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aunt_zeldaThis is it, guys. The big one. The last one. The final countdown.
THIS ... IS ...
The last episode of Lost EVER!
Except not. There's a whole 'nother season left. YOU PROMISED THAT THIS WAS IT HOW DARE YOU BASTARDS ARRRRRRRRRGH! *headdesk, headdesk, headdesk*
Anyhoodle, it took me FOREVER to get this done, not only because it's two hours long, but because I recently got addicted to thatguywiththeglasses.com and watched some Linkara vids today and, because of this, realized that I'd never really gottten around to watching the show X-Men Evolution and drifted over to youtube and proceeded to spend about an hour or so watching the cartoon for the first time ever. I love it ... except for Kitty's stupid voice. That I hate with a fiery passion. But Wolverine is cool, Jean has pretty hair, Xavier is the MAN as always, and I might just want to marry Kurt. Does that make me a furry?
*blushes* Ah, moving away from that touchy subject, I must make a Public Service Announcement. I'm going on ANOTHER trip that (because I don't want to risk having this stolen or lug it around the streets of a large city) will not allow me to bring my laptop. So I will be missing from the interwebs Monday through Friday. I might nip online tomorrow morning, or make a 'hey, I'm back!' announcement Friday night, but probably you guys won't 'hear' from me again until next Saturday. Sorry, I'll be sure to tell you all the (vague) details of my trip once I'm back, and maybe now that Heroes and Lost are over for the summer, I can move onto Doctor Who recaps and writing more fanfiction!
Ok, now here is the recap of what was supposed to be the last episode of Lost ever!
"The Incident"
Previously on Lost: it's the same stuff they used for last week's episode! How cheap!
We begin with some earthen jugs rattling ominously as someone ... spins wool. Not exactly how I imagined the (supposed) season finale of the most epic show in existence, but stranger things have occurred on this cracktastic festapalooza of a series, so ok!
Ah, the camera pans back and we see that the someone is spinning wool in a large antechamber that looks Egyptian in origin. Much better! Flames flicker from the center of the room ominously. The someone (a blond Caucasian guy) painstakingly proceeds to weave a tapestry. *stares inquisitively at laptop to make sure that I'm not watching an episode
Theme song!
Somewhere ... I dunno where. A small dark-haired girl and a blondish boy try to steal something. They get caught, and we learn that the girl is Kate! Shopkeeper threatens to call her mommy and the police, but JACOB steps in and pays for the stolen goods. The shopkeeper accepts the money and tells Kate not to come into his shop without her parents. Jacob makes a 'yeesh!' face at Kate, who shrugs cutely. She thanks him, he kneels down and says "You're not going to steal anymore, right?" she nods, he pokes her nose, she grins, and he says "Be good, Katie," and leaves.
Of course, we flash to the Past Present, where Juliet is handcuffed on the sub next to Juliet and across from Sawyer. The sub commander announces that they're going to wait and do system checks and hand out the meds for people. What do they do for the babies?
Kate, Juliet, and Sawyer have a talk. Kate wants to get out, Sawyer notes that they're underwater, Juliet wants to know where Jack is, Kate tells them about Jack's plans to blow up the hydrogen bomb but skimps on the whole re-writing their lives for the past couple of years (which would get Sawyer on her side, at least) and Sawyer opts out. He says that he and Juliet were happy in Dharmaville until the gang showed up, and he and Juliet want to try the real world out. "If Jack wants to blow up the
Back on the
At the partially-constructed Swan Station, Rad jumps out of a van and gets into a pissing-match with Dr. Chang. Rad wants to keep drilling, Dr. Chang thinks that now, after evacuating "all non-essential personnel" and being "on the verge of a possible insurrection" this isn't the time for Rad's experiments. Rad says that he's been working on the this project for SIX YEARS (SIX YEARS, oh my god ... and how long will you sit in that Hatch before you blow your brains out over the ceiling, Rad? ... uh, sorry, that was a little cruel. Rad's a jerk, though.) Rad gets the drill started after stating that if
Future-Present (which is technically 2007, so it's the Past-Present-Future but that's harder to type) the Others (including Sun, Locke, Richard, and Ben, but I don't see Vincent or Rose or Bernard) pilgrimage across those volcanic rocks by the sea. Locke calls a five minute break, and Sun takes the opportunity to ask Ben who Jacob is. "He's in charge of this
Ben says that everyone answers to someone, and that the Leader answers to Jacob. Sun asks what Jacob's like, and Ben answers TRUTHFULLY "I don't know Sun ... I've never met him."
