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aunt_zeldaToday began horribly, continued wonderfully, and is ending nicely.
First off, the nasty bits: I woke up way too early because my room was stuffy and I was having an allergic reaction to dust or mold or something. Horrible. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I stayed up for an hour reading Good Omens which I got yesterday and is shaping up to be one of my favorite books. (More on that later, once I've finished. Don't tell me a thing, and yes, I already ship Crowley/Aziraphale, I did even before I picked up the book it's that easy.) Then I was so tired that I managed to get back to sleep, but then I commenced to have the strangest dream I have ever had, and you guys should know by now that I have STRANGE dreams. Very, very weird dreams go on inside my head. But one I had woken up for good today, I felt hungover and thought "my mind is a scary place to be."
It's hard to explain but ... it's like I had every dream I've ever had AT ONCE (it was that intense) or every dream I've ever had ONE AFTER THE OTHER (it was that jumbled and frantic, and my dreams usually are, but this was ... bad, like usually my dreams are a continuous sort of story or quest or what have you, or maybe I'm doing one thing for a while and then things change drastically, but it's chronological and makes SENSE, even in its most bizarre. Such was not the case this morning. It was like a frantic clip show: BANG BANG BANG-BANG-BA-BANG!!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!1!!!!11!!!!) My dream was sexy (I was oggling one of the girls from theater - who was getting dressed in a fancy dressing room and wearing a bathrobe and nothing else) disgusting (I ... coughed things ... UGH) enjoyable (I was Harry Potter) scary (we got off the train and had to go up this ... hill, and there were these ... dogs snarling on one side. It's the first time in my life that I can remember CLOSING MY EYES IN A DREAM, I was that scared!) annoying (I was commenting on a movie we were watching and a woman told me to shut up) trippy (it ended with this ... song. Think 'The Oaty Bar Song' but ON ACID. With rappers. And a lolita-girl in sexy boots killing some guys to a Sin City type voiceover. And the whole package giving you this horrible sense of disgustingness and foreboding.) and much, much more besides. I woke up feeling perfectly wretched andawful. I staggered, groaned, tried to talk out my dream as best I could, and repeatedly thought "this must be what coming off a high feels like."
I crawled through my morning routine, got my orange juice in me and some breakfast, prepared some lunch, and managed to get over to practice, listening to my iPod the whole way to drown that SONG and horrible feeling out of my head. By the time I got to the stage, I was almost how I usually am after just waking up. Which is to say, dazed, sluggish, and vaguely talkative.
Things improved from there.
I mentioned my trippy horrible dream and showed off my copy of Good Omens to oooohs and aaaahs, we practiced the dance (which is coming along very well. Huzzah!) and then staggered through the show. It's ... rough, but coming along. I had time to nip over and return library books, someone bought me a little cup of ice cream, some old friends stopped by, and I got to talk about slash with one of my fellow cast members. She's so cool. We both agree that 'The Winter's Tale' is a very slashy play.
Oh, and I talked about my crush on That-Girl to That-Girl's friend (let's call her 'Mopsa,' shall we?) On Tuesday (when one of my friends actually FAINTED onstage from heatstroke/dhydration and I was called a 'hero' because I caught her as she fell. Good god, I was terrified. Cried on the way home. ULP.) I asked Mopsa if That-Girl had a boyfriend, or ever had had one. Luckily I was able to shift the conversation away from the subject once she started asking 'why do you want to know?' Today I asked, nervously, a few scenes before we were due onstage, whether That-Girl was 'interested in girls.' Mopsa has been suspicious since Tuesday and said "I knew it!" and I blushed and felt awkward but relieved to be getting this off of my chest, as it were. Mopsa said that That-Girl was only interested in girls "when she's drunk" and isn't that a great sort of person to have your first girl-crush on? *headdesk* Still, Mopsa was very nice and seemed comfortable talking about this, and said she was sorry, and really, I OUGHT to have a crush on her instead of That-Girl. I seem to know a lot of people whom I OUGHT to have crushes on, but the people I end up having major, distracting, your-body-goes-crazy-at-the-sight-of-them, crushes on are people ill-suited to me, jerks, or people I don't know at all. Case in point: That Guy (the jerk of a dreamy artist with David Tennant hair who is a jerk and dating Another Girl who KNEW I'd had a crush on That Guy for years. Bitch. They're going to have pale, intellectual, inaudible babies together, I just know it. UGH. ... I'm over him, honestly, I just like to vent HERE so I don't do mean, vindictive things to their cars.) and now That-Girl, a person who I know practically NOTHING about and seem to have no control over lusting after/crushing on/loving/daydreaming/nightdreaming about/writing sonnets for/realizing I'm bisexual because of/thinking about for a year because my head can't seem to connect even REMOTELY with my body when I see her. It's quite scary, actually. At least with That Guy I could get through a class with him sitting a few seats away from me. With That-Girl, I barely managed to get through the showcase last Friday (people say I did really well, even that I was 'amazing') because I was scared out of my wits and high on stage/girl fright because of HER.
