gags were fantastic, if a bit wearing by the end. I did think Angie's death was heartbreaking, pun unintended.
I agree with all of that. As a period piece it excelled. All the female leads were fantastic to see in a "summer blockbuster" type movie for once. And I loved the visuals. It's just that something was ... lacking.
no subject
Date: 2012-06-14 12:15 am (UTC)I think if you'd said 'protagonist' rather than 'hero' I might not have snapped so much, but as it was I misinterpreted it.
I don't quite know what you mean by Angie being so relatable, though. I mean, Barnabus never promised anything he didn't mean. Their relationship is the equivalent of a Friends With Benefit relationship where this conversation happens:
FWB1: You love me right?!
FWB2: Uhhhhh...what?
And then FWB1 suddenly becomes a Yandere out of the blue. It's not as if Barnabus ever pretended to love her, or completely ignored her and dismissed her. He told her straight up: "I don't love you. I can never love you. I'm very sorry." He was kind.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 02:29 am (UTC)