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aunt_zeldaSherlock calls Mycroft. Mycroft is snarky that his own brother is calling him on Christmas. I think this says more about Sherlock than it does about Mycroft. Ouch. (Sherlock is an asshole …) Sherlock tells Mycroft that they’re gonna find Irene Adler tonight … dead. Yipes. John asks if Sherlock is ok and Sherlock snaps “yes” and shuts the door. Don’t shut out your only friend, Sherlock! Gah, why is everyone ignoring the danger signs here?!
Sherlock and Mycroft enter the morgue at St. Bart’s, like a pair of vampires, and find Molly in the morgue with the body. Molly is wearing a Christmas sweater and slacks under her labcoat and looks dreadfully vulnerable and cuddly at the same time. Sherlock is nice enough to say that she didn’t need to come in, and Molly says that it’s alright, “everyone else is busy with … Christmas …” and my heart breaks some more. So not only is she recovering from having an evil psychopathic pathological liar of a boyfriend who planted bombs all over the city and took advantage of her and used her, AND she’s in love with an asshole who won’t give her the time of day and just inadvertently ridiculed her in front of several close friends/acquaintances … she has nowhere to go and no one to spend Christmas with. BBC SHERLOCK: MOLLY HOOPER AND THE INFINATE SADNESS.
(Somebody needs to write a Dresden Files crossover where she and Butters meet and fall in geeky love together … why are you all looking at me?)
So, the body’s face is all bashed up, but when Sherlock sees the rest of her he says “it’s her” and swoops out with his coat. Mycroft thanks Molly and she asks who the dead lady is and “how did Sherlock recognize her from … not her face?” (The way she says the line makes me squee “ILU Molly.”) Mycroft smiles oddly and leaves. Molly is left alone, with the dead body. Somebody get this girl a friend!
Mycroft gives Sherlock a single cigarette, supposedly for Christmas. Sherlock smoking should not be hot, but it is. Damn you, Doug Walker, I blame YOU!
Sherlock says that he knew Irene was dead because she sent him an “item” that she wouldn’t have given up if she was planning to live. The brothers look down the hall at a sobbing family on the other side of some doors, clearly having been told that someone they loved is dead. On Christmas. Oh gods … wasn’t this episode supposed to be sexy and fun? Where is the fun? THERE IS ONLY PAIN! *cries*
Sherlock says “Look at them … they all care so much … do you ever wonder if there’s something wrong with us?” I should note that they’re framed as if through a tiny square window in the door, mostly dark all around them.
Mycroft says “caring is not an advantage … Sherlock.” Ok, Mycroft is an asshole. Someone start a tally.
Sherlock leaves, still smoking sexily. (Arrrrrrrgh!) Mycroft calls John, and they confer about tonight being “a danger night” and John and Mrs. Hudson checking the apartment for any drugs. That is so sweet and sad and heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. Mycroft says “You’ve got to stay with him John” and when John stutters “I’ve got plans” Mycroft kinda growls “Nooo …” *shivers* I don’t know if that’s a fun-shiver or a scared-shiver. Probably a bit of both.
John sits on the sofa with his latest girlfriend. She says that her friends are wrong about him, “You’re a great boyfriend!” she chirps forcefully, and when John is shocked and pleased she says “and Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man!” Ooooooooo. When he asks what he can do she says “Don’t make me compete with Sherlock Holmes!” and when he offers to walk her dog she says “I don’t have a dog!” and he remembers “… that was the last one” and she storms out and tells him not to call. Oooooooooo … that was painful. (Anyone else notice that she was taller than John and wore a coat slightly similar to Sherlock’s?) Mrs. Hudson sympathetically says “that wasn’t very good, was it?” ILU Mrs. Hudson.
John stays up with a glass of wine and a book he’s not very into until Sherlock walks in. He looks vaguely shell-shocked. He says “I hope you didn’t mess up my sock index this time” like it’s perfectly ok his flatmate and landlady basically have put him on suicide watch and have done so before. (I hurt in my soul right now.)