Off to the side, Richard and Locke have a scene. Richard says that Ben told him that he strangled Locke. "That is my recollection, yes," Locke replies, calmly sipping some water like the complete BADASS he is. Locke then confirms that he really was dead. Richard says that he's seen strange things on this
Ilana, Clifford the Big Red Shirt, and some little Red Shirts row one of those weird canoes to another part of the Island (I think that they're on the Main Island now) with Unconcious!Frank and that Ominous Big Metal Box inside. Clifford wants to know why they brought Frank (whom he calls a 'yahoo,' which for me is like a character calling Hurley 'fat' ... i.e. THAT CHARACTER NEEDS TO DIE A KARMIC DEATH, THE SOONER THE BETTER.) Illana says that just because Frank couldn't answer the question doesn't mean he's not important (good points for her!) Clifford asks if she thinks Frank is 'a candidate.' Well, I dunno about you 'yahoos,' but I'd vote for him! Oh, Illana uses her Bounty Hunter senses to deduce that Frank is actually awake and listening to them. Frank opens his eyes, Clifford is peeved, and Frank wonders what he's a candidate for. He then asks who the hell Illana and her band of Merry Red Shirts are. "We're friends," she has the gall to reply. "You knock all of your friends on the head with rifles, put 'em in a boat and kidnap 'em?" Frank asks. "Only the ones we like." Illana says, winning more good points from me. Clifford hands Frank some water, giving him this creeeeeeeepy sort of smirk. Frank hesitates, then drinks. Clifford and the other Red Shirts (there are three of them, all men) haul the crate out. Franks asks what's inside. Clifford and Illana exchange looks, and the former says that it's Illana's call. She tells the Red Shirts to open it. They do. I suddenly get the suspicion that it's John's body. Frank sees what's inside and says "Terrific ..." and we, the audience, don't get to see. DANGIT!
A funeral, sometime. It's safe to assume that it's in the ballpark of thirty years previous to now, as there aren't many men wearing hats. A little blond boy watches as two coffins are loaded into hearses (hearses? Hearsi?) and trundled away. Later, he sits on the steps of the Church, trying to write something. Jacob walks up and offers him a pen. The kid thanks him. Jacob says that he can keep the pen ... and then says "I'm very sorry about your mother and father, James," and leaves. Just as I'm wracking my brains about 'James ...? No, that's not Sawyer ...' we pan down to what James is writing. It's the 'Dear Mister Sawyer' letter. I admit it. I yelped. That's just, INSANE continuity. And so very, very awesome. A man with a Southern Accent walks up to James and tells him that they've got to get to the cemetery. Then he takes the letter and starts to read it aloud. "Dear Mister Sawyer. You don't know me, but I know what you done." It's creepy how I could recite most of that letter from memory at this point, almost like the opening of certain Harry Potter books and all the lyrics to Ultimate Showdown by Lemon Demon. (Ok, now that we've cleared that I am a geek ...) Family Member Guy tells James that he's got every right to be angry about his mother and father and what Mr. Sawyer did to them, but he's got to move on, his parents aren't coming back, he can't change that, and "What's done is done." I know he means well, but this conversation is one of those things on TV that you KNOW is going to have a negative impact on the kid. James promises not to finish the letter, and they head off to "go say good-bye" but we all know that he WILL finish that letter. Eventually, it even gets to the recipient.
Past Present, in the Sub. Grown up Sawyer (yum) tries to make sense of Kate's message about the reset and 815 never crashing. Kate is annoyed that the prospect of Jack killing everyone on the
Sedative-Hander-Outer-Guy comes up. Juliet kicks his ass and takes him down, knocking him out, and stealing his keys, all in about ten seconds, very quietly, and WHILST SITTING DOWN WITH ONE HAND CUFFED TO THE TABLE OMG JULIET YOU ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW! Juliet says that they can't just let those people die, and asks Sawyer "You want out? You wanna stay here and whine about it?" Hee. She knows how to get to her man. Sawyer tells her to unlock his cuffs. Kate does not speak in this entire sequence.