Still, all in all, it's good to have talked to Mopsa about this, and know that while That Girl is ok with LGBT-ness, she's probably never going to be as into me as I'm into her.
Honestly, it's GOOD to know that.
*wibbles*
To cap it all off, I had a shower, a nice salad, and finished watching Librarian: The Judas Chalice (kinda dig those movies ...) and then watched Kinky Boots for the first time ever. LOVE KINKY BOOTS! One of my favorite movies! (Though I would have been just as happy had Charlie ended up with Lola/Simon instead of the cute girl, but that's what slash fic is for, yeah? *eyes the internet*)
So ... need to get to bed. I'm sorry that I haven't been attentive or proliffic around here ... but the play's the thing at the moment.
You should all get addicted to this awesome podcast:http://community.livejournal.com/made_of_fail_pc/ Because it's awesome. And incredibly geeky and wonderful. And Linkara guest stars sometimes. And one of the founders was nice to me. (People who are nice to me are people to support. Especially if they 'met' me by reading my Epic AU TGWTG fanfic.)
First off, the nasty bits: I woke up way too early because my room was stuffy and I was having an allergic reaction to dust or mold or something. Horrible. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I stayed up for an hour reading Good Omens which I got yesterday and is shaping up to be one of my favorite books. (More on that later, once I've finished. Don't tell me a thing, and yes, I already ship Crowley/Aziraphale, I did even before I picked up the book it's that easy.) Then I was so tired that I managed to get back to sleep, but then I commenced to have the strangest dream I have ever had, and you guys should know by now that I have STRANGE dreams. Very, very weird dreams go on inside my head. But one I had woken up for good today, I felt hungover and thought "my mind is a scary place to be."
It's hard to explain but ... it's like I had every dream I've ever had AT ONCE (it was that intense) or every dream I've ever had ONE AFTER THE OTHER (it was that jumbled and frantic, and my dreams usually are, but this was ... bad, like usually my dreams are a continuous sort of story or quest or what have you, or maybe I'm doing one thing for a while and then things change drastically, but it's chronological and makes SENSE, even in its most bizarre. Such was not the case this morning. It was like a frantic clip show: BANG BANG BANG-BANG-BA-BANG!!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!1!!!!11!!!!) My dream was sexy (I was oggling one of the girls from theater - who was getting dressed in a fancy dressing room and wearing a bathrobe and nothing else) disgusting (I ... coughed things ... UGH) enjoyable (I was Harry Potter) scary (we got off the train and had to go up this ... hill, and there were these ... dogs snarling on one side. It's the first time in my life that I can remember CLOSING MY EYES IN A DREAM, I was that scared!) annoying (I was commenting on a movie we were watching and a woman told me to shut up) trippy (it ended with this ... song. Think 'The Oaty Bar Song' but ON ACID. With rappers. And a lolita-girl in sexy boots killing some guys to a Sin City type voiceover. And the whole package giving you this horrible sense of disgustingness and foreboding.) and much, much more besides. I woke up feeling perfectly wretched andawful. I staggered, groaned, tried to talk out my dream as best I could, and repeatedly thought "this must be what coming off a high feels like."