A little after Christmas Sherlock plays the violin mournfully as Mrs. Hudson and John circle around him and take away uneaten plates of food. Apparently Sherlock is “composing” because it “helps [him] to think.” Sherlock, you’re always thinking, you’re composing because you’re being emo. Admit it, otherwise you’re a couple of weeks from going to Hot Topic, or the British equivalent if they haven’t got a Hot Topic over there, and straightening your bangs over your eyes and putting a pink streak in your hair and wearing skinny jeans and bracelets.
He gets momentarily excited that Irene might be sending a message about the password to the phone via John’s frozen blog counter, but it doesn’t work. Auuuuuuw.
John goes over the Mrs. Hudson and asks in an undertone if Sherlock’s ever had “any kind of uh, girlfriend, boyfriend … a relationship, ever?” and she says she doesn’t know.
John goes out. Anthea is waiting for him in a sexy black poncho type thing. John is very clearly very attracted to her. Apparently it’s New Year’s Eve. A mysterious black car drives up and John says “You know, Mycroft could just phone me if he didn’t have this bloody stupid power-complex.” Lol, John, that would be so pedestrian to call! Kidnapping people is much more fun!
The car drives to a cool abandoned building thing. John follows Anthea up and around and she points him through a door. Anthea calls someone and says “you were right, he thinks it’s Mycroft.” For a moment I got very scared, thinking it was Moriarty.
But it’s not. It’s Irene! YAAAAAAAAAY! SQUEEEEEEEEEE! (The fact that Anthea was working for/with Irene is never brought up again. You’d think that Mycroft would be concerned about that. And Anthea would be, y’know, dead because of it.)
Once John takes it in that Irene is alive, his first words to her are “tell him you’re alive.” When she says “he’ll come after me” he says that HE’LL come after her if she doesn’t tell. Yes! Good going, John!
Irene has the gall to ask John to help her get the phone back from Sherlock. He demands that she tell Sherlock she’s alive, and when she refuses he promises that he will tell Sherlock, and at this point his voice is rough with restrained rage. God, I love this scene. John is really mad at her for text messing with Sherlock, and when she tries to say she’s only been texting him “the usual stuff” he says that there IS no “usual stuff in this case.” Ouch. Irene reads out some of the texts, one of which is like “sex and dinner … I’m not hungry … let’s have dinner” or something. Very flirty. No wonder Sherlock was so shaken, he just doesn’t know what to do with this kind of behavior.
Irene: Are you jealous?
John: … we’re not a couple.
Irene: Yes you are.
ILU Irene! (John you so ARE a couple. Maybe you’re platonic now, but it’s only a matter of time. This is British TV after all.) Irene sends a text to Sherlock to prove she’s not dead anymore. John gets fed up and says that if there’s anyone out there who still cares about his opinion on the subject “I’m not gay.” LOL. John, just come out of the closet, you’re bi at the very least.
Then Irene says something controversial. “Well I AM. Look at us both.” (If you want to see my thoughts on Irene saying she’s gay, go to the very end of this recap.)
Then they hear the phone orgasm. Sherlock was behind the wall. He leaves, John goes to follow, and Irene motions for him to stop. “I don’t think so … do you?” she asks. *wibbles*
Sherlock wanders back home in a kind of epic tragic dramatic haze … and then he comes out of it when he sees that the front door has been forced. (The first time I saw this, my blood ran cold.) He goes inside and it’s very unsettling and slow and eerie and he sees signs of a struggle with Mrs. Hudson. The music amps up and he gets flashes of what must have happened, her clawing at the wall and being dragged up stairs and I start to feel sick to my stomach. (Somewhere in there, the first time I saw this, I clearly stated “If she’s dead, I will kill you, Steven Moffat.” It was scary.) Sherlock gets this frightening look in his eyes, and he doesn’t exactly snarl, but he does bare his teeth kinda like a dog. RUN AWAY! *hides under the bed*
Thankfully for Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss, and the American Goons, Mrs. Hudson is not dead. Unfortunately, Mrs. Hudson is almost hysterical, has a gun pointed at her head, there are bruises forming on her wrist, her shirt is torn, and there’s a bleeding cut on her face and blood on the ring of the Lead Goon. Sherlock sees all of this, and immediately starts scanning all the points on Lead Goon’s body that are perfect for KILLING HIM. (And I start to grin an evil grin.)