Captain makes with technobabble. Juliet and Sawyer disarm him and get him to surface to let them go. Juliet tells him to not bring the other people on the sub back to the
Underground, Sayid pulls the core out. Jack brought him a BACKPACK to put it into. Richard sidles over to talk with Jack. He says that 20 years ago, John Locke walked into his camp and said that he was going to be their leader. That sounds like a fanfic. He says that he's gone to the Mainland and visited Locke twice now (how does Richard do that, exactly? Does he sneak onto the sub? Does he teleport?) and says that Locke hasn't struck him as particularly special. What, failing the Yogi test trumps being the youngest premature baby to survive at the hospital he was delivered at? He's going to survive a fall from an eight-story window! And once he gets onto the
Future Present. Locke and his Others. He stops in to talk with his other boyfriend, Ben, and asks why Ben didn't blab to Richard about how they're hunting wabits Jacob. Ben says that he thought Locke wanted that to be a secret. Locke laughs "Since when did that ever stop you?" Touché, my dear slashy bald man, touché! *giggles* Ben actually admits that since his Dead Daughter (aka Smokey) threatened to destroy him unless he obeyed Locke, Ben has had a change of heart, as it were. Locke backs up and stops, clarifying that Ben will do anything he says. Ben ducks his head and breathes "Yes" like the good uke he is, and I hear the sound of a million fanfics being written. After grinning like a kid who got the cookie jar open and found their Christmas presents and the cookies too, Locke sobers up and says that he won't have to 'convince' Ben after all. He moves on, but Ben stay where he is, sounding nervous "Convince me to do what?" Locke turns around and says "I'm not going to kill Jacob, Ben. You are." and I gasp so loud that I startle my cat. Locke strides off, and Ben looks terrified.
And then we have the most horrifying flashback since we saw exactly what Shirley Bellinger did to land on Death Row on Oz. Seriously. I think this one scene traumatized me for life. Sayid and Nadia are arm-in-arm, happy and in love (which is hard enough as it is) and prepare to cross the street. Jacob holds Sayid back, asking for directions. Nadia turns around to say something to Sayid, raising her arm, happy ... and then a car smashes into her. As if that wasn't horrifying enough we see her ROLL ON THE GROUND, the car drive away, and Sayid hold her in his arms. She whimpers in Arabic "Take me home ... take me home ..." and dies. Sayid cries, looking as stunned and wounded as I feel, and holds his left hand over hers, so we can see their wedding rings and her blood and the asphalt and OH MY GOD PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS EPISODE CAME WITH AT LEAST A DISCLAIMER OR SOMETHING! *rocks back and forth and cries* Nooooooooooo ...
*takes a breather*
Ok, I'm back ... *gulps*
Past Future. Sayid is actually brave (or stupid) enough to put the backpack with the bomb on his back. He'd gonna get weird rashes on his back and land in that episode with House. Backpacks do nothing to shield you from radiation, dude! They move out. They stop at a wall, which Richard sounds out before smashing down with a sledgehammer. Hoo boy ... think I might have to take another break ...
Behind the wall is a basement of a Dharma cabin. Jack wants to go first, but Eloise says that she's in charge, she's going first because if there's trouble upstairs, Jack might hesitate. She cocks her pistol for emphasis, and then Richard GRABS THE GUN AND BRAINS HER ON THE HEAD WITH IT. Dayum. Go-go Eyeliner Boy!
He holds Eloise as she sinks to the ground and points the gun at Jack and Sayid. He tells them to go ahead, he helped them like Eloise wanted him to, but he's protecting his leader and would rather her be angry than dead. Jack and Sayid leave. Richard looks relieved. Sayid puts on a jumpsuit, hoping that they'll blend in with all the chaos going on, but then Ben's daddy recognizes Sayid. He even shoots him in the side! Jack starts shooting randomly, killing at least one Dharma guy. They duck behind the corner of a house, having sparked even more of a panic. Jack slings Sayid's arm over his shoulder and tries to drag him away, shooting several more people and killing at least one more. A Dharma van drives up, and I knew it was Hurley driving even before Jin threw open the doors and we saw Hurley at the wheel. SQUEE!
The sub submerges once again as Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate row to shore in a raft. Juliet pensively watches it go as Sawyer and Kate bicker about directions. Onshore, Kate thanks Juliet for backing her up, Juliet looks like she'd rather lick a cactus and says it was no problem. Sawyer says he has no idea where they are ... and then Vincent runs out of the bushes. Hold your squees, guys, it gets better. ROSE AND BERNARD COME OUT OF THE JUNGLE TOO! I shouted "YES!" and punched the air when I saw Rose. I would have done a little dance too, but I've got some debilitating monthly cramps. Which is probably TMI for you lot, sorry. OMG ROSE AND BERNARD AND VINCENT SURVIVED FOR THREE YEARS OMG YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY J.J. ABRAMS I TOTALLY FORGIVE YOU FOR EXTENDING THE SHOW! *rolls around on the couch in joy*
Bernard is sporting longish hair, a beard, and a stick. Rose (and her spiffy dreadlocks) mutters "They found us ..." and Bernard replies "Son of a bitch." Utto?
Hurley drives. Miles yelps "Is that a bomb?!" Jack and Jin take care of Sayid's wound. Jack orders Hurley to head for the Swan Station if he wants to help Sayid. Then he tells Jin that he's found a way to reunite Jin with Sun. Jack, just stop, ok? Stop lying too these poor people! You're not Ben! You can't pull off being Locke! Shut up and fix wounds and (god help me) cry about your father. But stop trying to talk about destiny and manipulate people. It won't end well. In fact, the way this is going, it may never end!
