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aunt_zeldaAh, my trip was FUN. My feet ache, my clothes are itchy, and my computer is acting very strange indeed (it keeps closing out of things and stuff), but OMG Heroes YAYNESS and I made all these notes and saw all these cool things and lo, it was WONDERFUL. AND I arrived home to packages from amazon.com, including The Arrival which is a book everyone should own in my not-very-humble opinion.
It was really funny when the driver (a very Zen-Master type) yelled “fuck you!” at a semi who cut us off. He also kept making jokes that he was really sleeping at the wheel and telling us to stop being so loud and waking him up. He also kept insisting that another girl was on the trip with us and counting her when we grouped up again. This became so convincing that I half-expected her to clamber up from the back seat yesterday afternoon on the way home when people were naming the other people in the cars outside the windows during a traffic jam.
Oh, and in addition to my legion of weird pairings (Aro/Carlisle, Sha Goyjo/Cho Hakkai, Antonio/Bassanio) I now have yet another: Tolkien/Lewis. They were friends at
Plus, my computer’s being ucky, so watching this episode and typing up this review/recap was a very trying process. Please excuse any typos.
Angels and Demons Monsters
(Oh, come on, you know they had to change the title at the last minute …)
Previously, on Heroes:
Mohinder dragged an abusive boyfriend Sylar-substitute into his den. Daphne stole a formula from Hiro for the Boss Character. Angela is creepy. One of those magical scenes we’re supposed to have believed was shown before but has NEVER aired before this very second. Seriously, producer-people, I’m a slasher, I would remember Claire telling May that the sleepover thing was a ruse to buy ‘some time’ *winkwinknudgenudgeI’ll-be-in-my-bunk* though giving May and Claire more time together would make me forgive almost anything at all.
The Haitian is worried that HRG is replacing him with a younger boyfriend a new partner Sylar, but HRG assures him he’s just biding his time until Sylar can zap him into an adorable four-year-old … I mean, until Spy-Daddy can kill Sylar. Yeah, like the fangirls will ever let THAT happen.
Angela tells her Gabey-boy that he has to learn to control his “urges” and Sylar and his eyebrows look horrified at the prospect of leaving Mohinder unfondled for a whole SEASON. (They don’t know that Mohinder is becoming Molizard, and I really, really, really envy them at this point.)
Future!Gabriel explains to Peter that the ticking-ability also comes with a hungry-hungry-hippos-serial-killers ability as well (what a rip-off deal, I hope he kept the receipt!) and now Peter has the hunger too. No I will not capitalize ‘the hunger’ because it sounds like the title of a lame zombie movie and does not deserve the honor bestowed upon ‘the Roof’ and ‘the Loft’ and even ‘the Virus’ in the show’s past.
Ah, Cylons. Blah blah, Tracey. Some superheroes are made, not born. This is an interesting prospect, but could we learn about it via another venue, one that doesn’t involve heterosexual liaisons? Ok ok, I’d take Molly and Micah conducting research via the interwebs, and yes, Ali Later and Adrian Pasdar are hot stuff, but I watch Torchwood for the sex and Heroes for the stories, not the other way around.
Suspiciously, no Adam. Damnit!
Oh, look, Nathan/Tracey is now canon. I mean, I know it was canon last episode, but now they’ve had sex. What pretty, superpowered children they shall have …
Ooooooo, now Nathan’s doing the voiceovers! He muses on if he’s an angel or a monster (the fangirls are unanimous on this one, dear: you are a godsend) as we go through various shots of the other characters: Shirtless!Peter throwing Sylar up against the wall of his cell (no, that is NOT a prompt for a fanfic …) Claire outside a pawn shop with something that looks like a gun in her hands, Hiro and Ando digging up Adam (YAY!) and Mohinder (still in his cute hoodie) crouched out in the woods somewhere, stalking a new Red-Shirt. Boy, he really goes through relationships fast: Eden, Mira, Peter, Zane!Sylar, Matt, Sylar!Sylar, Maya, last week’s abusive boyfriend … WHERE is domestic!Gabriel!Sylar when you need him?
(P.S. Tracey wore her pearls to bed. Now she’s gonna have weird looking marks around her neck, like a vampire with bad aim and dentures went after her. Hee.)