Sherlock gets the other Goons out of the room and driving away. Then he gets the Lead Goon to move away from Mrs. Hudson to check him for weapons. Sherlock then sprays the guy in the face with … something … I dunno if it’s mace or pepper spray or what, but it knocks the guy flat. “Moron,” Sherlock says while I squee helplessly on the sofa. Sherlock checks on Mrs. Hudson and holds her hands, then looks over his shoulder at Lead Goon, and his face is PURE MURDER. (And I know it’s so, so wrong, but I find that look incredibly hot on him. The fact that he’s doing this because Lead Goon hurt someone he loved and he’s going all Papa Wolf on him is just a part of it. … I’d be into this even if there wasn’t a really good reason.)
John returns to Baker Street and finds a note on the door that reads “crime in progress, please disturb.” Hee hee!
John asks what the hell is going on when he sees the Lead Goon tied up in the flat, mouth duct taped. Sherlock is lounging in a chair and staring at
John immediately goes to Mrs. Hudson’s side and goes all comforting-doctor-son on her. Awwwwww. Sherlock tells John to take her downstairs. Mrs. Hudson goes and John hesitates, asking again what’s happening, and Sherlock is now on his feet and on the phone, pointing the Lead Goon’s gun at Lead Goon’s face. John goes to take care of Mrs. Hudson. Sherlock calls up Lestrade and says he’s reporting a break-in, and to send an ambulance because the “burglar” has been very badly injured indeed, oh, cracked ribs, fractured skull, “suspected punctured lung” (Sherlock says this with a really wicked glint in his eye that I could just eat up with a spoon) and Sherlock says “He fell out a window …” as he eyes the nervous Lead Goon.
John is patching Mrs. Hudson up in front of her window on the ground floor. They hear a big crash. Mrs. Hudson says “Auuuuw … that was right on my bins!” We hear Lead Goon groan in pain. Heh heh heh … serves you right for hurting Mrs. Hudson, you EVIL EVIL MAN!!!
As the ambulance drives away, Lestrade asks Sherlock how many times it was that the guy fell out the window. Sherlock says “it’s all a bit of a blur” and admits that he “lost count.” This is Sherlock, we’re talking about here, he didn’t lose count. Or maybe he lost count because the times he wanted to throw the guy out the window were interrupted by the pesky police and ambulance arriving, so he’s not sure if it was 5 or 25 anymore, y’know? Also: SQUEEEEEEEEEE I IS A HAPPY DARK!FANGIRL!!!
Turns out Mrs. Hudson was faking being so hysterical, she had the phone hidden down her bra the whole time. Which … is awesome, but I’m a little mad because not only did she freak poor John out she was freaking me out. It was painful to watch, her sobbing and in shock.
Sherlock says “Mrs. Hudson, leave Baker Street? England would fall!” (Great, Moriarty heard that, now he’s gonna kidnap her!) Sherlock sort of huggles Mrs. Hudson. Awwwwwww.
John tries to have a Guy Talk with Sherlock about Irene. “So, she’s alive then … how are we feeling about that?” The bell rings outside, and Sherlock says “Happy New Year, John.” No, you’re supposed to say “Rabbit!” when the New Year happens! John asks Sherlock if he thinks he’ll be seeing Irene again, and Sherlock’s response is to play that New Year’s song on his violin. John sits down by the fire and Sherlock plays some more. Awwwwwww! I love those two!
Sherlock texts Irene “Happy New Year” and she smiles. Awwwww! I love those two!
Sherlock x-rays the Phone from Irene, and sees weird little dark spots in them. Molly asks if it’s “his girlfriend’s phone” and he’s a little surprised that she assumes it’s his girlfriend’s phone “because I’m x-raying her possessions” and she sort of giggles “Well, we all do silly things” and I wonder what she’s done that’s “silly.” Does she have a Sherlock shrine? I really hope she doesn’t. Anyways, note that Sherlock does not deny that Irene is his girlfriend. Heh heh heh! Sherlock is inspired to try his address as the password, saying “She loves to play games!” and Molly tentatively asks “… she does?” and I want to huggle Molly forever. Sherlock is sad that the password doesn’t work.