Rose and Bernard are a little titchy about Sawyer and the others. They know that they were searching for them, grid by grid, and that they joined the Dharma Initiative. Sawyer says that he could have brought them in too, why didn't they ask him? Rose says "Because we're retired." *huggles her* Rose, I have missed you.
Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet look around Rose and Bernard's home. They have a spiffy hut, scavenged Dharma food, and happiness. Bernard says that people spend their whole lives trying to find a quiet place by the ocean, and they did. Rose smiles at him. I wibble. Sawyer apologizes and tells them that the whole place is going to blow soon. Kate tells them "Jack's got a bomb." Rose says "Who cares?" Oooooooh, hell no. Don't tell me that Rose and Bernard are supposed to represent the people who left the show as soon as the time travel stuff started. Rose says "It's always something with you people." she rightly guesses that they're going to stop Jack and his bomb. "We traveled thirty years into the past and you're still finding reasons to shoot each other?" *sniffles* Rose, I just ... *huggles her some more* Juliet says that they need to find the Barracks, or they'll all be dead. "So we die." Bernard says. "All we care about is being together. That's all that matter in the end." *wibbles some more* After an touching moment, Rose tells them where the Barracks are. They thank them, Sawyer shakes their hands, and they head out. Bernard asks Juliet "Are you sure you don't want some tea?" which seems like a kind invitation to stay and forget about all that craziness and running around shooting things. Juliet looks emotional as she replies "Maybe some other time ..." and (reluctantly, I think) heads off with Sawyer and Kate.
Future Present. Illana with her gun. Red shirts with the Box, which is helpfully labled 'Cargo.' Is there a ship to go with it? Frank wishes aloud to Clifford that they'd never showed him what was inside the box, and asks what they intend to do with it. Clifford says that they need to show it to someone to tell those someones that they're up against is way scarier than what's in the box. Clifford says that Frank is safe with them. Frank says he'd feel safer if he knew who they were, adding 'friend' almost sarcastically. Clifford says that they're "the good guys," which, I've just remembered, is what Ben told Michael the Others were at the end of Season 2. Frank says that, in his experience, "people who go out of their way to tell you that they're the good guys are bad guys." Ah, an anecdote worthy of Hiro Nakamura! I approve, Frank, I approve! Clifford has no reply to that. Illana says that they're 'here' ... and 'here' is Jacob's cabin! In the daylight, no less! Clifford notes that the ash has a gap (a binding circle ...?) and Illana ominously says "Wait here ... and goes on ahead.
At an indeterminate time in a low-budget-looking hospital, Jacob (dressed in a snazzy long dark jacket) visits a bandaged invalid. He asks (first in a language that might be French, and then in English) if she (the invalid is female and has curly dark hair) if she can help him. And, of course, it's Illana. She agrees to help Jacob.
Back in the Future Present, Illana goes into the Cabin. It's pretty trashed, and looks odd in daylight. A painting of Vincent (oh, come on, it's totally him!) lies on the floor. Things are smashed and trashed. A knife is stuck on the wall with a piece of cloth, presumably with a message, that Illana glances at. She comes out, tells Clifford that 'he' isn't there, hasn't been for a long time, and that 'someone else' has been 'using it.' Could it be ... the mysterious, shoddy Jeremy Irons clone?! She orders the Red Shirts to 'burn it' and for a second I think she means whatever is in the box, but she means the cabin. The Red Shirts toss Molotov cocktails into the cabin. Frank remarks to Clifford "I'm no tree-hugger, but isn't that a good way to torch the whole forrest?" but his question goes unnoticed. Clifford asks what they do now, and Illana hands him the piece of cloth. It's a part of the tapestry that Jacob was weaving at the beginning of this episode, that shows the Crocodile-headed statue. Clifford says "I guess we know where we're going." Duh, Mr. Big Red Shirt. Frank looks nervous as the cabin goes up in spectacular flames. The Red Shirts grab their crate and get moving. The cabin burns some more. Ooooooo ... fiiiiire! *grins a pyromaniac grin*
Outside in some sort of quad, Jacob reads a book that probably has significant value, but I'll just wait until the TWoP recap to find out what that is. Behind him, a body falls from the sky. As people yelp and gather 'round, Jacob calmly places his bookmark in his book and turns around, and we see that it's John Locke, having been pushed out of the window by his father, Mr. Sawyer. As other people call 911, Jacob puts his hand on Locke's shoulder. Locke's eyes snap open, but I think he's stunned and/or in too much pain to register him. Jacob says that it's going to be ok, and that he's sorry this happened to Locke. And then he walks away. Weird dude.