I crawled through my morning routine, got my orange juice in me and some breakfast, prepared some lunch, and managed to get over to practice, listening to my iPod the whole way to drown that SONG and horrible feeling out of my head. By the time I got to the stage, I was almost how I usually am after just waking up. Which is to say, dazed, sluggish, and vaguely talkative.
Things improved from there.
I mentioned my trippy horrible dream and showed off my copy of Good Omens to oooohs and aaaahs, we practiced the dance (which is coming along very well. Huzzah!) and then staggered through the show. It's ... rough, but coming along. I had time to nip over and return library books, someone bought me a little cup of ice cream, some old friends stopped by, and I got to talk about slash with one of my fellow cast members. She's so cool. We both agree that 'The Winter's Tale' is a very slashy play.
Oh, and I talked about my crush on That-Girl to That-Girl's friend (let's call her 'Mopsa,' shall we?) On Tuesday (when one of my friends actually FAINTED onstage from heatstroke/dhydration and I was called a 'hero' because I caught her as she fell. Good god, I was terrified. Cried on the way home. ULP.) I asked Mopsa if That-Girl had a boyfriend, or ever had had one. Luckily I was able to shift the conversation away from the subject once she started asking 'why do you want to know?' Today I asked, nervously, a few scenes before we were due onstage, whether That-Girl was 'interested in girls.' Mopsa has been suspicious since Tuesday and said "I knew it!" and I blushed and felt awkward but relieved to be getting this off of my chest, as it were. Mopsa said that That-Girl was only interested in girls "when she's drunk" and isn't that a great sort of person to have your first girl-crush on? *headdesk* Still, Mopsa was very nice and seemed comfortable talking about this, and said she was sorry, and really, I OUGHT to have a crush on her instead of That-Girl. I seem to know a lot of people whom I OUGHT to have crushes on, but the people I end up having major, distracting, your-body-goes-crazy-at-the-sight-of-them, crushes on are people ill-suited to me, jerks, or people I don't know at all. Case in point: That Guy (the jerk of a dreamy artist with David Tennant hair who is a jerk and dating Another Girl who KNEW I'd had a crush on That Guy for years. Bitch. They're going to have pale, intellectual, inaudible babies together, I just know it. UGH. ... I'm over him, honestly, I just like to vent HERE so I don't do mean, vindictive things to their cars.) and now That-Girl, a person who I know practically NOTHING about and seem to have no control over lusting after/crushing on/loving/daydreaming/nightdreaming about/writing sonnets for/realizing I'm bisexual because of/thinking about for a year because my head can't seem to connect even REMOTELY with my body when I see her. It's quite scary, actually. At least with That Guy I could get through a class with him sitting a few seats away from me. With That-Girl, I barely managed to get through the showcase last Friday (people say I did really well, even that I was 'amazing') because I was scared out of my wits and high on stage/girl fright because of HER.
Still, all in all, it's good to have talked to Mopsa about this, and know that while That Girl is ok with LGBT-ness, she's probably never going to be as into me as I'm into her.
Honestly, it's GOOD to know that.
*wibbles*
To cap it all off, I had a shower, a nice salad, and finished watching Librarian: The Judas Chalice (kinda dig those movies ...) and then watched Kinky Boots for the first time ever. LOVE KINKY BOOTS! One of my favorite movies! (Though I would have been just as happy had Charlie ended up with Lola/Simon instead of the cute girl, but that's what slash fic is for, yeah? *eyes the internet*)
So ... need to get to bed. I'm sorry that I haven't been attentive or proliffic around here ... but the play's the thing at the moment.
You should all get addicted to this awesome podcast:
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 12:34 pm (UTC)Dude, if you find this, link it? I mean, I saw the movie a few weeks back, and I actually wanted a Don/Lola ending, but you know, beggars can't be chosers. :D