Wow, we’re really moving right along with this episode in a year! We went from sometime in the fall to Christmas to New Year’s to sometime in the spring or maybe the early summer … this is interesting, not many shows do that, make an episode span a year convincingly.
Sherlock arrives home and sniffs, noticing something different and seeing a window unlocked. Then he goes into his bedroom and says “John? We have a client.” John is dubious “What, in your bedroom?” and then comes to look and is all “oooooh.” Irene is asleep in Sherlock’s bed. Did I mention that I love her? Because I do. She looks very, very nice with her hair down, btw.
Irene says that vague “killers” are after her, and now they’ll be after Sherlock if they know he’s got the phone. Sherlock says he took out a safety deposit box. John suggests a plan involving Molly, the homeless network, and the people who work downstairs in the café to get the phone back secretly. Sherlock congratulates him on a clever plan full of safety precautions and then pulls the phone out of his pocket. The exasperated noise John makes at this is very funny.
Sherlock asks what’s on the phone. Basically it’s all kinds of information Irene says she got by “misbehaving” and she plans to use it for “protection” (not blackmail) so she can have people on her side when she wants them on her side. She’s wearing Sherlock’s blue robe. Yum.
She and Sherlock have a stare-down about whether she’s gonna give him the password or not, she wins and types it in without him seeing. Turns out the phone he gave her is a duplicate and he knows what password she just typed in. He tries that password on the real Phone, but that doesn’t work. She knew he gave her a fake! He murmurs “Oh, you’re rather good …” *fans self* and she smiles “You’re not so bad” and John looks a little perplexed/miffed off to the side because they’re having mindsex and he’s not getting any. He blurts out “Hamish!” and explains that his middle name is Hamish if they’re looking for “baby names” and Sherlock looks a little horrified and Irene is amused. Eeehehehehehehee, I enjoyed that moment way too much! (Also, John, what makes you think you’re out of the equation for making kids around here? It’s called OT3 for a reason, dude.)
So, Irene got a code from some important official, she had one of the “best cryptographers in the country take a look at it” and he was “mostly upside down at the time” and he couldn’t figure it out. John looks intrigued by this “mostly upside down” idea, just sayin’ … *wicked grin*
Then something wicked cool happens. She leans in close to Sherlock and says “impress a girl” and time slows down while he analyzes the code and then figures it out and time snaps back into real-time when she kisses his cheek faintly and he spits out the information REALLY FAST oh my god does that man need to breathe at all? It’s a flight leaving London this week for America. He explains the information more, and both John and Irene are impressed. Sherlock tells Irene not to say “oh that was so clever, I’m so impressed” or whatever because John’s said it all before in every variation possible. Irene says “I would have you right here, on this desk, until you begged for mercy twice.”
…
*head explodes*
…
Ahem!
Without looking away from Irene (they are so far beyond “mentally undressing” each other at this point I feel like a voyeur) Sherlock asks John to check the flight schedules. John coughs and shakes himself and does so. Sherlock tells Irene “I’ve never begged for mercy in my life.” And she repeats “Twice.” *faints for hours*
John confirms Sherlock’s process, and then says “double-oh-seven” which sparks a memory in Sherlock’s mind. Irene texts the flight number and the date … to Moriarty! (Moriarty is wearing an unfortunate little mustache and swank sunglasses.) Sherlock remembers hearing Mycroft say “Bond Air is go” all those months ago. Moriarty texts “Jumbo jet? Dear me Mr. Holmes, dear me” and the words fly up into the sky … and Moriarty blows a raspberry at them. LOL. I love that guy.
Mycroft gets the text and breaks down. We see him shatter and start drinking and just look utterly broken. His house looks so lonely.