Future Present. Locke and the Others tramp up to the (trashed) old Camp of the Losties. Locek tells everyone to take the opportunity to rest, as they'll reach Jacob's cabin by nightfall. People spread out. Ben sits down in the sand. Locke drifts over to him and asks if something's wrong. Heh. Ben, looking out at the ocean, says "I was enjoying some alone time" in a drained sort of voice. Heh heh. You've still got it, Benny boy, you've still got it. Locke sits down next to him and asks if he knows what's behind them. Ben turns, sees the Hatch door, and says "It's a door, how 'bout that" listlessly. Hee hee hee! Locke says that it's not just any door, it's the Hatch door! "Where you and I first met." That gets Ben's attention. He even swivels his head around to face his ex-boyfriend, before returning to gaze at the ocean. We gonna get some afternoon delight with these boys now? 'Cause I've been waiting for a payoff on these two for at least three years now. Locke says "Would you mind if I asked you a question -?" "I'm a Pieces." Ben snaps, stepping on Locke's line. HEE HEE HEE! *passes out* But no, Locke's not after romance (Curses!) he wants to know what happened the night Ben took him to see Jacob. Ben grudgingly admits that he was indeed talking to an empty chair "Pretending" he spits, but then adds that he was very surprised when things started flying around the room. Locke asks Ben why he pretended, and Ben says that he was embarrassed that he'd never seen Jacob. "So yes, I lied ..." Ben's eyes drift up to Locke's, "That's what I do." Locke considers his ex, and Ben returns to staring at the ocean. Locke says "ok ..." and stands to go, but Ben asks why Locke wants him to kill Jacob. Locke returns to his side and says that Ben got cancer, had to watch his own daughter (wow, Locke called Alex Ben's own daughter!) and got banished after loyal service to the
Ben seems to agree with me. Or, at least, his face does. He looks like he's assembling a puzzle in his mind. Locke says that the question really is "Why the hell wouldn't you want to kill Jacob?" He leaves Ben, who's still sitting there looking utterly flabbergasted.
Sun wanders the beach, finally coming upon Claire's old tent. She turns the cradle that Locke made in that touching scene so many years ago, and finds the ring that Charlie left Aaron. *sniffles* *wibbles* *chokes up* I'm gonna start sobbing soon, aren't I?
Sure am! Sun flashes back to her wedding (have I mentioned that I've missed the rushing noises that accompany the flashbacks?) where she exchanges vows with Jin and puts a ring on his finger. Jin wrote his down. They go something like "We will never be apart, because being apart from you would be like the sky being apart from the earth ..." and I completely lost it when I read 'we will never be apart.' LITERAL TEARS IN MY EYES. What is is about Sun and Jin that manage to do that to me?! Anyhoodle, they kiss, and then afterwards talk with a woman dressed in a dress that I saw in the illustration for the Korean Cinderella. Then Jacob walks up. He gives his blessings, and says that theirs is a very special love. Speaking directly to Jin, he adds "Never take it for granted." then he bows and leaves. Neither Jin nor Sun recognize him, but according to Jin, his Korean was excellent. So ... Jacob is James Bond? That would certainly make sense ... *wipes eyes*
Present Past. Sayid has realized that they can't stop the bleeding. NOOOOO! STOP TORTURING SAYID! Miles tries to get Jack to clarify the bomb-thing. "This bomb is supposed to, what, blow us back in time?" Jack says no. Miles says that's good, because "That would be ridiculous." Sayid says that he needs to rig the bomb so that it will detonate on impact, adding that if it doesn't stop the Incident, "All of this will have been for nothing." Noooooo ... *sighs* repeat after me, children: if you prevent the Incident, this ENTIRE SHOW will have been for nothing! DON"T DO IT J.J.!
Hurley stops the van. Everyone's heads pop up over the seats rather cutely. Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate are standing in the middle of the road. HA HA! I'm sure it took a lot of restraint on their part to not strike a Charlie's Angels pose.
Future Present. The gang has stopped by the beach where The Foot is. Locke says "Well, it's a wonderful foot, Richard, but what exactly does it have to do with Jacob?" heh heh heh ... that's totally lifted almost verbatim from a chatroom three years ago.
Richard says "It's where he lives." *jawdrop* So ... is there an Old Woman who lives in the Sandal of the Foot?
Past Present. Jack reluctantly agrees to talk with Sawyer, who tells him that after five minutes, Jack can do whatever he wants. Both men hand off their guns and walk off to the side. Bow chicka wow wow?
Close up of some surgery. Whaaat? Is this crossing over with House? For that matter, will the TGWTG team suddenly show up and start beating the shit out of the Others?