Nathan opens a lovely stainless steel fridge that my mother would walk over coals to obtain and the title card is on the door. Sweet. He offers some milk (what is it with all the MILK in this season? Are cows sponsoring the show or something?) to Linderman, and they go through their repetitive but STILL engaging dance of you’re-not-real-does-that-bother-you-blah-blah-Gauis-Baltar that manages to entertain me more than the first season of Matt Parkman ever did. I kinda feel bad for Nathan. He’s almost died, like, so many times, and now he’s back to the beginning and though the show’s lost its religious subtitles, all the god-talk has been dumped on him. Luckily he’s very, very pretty and can probably handle the strain of having sex with a Cylon and hanging out with Malcom Fucking McDowell, perhaps grabbing some popcorn to watch the other characters’ storylines vanish down the drain and placing bets on who will be named a Petrelli next.
Mohinder … accosts some drug-dealer. Mohinder, if you become a heroin-addict, I swear to God, Shiva, Odin, and All-Mighty Zeus …
Mohinder says he doesn’t need the guys drugs, he needs him, the dealer himself. Erm … is Mohinder turning into a vampire? Mr. Hyde? A lizard? Who the hell was put in charge of this storyline, and why wasn’t she or he checked in on more often?!
Ok, Peter’s going psycho. He breaks Sylar’s neck (NOOOO!) Then he threatens Angela, demanding her secrets. (Like we all haven’t wanted to do that …) Despite the fact that Angela looks shaken by Dark!Peter, I think he sounds more like Emo!Peter on an angst-high. Seriously, WHERE is Claude when he is needed, petitioned, and prayed for?
Luckily, as Peter beings to slice open his mother’s skull (because there’s nothing like a little matricide to top off … uh, brother-cide … after you inadvertently caused some infanticide) Sylar snaps his neck back into place (EEEEEW, we did not need to see that!) and knocks Peter out. After asking if Angela is ok, Sylar promptly asks if Peter’s going to be alright. Awww? Angela, coming apart at the seams, says that she’ll make sure of it.
HRG arrives and nods at Sylar in a very slashy way, but I’m still refusing to succumb to that pairing, as I’ve staunchly resisted Peter/Nathan and Peter/Claire (since it was revealed that Claire was Peter’s niece) and invites Sylar on a field-trip … erm, ‘mission.’
Rut-row! Everyone’s favorite sitcom: My Two Mommies! Sandra is flipping through files feverishly (yay for alliteration!) and informs Meredith (who’s wearing a tank-top clearly intended to mark her as a ‘skank’) that Claire isn’t answering her cell and that there was no cheerleading sleepover and that Claire must have gone after “one of them.” When Meredith reminds Sandra that Claire can’t get hurt (like, yeah, Sandra doesn’t remember that fact that was established in the first friggin’ episode and SHOW SOME MORE CONCERN FOR YOU OWN FLESH AND BLOOD WOMAN!) Sandra waves a new file in Meredith’s face: some guy who creates vortexes that make people disappear forever (or, ya know, get teleported into the TARDIS …) Meredith realizes the danger and says “we’ll” find Claire, which made me smile, but then she heads out after this other guy, telling Sandra that unless she can do Fire-Palm, she can’t come. I know Sandra doesn’t have magick skilz, but she’s not completely useless. She could drive, or distract, or whip out that gun she threatened Bob with, or produce her invisible son as a human shield! I hope that Meredith at least brought Mr. Muggles as ‘Backup’ (and maybe picked up Elle along the way and brought her home for tea! I mean, Elementals have to stick together, right?)
We segway into a scene in which the Monster of the Week (tee hee) exposiates his family troubles via a phone conversation, then creates a Time Vortex that looks a helluva a lot like the one in the credits of Doctor Who but smaller and grayer.
Then Claire shows up and shoots him with a tazer. Oh, badass, my girl! *applauds* Claire’s donned a black jacket and some dark eyeshadow, and she’s well on her way to becoming FaithFuture!Claire. I have one thing to say to that: SQUEE.
OMG I HAVE WAITED ALMOST TWO WEEKS FOR THIS!!!
Adam is sexy and British and snarky despite having been locked in a coffin for an unspecified number of days. The exchange that follows between him and Hiro (and Ando) is absolutely glorious. Hiro keeps putting Adam back in the coffin, like giving a naughty kid a time-out, and Adam keeps yelling and pounding on the lid in this hysterical manner in the background and Ando keeps telling Hiro not to trust the sexy Englishman and Hiro offering an escape apparatus for his boyfriend if he helps them (oh, come on, the vent-line wasn’t an accident! It’s second only to ‘koi’ in the ‘Hiro/Kensadam is Canon’ Campaign.)