Sherlock twangs his violin in front of the fire while Irene sits across from him. He asks where John is and she says he left hours ago. “NO, I was just talking to him …” Sherlock says, and Irene says that John told her Sherlock does that. Sherlock, play your sad song for her, chicks dig musicians, man! John should have told you that!
Sherlock talks about this place called Coventry that was going to get bombed in WWII, but the English government let it happen anyway because of some code that got broken and they didn’t want the Germans to know they’d broken the code. Irene asks “Have you ever had anyone?” Sherlock blinks, brain getting de-railed, and says “Sorry …” Irene says she’s being “indelicate” and he says he doesn’t understand. Irene slides sexily off the couch and says “I’ll be delicate then.” She kneels down in front of him and takes his hand. Seeing as Sherlock doesn’t have much physical intimate contact with people unless they’re trying to beat him up, kill him, arrest him, drag him into bed after he’s been drugged, or are Mrs. Hudson, her doing this is a BIG DEAL. She says “let’s have dinner” and he says he’s not hungry and she says “good” flirtatiously and he asks “Why would I … want to have … dinner if I wasn’t hungry?” voice getting heavy and confused and almost sultry as he starts to figure out what’s going on but he’s still so out of his depth it’s more confusion than seduction and oh good lord I’m gonna faint again.
Unfortunately Mrs. Hudson and the Posh Guy who took Sherlock away at the beginning of this episode come up the stairs. Mrs. Hudson says “Is the bell still not working?” and says in an aside to the Posh Guy “He shot it.” LOL. Posh Guy gives Sherlock a ticket to the doomed flight. Ah!
Sherlock gets into a cab. Cool music plays. Irene watches him go.
Sherlock tells the driver and Posh Guy the solution: a bomb is going to be planted on a jet, but the Americans and the British don’t want to tell where they got their information from so they’re gonna let it blow up. Just like the WWII Coventry thing. “The wheel turns, nothing is ever new” Sherlock says. Yipes.
At the plane, Sherlock runs into Lead Goon guy. He snarks “How are you feeling?” and Lead Goon has the cojones to say “like putting a bullet in your brain … sir” and adds “they’d pin a medal on me if I did … sir.” Oh, I’ll pin a medal on you, you bastard, right between your fucking eyes! *grabs wooden stake*
The plane is full of dead people. CREEEEEEEEPY! It was worse on Fringe but this is pretty bad!
Mycroft comes out and says “the Coventry Conundrum. What do you think of my solution?” *shivers in a scared way* Mycroft says the clues were all there “or were you too bored to notice?” and Sherlock flashes back to the little girls he traumatized and the client who said that the ashes of his aunt weren’t really human ash. Dun dun daaaaaaa! Mycroft said they did something similar with the Germans, but one of the “passengers” didn’t get on the plane, hence the guy stuffed into the trunk/boot of the car a while back. Dun dun daaaaaa! Mycroft makes a bad pun about death that would make me laugh if I wasn’t so scared of him. Mycroft says the plane isn’t going to take off anymore, because the terrorist cell has been informed about the plot and the whole plan, “months and years” in the making is now ruined. Oh dear. Mycroft says “that’s all it takes: one lonely naive man desperate to show off, and a woman clever enough to make him feel special.” Sherlock says Mycroft should scan his Defense employees more carefully, and Mycroft gets very intense, not exactly snarling yet but very angry, and snaps “I’m not talking about the MOD man, Sherlock, I’m talking about YOU!” and he bangs his umbrella on the floor for emphasis, and he’s really the only man who could make that action scary. He tells Sherlock that the whole “damsel in distress” thing Irene pulled was “textbook” as was the whole “promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption … then give him a puzzle and watch him dance” and he swirls the umbrella in the air on “dance” and it doesn’t ruin the mood at all. Sherlock says that’s “absurd” and Mycroft asks how quickly he figured out the code to “impress her.” Irene shows up and says it was barely five seconds. Mycroft says “I drove you into her path … I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Like HELL you didn’t know, you ASSHOLE, you teased him at the very beginning of this case about how he’s never had sex! You threw your socially-awkward baby brother who up until this point many people considered asexual and has likely never had any sex, sexual or romantic relationships until now and you threw him at THE WOMAN. YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!
