Happy August! Here's some Lightbulb jokes!

[aunt_zelda]

One of my many relations sent this to me, and I think they're funny. I hope I do not offend any of you. As for me, I've decided that, whatever I choose to be, it won't be Christian.
Anyhoodle, Happy August! My B-Day is August 18th! Yay!
Think of this as my present to YOU guys. Oh, and the Master Slash List that I'll put up momentarily.

                                      CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY:

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
 
  
Charismatic: Only 1.
 Hands are already in the air.
 
 
  
Pentecostal: 10.
 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

 
  
Presbyterians: None.
 Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
 
  
 
Roman Catholic: None.
 Candles only. 
 
 
 
Baptists: At least 15.
 One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change
 and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
 
 
 
Episcopalians: 3
 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
 how much better the old one was. 
 
 
 
Mormons: 5
 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
 

 
Unitarians: 
 We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
 for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that
 light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a
 modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which
 we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
 incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
 equally valid paths to luminescence. 
 
 
 
Methodists: Undetermined
 Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.
 You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of
 your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
 

 
Nazarene: 6
 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting
 policy. 
 
 
 
Lutherans: None
 Lutherans don't believe in change.
 
 
 
Amish: 
 What's a light bulb?

Comments

[holy-cockroach.livejournal.com]

Zeeeeep! ILY!!!!! This improved my day/night/earlyearlymorningthing!! (Barely stops self from making lame puns involving the word "bright" XD) I is needing to be sleeping now XP.

I love the Unitarians one, and the Episcopalians one, and the Amish one, cuz they were the best! They made me giggle <3.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

The Unitarian one is my favorite one. The Amish one a close second. I don't get the Episcopalians one because I don't know what that means ...
Hello fellow insomniac! I'm going to be soon, though ...

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Ha, those jokes are pretty funny. All the answers made me giggle. Especially the Unitarian one. I have a friend who was a Uniatrian for a while, and she says it was pretty much a free for all. Which I think is pretty darn sweet.

Oh and how old are you gonna be this year?

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

Which I think is pretty darn sweet.
Yeah, I've been to a Unitarian Church once or twice ... very nice ... possibly that's what the future will be ...

Oh and how old are you gonna be this year?
I cannot reveal that information. There are sketchy people out there ... for all you know I could be thirty-four, or twelve, or nineteen ... you'll never know ...
(Love the icon ... BSG RULES! - I haven't seen season 3, don't tell me a THING!)

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty much out there on the religious limb. I go to work Sunday mornings instead of going to church. It's cause I'm a bad person.

But I keep meaning to stop into the Episcopal church, cause they support the gay marriage and some other things I like. I'll give 'em a try.

Are you calling me a sketchy person? Oh, I'm so wounded. *dramatic sobbing*

I haven't seen any of season 3, either! I am anxiously waiting for it to come out on DVD. I haven't seen a new episode in freaking aaaages.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

It's cause I'm a bad person.
No you're not!

I'll give 'em a try.
They support gay marriage?! They're Christian?! There's hope yet!

Are you calling me a sketchy person? Oh, I'm so wounded. *dramatic sobbing*
Don't cry! I have to be safe! I'm sorry, even though we're friends, I can't tell ya. *gives tissues*

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear, I pride myself on how morally loose I am. Morals. Who has an ethical code that they actually follow?

Actually, I'm not that bad. I just believe in trying everything once and letting people figure things out on their own.

I KNOW! I was very shocked when I heard there were Christians who didn't hate the gay.

Oh no, I was just messing with you. I have to know someone a loooong time on LJ before I give them too much personal info.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

I KNOW! I was very shocked when I heard there were Christians who didn't hate the gay.
*grumblegrumble* why didn't anyone TELL ME THIS before?

I have to know someone a loooong time on LJ before I give them too much personal info.
Agreed!

(I love your icon! The ONE episode of SG: Atlantis I've ever seen was that one. So funny ... "the term is 'rakish'" heh ...

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Oh man, you should really watch all of SGA! It's so very funny and gay. And there are many hot guys to ogle. In all, it makes for a very kick ass show.

And that was such a cute episode! Rodney and John. Oh, they kill me with their awesome gay love.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

And there are many hot guys to ogle. In all, it makes for a very kick ass show.
I would imagine that would make for a very kick ass show ...

And that was such a cute episode! Rodney and John. Oh, they kill me with their awesome gay love.
*should have realized that* Is it canon? Now that I think on it, it kinda looked like canon ...

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Well, I could lie and say it is full-out canon, but it really isn't. But in the world of the fangirls, it pretty much is. The writers just give us so much to work with. And they only half-heartedly try to set the boys up with a girl about once a season at most.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

And they only half-heartedly try to set the boys up with a girl about once a season at most.
Heh. The sci-fi community loves us: Captain Jack, Zachary Quinto, SGA ... imagine if ZQ and the guy who plays Captain Jack got together on a show - the slash world would explode!

(That icon is HILARIOUS!)

[capesofwrath.livejournal.com]

Oh, John Barrowman and Zach Quinto? WOW. My head would freaking explode. That'd be too hot for me to handle.

But yes, the sci fi community does produce a lot of gay between male characters. They just don't always make it canon for some reason.

Ah, I love my Hair and The Brain icon. It sums up the relationship of John and Rodney so very well. Sheppard's hair is practically a character of its own.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

My head would freaking explode. That'd be too hot for me to handle.
But with those two actors ... so much slash would happen! It would be worth the worldwide fangirl head-explosion!

But yes, the sci fi community does produce a lot of gay between male characters. They just don't always make it canon for some reason.
Perhaps to keep the teenage heterosexual male audience that jump-started the genre? Most heterosexual men aren't that comfortable with gays and bis, but lesbians they LOVE ... it's icky ...

Sheppard's hair is practically a character of its own.
Like Peter's bangs! Or Sylar's Sybrows!