Jack nicks the patient's ... sack of something, and that means she could be paralyzed for life should he fail to stitch it up. His dad's standing in the background, and he urges him to close his eyes, count to five, and fix the girl. Jack does. Riveting.
Outside, Jack tries to get a candy bar from a vending machine. It sticks. Jack bangs the thing in frustration, but it doesn't work. His dad comes up to him. Jack is mad that his dad gave him a 'time out' during his first major procedure, and that everyone thinks Jack got his job because his dad is his dad. Jack says that he knows his dad doesn't believe in him, but he needs his team to believe in him. His dad snarks "Are you sure it's me who doesn't believe in you, Jack?" Jacob peeks around the corner and asks if one of the two candy bars he's got is Jack's. Jack says that the machine was stuck, and Jacob says "All it needed was a little push," and ominously hands the candy bar over to Jack. Wow. Now there''s a weird sentence to type!
Jungle. Past Present. It's interesting how Jack is covered in blood now, just like he has been when he's been in surgery. Sawyer gets Jack to sit down, and then proceeds to tell him about how his dad killed his mother and then himself, all while Sawyer was hiding under the bed. Sawyer then says that that happened a year ago. He could have gotten on the sub and stopped it. Jack asks why he didn't. Sawyer says that 'what's done is done,' and asks Jack what he screwed up so badly that he feels the need to blow up a NUKE to change it. Jack says that's not what this is about. Like hell, Jack, like hell. Jack says that three years ago Locke told him that everything was happening for a reason, and that it was destiny. Sawyer says "I don't speak destiny. But what I do understand is that a man does what he does because he wants something for himself." he asks what Jack wants. I yelp "He wants you, you idiot!" Jack says "I had her ... and then I lost her." Sawyer, almost disgusted at the anti-clamacticness of the situation, clarifies "Kate?" and points out that Kate is standing on the other side of those trees, all Jack as to do is go over and ask her. Jack says "It's too late for that," which, in my experience, being forced to watch millions of romantic comedies with my mother from a very young age, always means that it is not yet too late. Jack gets up to leave. Sawyer stands up and yells that if what Jack does works, Kate will be a stranger in handcuffs. Jack says "What's meant to be is meant to be." *headdesk* He and Jack agree to disagree .. and then Sawyer headbutts Jack. Then they have a knockdown dragout fight. Neither really gives an inch. Sawyer does most of the angry yelling, such as "I had a life here!" and "You think you can come here and do whatever the hell you want?" and most of it is like watching a serious version of the Angry Video Game Nerd vs. the Nostalgia Critic. It definitely beats the Juliet-and-Kate are handcuffed-and-mudwrestling fiasco, though, in my not-very-humble opinion. Sawyer gets Jack in a choke-hold and pants "Will you stop?" and Jack says "No" and Sawyer hits him some more ... and then Juliet, beautiful, blond, clean, angelic Juliet comes up and tells Sawyer to stop. Then she tells him that Jack is right, they have to do this. *jawdrop* NOOOOOOOO! Juliet, I TRUSTED YOU, YOU BITCH!
As Jack limps off in shame, Sawyer asks what changed, seeing as Juliet was the one who MADE HIM COME HERE TO STOP JACK in the first place. Juliet simply says "I changed my mind" which is code for 'The Writers got lazy.'
In a flashback, Juliet and her sister are told that their parents are getting a divorce. Their mother says that sometimes when two people love each other, they aren't necessarily meant to be together. She adds that when they're grownup, they'll understand. Juliet leaps up and yells "I don't want to understand!" I feel some of your pain, honey. *waves a sad flag* Children of divorced parents represent ...
Back in the jungle, Sawyer wants answers. He attests that even if Juliet had told him about her change of mind, he'd have hauled Jack off into the jungle to beat him up. Juliet says that she's glad he got that out of his system. Inwardly she's thinking "Thank god they didn't kiss." Juliet says that she changed her mind when she saw the way Sawyer looked at Kate. Now, honey, from my mother's perspective (being married for a couple years to a man who never looked at other women and assuming she was the luckiest woman on Earth, and not the truth, re: my father is gay), that isn't cause for nerves, it's called 'security.' Juliet tearfully says that if she never meets Sawyer, she never has to loose him, and runs off with Sawyer feeling awful and looking like he needs a hug. He needs a shower first, though. Just sayin'. Juliet, however, is clean enough for me to hug right off! *hugs her*
Swan Station. They're close to the energy. Chang is worried. Phil radios in and tells Rad everything. Rad orders him to send men and guns to defend the Swan Station. Jack and Kate watch from the jungle. They reminisce about when they first officially met and she sewed him up. Jack grins at that. "Seems like a million years ago." "Or thirty years from now." Both, actually, for us, the audience. Kate tells Jack about how she wants Aaron to be with his mom, Jack says that if the bomb goes off what Claire does with Aaron will be her own choice, etc. Alarms at the Swan start going off. Jack asks if Kate's with him. She is. They head off to get the bomb.