Irene brushes Sherlock off as “not now, junior, you’re done now” and heads straight for Mycroft. OOooooooooo … that HURT!
Then Irene proves what a Magnificent Bitch she is by taunting Mycroft that she’s got all these secrets that could “topple [his] whole world” and he’d better be nice to her, unless he wants his bosses to find out that his “biggest security leak is [his] own little brother.” (The first time I saw this, I didn’t realize the magnitude of what she was saying, but some reading online and a second-watch made it clear to me. Basically Irene is threatening not just Mycrof’s plans, schemes, and career, she’s potentially threatening Sherlock’s life because he’d be arrested for treason. And I’m guessing in this shadowy secret-government black-opps world they operate in, the fact that Britain no long has the death penalty doesn’t apply to their kind. WOW. So Mycroft DOES care and of course it’s gonna make him even bitterer than before about caring and relationships.)
Now the three of them are at Mycroft’s house (I think it’s his house, could be his swank office.) Sherlock sulks by the fire while Irene and Mycroft talk about the phone. Mycroft says they have “people” who could hack into the phone. She says she “tested that theory” by letting Sherlock have it for “six months” and he found those dark spots when he x-rayed it, which will cause the case to explode if it’s opened from the outside forcibly. Mycroft says he “regrets” to inform her that he has “people” who could “extract” the code from her, and she asks Sherlock again to point out the flaw: he does, there’s gonna be two codes, one to open the phone and one to burn the harddrive. Irene purrs “oh, he’s good, isn’t he? I should have him on a leash. … In fact, I might.” Heh heh heh! Yes please! (My enjoyment of this scene is hampered by the fact that Sherlock is pointedly not-looking at Irene anymore and looks to be retreating into himself and it’s very, very sad. But the “leash” line made me squee because sometimes I am that shallow.) And they can’t destroy the phone because it could potentially hold information that could save the lives of British citizens.
Irene has a list of requests, which includes enough money to make Mycroft’s eyebrows go up. She tells him to go talk to people and Sherlock makes a “heh” noise because someone just pwned his brother, the identity of the person is meaningless to that action. Hee hee hee.
Mycroft says he wishes his people were half as good as Irene, she says she had some help from … Jim Moriarty. She tells Sherlock that he “sends his love” and Sherlock straightens up a bit. (YAAAAAAAAAY!) Mycroft says that Moriarty has “been in touch” with him. “He seems desperate for my attention … which I’m sure can be arranged.” Oh, you WISH, Mycroft. Sherlock looks stunned or angry or … I dunno, really. Irene said she had “all this stuff” but no idea what to do with it, so “Thank god for the consulting criminal” and she says he gave her lots of advice on “how to play the Holmes boys.” Ooooooooooo.
Apparently Moriarty’s nickname for Mycroft is “The Iceman” and his nickname for Sherlock is “The Virgin.” Those are both hilarious and heartbreaking, because it’s funny in a horrible kind of way and then heartbreaking because it reveals their insecurities/flaws: Mycroft tries to be so cold and aloof but he really cares about his brother deep down and that led to his undoing, and Sherlock is wicked smart but ultimately clueless about matters of love and sex and was undone in that way.
Irene says that Moriarty didn’t even want payment, just “wanted to cause trouble” and says “that’s my kind of man.” OUCH. OUCH OUCH. Sherlock closes his eyes and sighs with pain. Why don’t you just cut out his heart with a spoon while you’re at it, lady? Mycroft says “the dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees. Nicely played.” Hee.
Then Sherlock says “no” and stand up and he and Irene exchange a brilliant bunch of dialogue I don’t have the time to transcribe. Basically he says that Irene got carried away with this game and let sentiment get in the way and she tries to crush his heart to deter him from this line of thinking but he says that he took her pulse and we flash back to them on the couch and he takes her pulse again now in Mycroft’s room and he says her pupils dilated. He takes the phone and says “I imagine John Watson thinks love is a mystery to me but the chemistry is remarkably simple.” Oh no … Irene is already looking scared. Sherlock says that the safe combination was her measurements but the phone is her “heart” and he says “you should never let it rule your head” (pot, kettle, black) and starts to type in the password. The music pounds with each button-push. Sherlock says “I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage, thank you for the final proof.” OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I WILL HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS AT THE END OF THE RECAP!
Irene says nothing she said was real and she was “just playing the game” and he says “I know … and this is just loosing.” And he finishes the code. “SHER” so the whole screen no longer reads “I am ____ Locked” But “I am Sher Locked.” Which is cheesy and stupid and clever and awesome and heartbreaking all at the same time.
Irene starts crying, Sherlock hands the unlocked phone to Mycroft and apologizes for fucking up his plans so much, Irene asks “Are you expecting me to beg?” and Sherlock says “yes” and she does. She says she won’t last six months without protection. Sherlock turns to face her and says “sorry about dinner” and walks out. OUCH. OUCH. OUCH!
Later, John finds Mycroft smoking outside the café under their apartment. It’s raining, so for once he needs his umbrella as more than an accessory. He and John go inside and Mycroft puts the file on Irene Adler on the table. Mycroft says Irene got herself into a Witness Protection program in America, he’ll never see her again. John says Sherlock won’t care, he hates Irene and won’t even say her name, just “The Woman” and Mycroft asks if that’s loathing “or a salute?” Heh. Mycroft muses, “The only woman who matters.” I object strongly to that one, Mycroft. Mrs. Hudson clearly matters a lot to Sherlock. And how many cases were helped along because Molly let Sherlock come in and beat the corpses on her watch? Or the homeless women? Irene isn’t the only woman who’s going to be important to Sherlock, be more specific in the future or I’ll call you sexist.
John and Mycroft discuss Sherlock. They’re pretty clueless about what his real thoughts and emotions are like, and why he chooses to be a consulting detective instead of as scientist or something. Mycroft says “initially he wanted to be a pirate.” BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA! OH MY GOD! LITTLE!SHERLOCK WAVING A SWORD AROUND AND STEALING MUMMY’S JEWELRY BOX AND BURRYING IT IN THE GARDEN AND MAKING MYCROFT WALK THE PLANK! I MAY NEVER BREATHE AGAIN!
Turns out the WitSec thing is a lie, she’s dead according to Mycroft. She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi months ago and beheaded. John points out that she’s faked her own death before. Mycroft says he’s sure, “it would take Sherlock Holmes to fool me.”
John goes upstairs and tells Sherlock that Irene is in WitSec and offers the file, which Sherlock doesn’t want. He does want the phone, though. John gives it to him, despite protesting that it’s the Government’s now, because Sherlock says “please.” John asks if Irene ever texted him back, after all that, and Sherlock says yes, months ago, and it was “goodbye Mr. Holmes.” John leaves. Sherlock looks down the list of texts she sent (all saved) and comes to the end of the list: Goodbye Mr Holmes. He walks over to the window and sad music plays.
We cut to grainy video footage that slowly stabilizes. Irene is kneeling on the floor, surrounded by guys with guns and one guy with a sword. She texts the final message to Sherlock and looks really sad but resigned. She closes her eyes. The screen goes dark. (The first time I watched this, I was biting my fingers and shaking and angry and near tears.)
Then we hear the phone orgasm.
Irene opens her eyes, there are tears going down her face, and she looks up at the guy with the sword. It’s SHERLOCK! He says “When I say run, run!” and swings the sword at the nearest guard! Irene smiles.
We cut to Sherlock smiling in his apartment and chuckling. “The Woman,” he says, putting the phone into a drawer, before saying more seriously “The Woman” and walking away.
I chose to think that happened for real. I don’t think it was a hallucination on her part, or a fantasy on his part. I think it really happened. If it was a lie, I’m going to find Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss and to terrible things to them, so they’d better not have killed Irene off like that.
So, that episode was just as good the second time around, though there was less screaming and yelling on my part this time because I knew what was going to happen. I hope to watch it again, without stopping every five seconds to type, and just enjoy it slowly, hopefully with my boyfriend at my side.