Hurley is released from Prison against his will. The desk clerk reminds me of the Coroner from Pushing Daisies. Hurley heads out to the cab station. Jacob's in the cab ... with the Guitar Case Hurley's been toting around for most of this season! Hurley is invited in, gets in, and offers him the fruit rollup. Jacob declines. Hurley thinks that Jacob just got out of jail, but when he hears that Jacob was waiting for him (and calls him 'Hugo') Hurley thinks that Jacob is dead. He's not, but he wants to know why Hurley won't go back to the
Past Present. Van. Hurley gets Sayid some water and tells him "Everything will be fine when Jack changes the past ... or the future. One of those." *sniffles* Hurley, ILU. I say that in every recap, but the sentiment still stands. Sayid says that the bomb is all set and needs to get as close as possible to the electromagnetic stuff. Jack says that if it works, it will save Sayid. Sayid says he can't be saved. *sniffles* Jack heads out, attempting, then thinking better of, a kiss with Kate. He looks like he's heading to Comic Con or something, with the Star Wars like tech sticking out of his backpack and the jumpsuit. Jack passes Juliet and Sawyer on the path. He tells Sawyer "See you in Las Angeles." *headdesk* DON'T DO IT J.J.!
Past Future. Night. Locke and his gang are at the foot, with lit torches. Locke wants to head over to Jacob, despite Richard giving him a chance to give up and wait for Jacob to come to him.
In the background, Sun asks Ben what happened to the rest of the statue. Ben doesn't know, it was like that when he got there. "Do you expect me to believe that?" Sun asks. "Not really," Ben replies. HEEEEEEE!
Locke tells Ben to come along, and he does. Is it just me, or I am the only one who thinks that if I saw three guys who have insane chemistry with each other go off into the dark, my first thought wouldn't be something a bit risque?
Richard balks at Ben being brought along, but Locke bullies him (politely) to allowing Ben to join them. Richard feels out the pedestal (hee hee, pedestal) and opens a wall. Richard tells Locke to say hello to Jacob from him, and leaves. Locke and Ben enter. I think I know where they're headed ... to the weaving room! Locke coaches Ben, looking way too wrapped in shadow for my conscious, and gets Ben to take the knife. Yeesh! DON'T DO IT BEN! YOU'RE ILLUMIATED MORE THAN LOCKE IS RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE IN THE CLEAR, SYMBOLISM-WISE!
The rest of the series regulars (sans Jack) wait around in the Past Present for the bomb to go off while Sayid slowly dies. Miles has just figured out the loophole: Jack is trying to commit what actually happened. The Nuke is the Incident, and not doing a damn thing is what will change everything. Watching everyone's faces here is truly priceless. "I'm glad you all thought this through," Miles snarks in disgust. They spot Phil and some guys driving towards the Swan. Sawyer gives Juliet command, and she says "Live together, die alone" and you can all-but see little hearts breaking inside Sawyer's eyes. *sniffles some more*
People arrive at the Swan. Phil sends people out in a perimeter. Chang is mad: he thinks that they should be getting people away from the Swan Station. I'm with Chang here. I think that the safest place on the
Jack breaks the perimeter and kills more guys. When things look dire, the van dries up and the gang start killing guys too. It's all very dramatic and icky. Sawyer knocks Rad down (HURRAY!) and grabs Phil and gets everyone to drop their guns. Yay? Jack approaches the tunnel. Chang can't shut down the drill, because they've hit the pocket. Jack drops the bomb cannister thing. The music takes over, and everyone closes their eyes and seems to pray, some of them looking like they're kids getting booster shots. And then ... nothing happens. HA HA!
Then the electromagnetism kicks in. Slowly at first, but then horrifically. Like a disaster movie or something. Phil gets his karmic death: HURRAY! Jack gets knocked out by a flying toolbox: hee hee. Dr. Chang gets his hand caught in the scaffolding and is rescued by his son: naaaaw. Juliet gets her legs tangled in chains and dragged towards the pit: YEEK! *will have nightmares about that* Kate, and then Sawyer try to save her, and we have that horrible clinging-to-their-hands, screaming-that-'you-can't-leave-me', crying and screaming and yelling and it's TOO STRONG and then Juliet lets go or slips or something, but she falls. And falls. And almost certainly dies. And Sawyer looses it. And so do I. That was one of the most horrific, heart-wrenching things that I've ever seen, and I've seen a fair few of them.