Now, onto two big opinionated issues about this episode:
About the “Irene is Gay” Thing:
I can’t really sort out my feelings about the “I’m gay … but I love Sherlock” thing. On the one hand, I’m a bit pissed that they didn’t just make her cheerfully bisexual. I mean, come on, she likes girls and Sherlock and “recreationally scolds” men and women … to me, that’s at least a Kinsey 4. Then again, as a dominatrix you don’t have to have sex with your client, in fact many doms are very adamant about that. So it is possible that Irene is a lesbian who just happens to be attracted to just Sherlock … and really, I can accept that. Sometimes there really is that one person who doesn’t fit into your orientation and yet you love them/are attracted to them all the same. They don’t change you into liking all X, just this one X. It’s the person, not the gender/sex/alien species. So I could accept that, Sherlock is not just incredibly smexy but wicked smart and a great nemesis for those who are into that sort of thing and like mindfuckery and teasing and games. I don’t think nemeses care about what their nemesis has got between their legs, it’s all about what’s between their ears, because their brain keeps outwitting them and surprising them. The sex will be fun and hot, but it takes a backseat to the mind games. And they’re not exactly nemeses anymore, they’re more like … friendly enemies? Banter-partners? Friends with benefits? I dunno … they’re something special, though.
So while I’d have preferred Irene to be bi, I can accept her as a lesbian who’s Sherlock-sexual. So long as the writers don’t use that as an excuse to turn her straight or make her suddenly realize she likes all men now as well as women. She’s an experienced dom, she’s had ample time and loads of situations to figure out if she’s attracted to men. Since she says that not, I will believe that she’s not. It’s just women and Sherlock. I can deal. So long as I silence my inner bisexual-activist who’s wibbling and upset in the corner, I can deal.
About the “He Beat Her” Thing:
At first I objected to the end of this episode, and the idea that Sherlock “beat” her in the end. She’s supposed to beat him. She’s supposed to fool them all and be dreadfully clever and leave town and be that enigma to him forever. She’s not supposed to get reduced to tears by two socially-inept men and lock her phone with a sentimental pun and have to be rescued by a man.
But then I realized that yeah, they might have won the physical game, the game with the evidence and scheming and machinations … but she won the emotional game. Which, in the end, is way more important and long-lasting and character developing than a bunch of incriminating pictures and information would have ever been.
She really shook up Mycroft … Mycroft, you saw how destroyed he was when he found out his plane thing was no longer going to work. He’s never gonna forget that scare. He’s never gonna underestimate anyone again. And we all found out that for all his snarking and posturing, he really does care about his brother. He learned that people can and will blackmail him by threatening his brother, and that he can’t (or shouldn’t) treat Sherlock like a pawn when he’s obviously unwilling to sacrifice him in the game.
And Sherlock … oh wow. Sherlock learned a lot from his dealings with Irene. I mean, look at that grin at the end when he’s thinking back on rescuing her/helping her escape (it was totally a team effort there at the end, don’t try to convince me otherwise) not many people or events can make him grin like that. And he’s realized how vulnerable and susceptible he is emotionally. But instead of making him retreat further into his “I don’t care, I don’t have a heart” persona, it’s made him grow. Like his relationship with John (whether it’s platonic or romantic, it’s not sexual yet, but it’s a very important relationship just the same) Sherlock’s relationship with Irene has coaxed him out of his shell a little and made him more aware, both of himself and the people around him.
So yeah, Irene didn’t win the con, big deal. She won the story, though.
And think about how Sherlock “beat” her. He didn’t just use his super logic powers, he used his new awareness of emotions to deduce the password. Remember the “Rache(l)” thing in episode one where he didn’t understand why a mother would still care about an unborn baby so many years later and John said “a bit not good” to him? I don’t think Sherlock’s going to be doing much of that kind of thing anymore, not after Irene.
So yeah, he won the phone gambit, but it’s Irene who ultimately came out on top. Just my two-cents. Or, rather, my 24-and-a-bit pages of word document.
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Date: 2012-01-08 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-08 03:38 pm (UTC)