Present Future. Richard offers Sun some water. She asks if he's got any alcohol. He says no, but he wishes that he did.
The Crate Gang arrive. Illana wants to know which of them is 'Ricardos.' Richard answers and clafifies the name-thing. She asks the 'what lies in the shadow of the statue' thing and Richard answers (presumably correctly) en Espanol, but all I caught was 'you know.' Illana opens the crate and Richard gets the Others to back down. And, sure enough, that IS John Locke. Sun wonders aloud "Then who's in there?" nodding at the Foot. I instantly FREAK. THE. HELL. OUT. Because ... OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!111!!!!!11!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!! Words ... can't describe ... this. That's why Locke has been acting so strange lately. It's not because the
Inside the Foot, Ben and Not!Locke enter, I guessed it, the Weaving Room from the beginning of this episode! Through the smoke hole, they can see up to the Ankle. Ben inspects the Tapestry. Jacob pops up in the corner, in a chair. We can clearly see him now, though. (So, the question is, WHO THE HELL WAS IN THAT CABIN?!) Jacob tells Not!Locke, "Well, I guess you found your loophole." And my mouth drops. Ben looks like he's catching on. Not!Locke says (in an odd-voice) that Jacob has no idea what he's been through to get here. Not!Locke tells Ben to kill Jacob. Jacob tells Ben (in that kind, non-threatening sort of voice) that Ben has a choice. "What choice?" Ben asks, in such a pathetic, puppy-dog kind of way that I want to fall at his feet. These three actors are totally selling the 'God vs. Devil over a Man's Soul' thing going on here. THIS is the great big battle that's over everybody's heads: between Jacob, and Not!Locke. Jesus. Ben starts in on a great speech about how Jacob's been ignoring him, and been so prolific on the
Past Present. Jack wakes up and helps Kate drag Sawyer away from the pit. We see a bunch of stuff dragged into it, and then we pan down and see that Juliet is not dead yet. ULP. She cries at the sheer horrificness of her situation, then sees the bomb. She rolls over, finds a rock, and bangs on it, crying and yelling at it to blow up. And then ... the screen goes white. 'LOST' slowly appears in black, then fades to white as the screen fades to black.
And I officially want to murder J.J. Abrams.
This is aunt_zelda, signing off for a couple of days, saying "There's no such thing as a cracktastic, horrible, cocktease of a fantastical ambiguous mindfucking show, until some dude who did Alias creates it." Have a nice week.
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Date: 2009-05-18 02:58 am (UTC)Also, apparently I am cold and heartless, because the only scene that emotionally affected me (other than leaping out of the chair screaming "WTF?!?" or "CONTINUITY YAY!!") was Sawyer losing Juliet. I teared up there. But the car accident thing... when stuff like that happens really fast on a show, like a car coming out of nowhere (even if I'm waiting for it) or somebody just up and shooting somebody else, my immediate reaction is, awkwardly enough, to just start laughing. Horrible, right?
One thing:
> Jack nicks the patient's ... sack of something, and that means she could be paralyzed for life should he fail to stitch it up. His dad's standing in the background, and he urges him to close his eyes, count to five, and fix the girl. Jack does. Riveting.
It's more continuity! Remember back in one of the very first episodes when Jack and Kate were hiding from "the Monster" and Jack told Kate the story about doing surgery on some girl and nicking some thing and how that was when he learned to count to five? And Kate later uses that technique in her search for Charlie? I only remember it because when Jack's telling the story he says something like "nerves went everywhere... like angel hair pasta..." and that line made me think a little too hard about what nerves like and how much I actually do love angel hair pasta. So it always stuck in my head. When I saw Jack doing surgery in this continuitytastic episode (did you notice "Katie's" little friend in the store was holding a toy airplane?) I immediately knew it would be the angel hair pasta girl... AND IT WAS.
Continuity: Lost has found it.
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Date: 2009-05-18 10:58 am (UTC)Well, everyone was jumping at the same rate ... at least, that was my impression. I think there might be other Red Shirts alive with the Others or hiding in the jungle, or maybe Rose and Bernard are the only ones who made it.
Sawyer loosing Juliet was ... it hurt inside my heart. Just .. NOOOOOOO! *wibbles* That's gonna be hurting me for a long time, I think. Remember when I used to HATE Juilet?
when stuff like that happens really fast on a show, like a car coming out of nowhere (even if I'm waiting for it) or somebody just up and shooting somebody else, my immediate reaction is, awkwardly enough, to just start laughing. Horrible, right?</i Defense mechanism, maybe? It's not an uncommon reaction. Huzzah for continuity! And yeah, I saw the plane! WOOHOO!