Sadly, Ando doesn’t brain Adam on the head with a shovel like he did in all of those fanfics written last week. Of course, we all know that Adam is really pissed because Hiro brought his other boyfriend instead of, you know, some water, so Ando’s presence isn’t entirely wasted.
Hee. Adam guesses that Angela is the boss-character. He’s totally right, too. Sarcastic guys are always right. Just look at Xander Harris.
Oh yes, Hiro, trust the beerun who just came up with a plan between time-jumps and gasping for air. Were I not a fangirl, and a Kensadam/Hiro fangirl at that, I would admonish you for this glaring act of stupidity. But really, whatever gets Adam out of the ground and into the arms of his beloved carp, be it writer or plot hole or crack-whored-continuity-angel, I will embrace it and buy it a stack of waffles.
Ando looks worried by this development, probably anticipating all the threesome fics my fellow fangirls will be forcing him to participate in. *pats him on the head*
Uh … Linderman trying to recruit Daphne? Is this a flashback, a flashforward, or in the now? When did this turn into Lost, with canon-superpowers? (Walt was magical, guys, and Locke is indestructible, both Thompson and Ethan have the powers of extreme skeeviness … if Ben shows up and reveals that he’s a teleporter, I’m going to go live in a cave.)
It’s revealed that Daphne has the same thing that Nathan does: she can see Linderman, but ‘normal people’ can’t. He gives her a folder, containing the files of Knox and Mohinder (and, we assume, others.) She says they’re some “pretty nasty characters” and that she doesn’t like getting her hands dirty. Linderman says “They’ve merely lost their way. It’s time for us to give them purpose.” Oh god, he just said ‘lost.’ Someone fetch the brain-bleach, this is going to be one long ‘What aunt_zelda Thinks’ …
Now Sylar is eating an apple. Is Heroes trying to make us healthier couch potatoes? I think it’s working … *knaws on apple*
HRG and Sylar bicker like children, or an old married couple. It’s very … cute. Yet another pair I could watch all day long. (See, show, it works like this: toss Elle together with Claire, add Claude to the mix, pick up Peter along the way, and send them on one giant road trip of crime-fighting. Meanwhile, Adam and Hiro and Ando are running around being a hot love triangle of angst. Sylar ‘fixes’ Mohinder and teases HRG about his boyfriends. What do I have to do to get these results?)
Claire, stupidly, has not tied up Vortex-Man or cut off his hands or drugged him. She’s left him on the carpet. Idiot. He pleads with her, and Claire darts between Utto-Face – not exactly having caught herself a Sylar – and Cold Hard Bitch. It’s actually kinda fun. For us, not her … or Vortex-Man.
Mohinder literally drags drug-dealer into his den. (I will not rename the Loft ‘the Den.’ I will not rename the Loft ‘the Den.’ I will not rename the Loft ‘the Den.’ I will not rename the Loft ‘the Den.’ I will not …) He starts to pull his shirt off, which in normal, happier times would be cause for fangirl-celebration, but seeing as he’s developing tectonic plates on his back, it’s cause for fangirl-cringing. When Maya arrives and Mohinder embraces her and her new hairstyle, there’s cause for more fangirl-cringing. She points out one of those flyers that perpetuate TV shows: a person’s missing for like a day and already the family’s putting up perfectly set-up flyers, not the frantic, scotch-taped kind you KNOW that real people would make. At least Jackie Tyler’s flyers looked realistic AND good, but she had a year, so who knows …
Ok, so where did the abusive-boyfriend live? Down the hall from the LOFT, or down the hall from the APARTMENT? Because I’m kinda confuzzled on that point. Last week it looked like the sets were switched around.
GAH, Maya. Where is she getting the money to obtain clothes and makeup? She doesn’t strike me as the type to pilfer from Mohinder’s Obscene Amount of Money (the Road Trip of S1 alone cost a small fortune, guys, the man is loaded. Have you SEEN that apartment?)
Poor Maya. She only comes in once and a while to try and drag Mohinder back to reality, and when she does it’s to see things like expired milk and bloody tracks on the floor. I know that one drug dealer in NYC probably won’t be very missed (except by, ya know, his clientele) but leaving a bloody trail FROM THE SCENE TO YOUR DEN?! Bad move, Molizard, bad move. Even Mr. Hyde wasn’t that stupid.
I miss Mohinder’s old music. This snake-rattle-thing is starting to creep me out.
Oh noes. Just like everyone feared in last week’s heroes_meta, Mohinder wrapped Abusive-Boyfriend in goo and stuck him on the wall. If a gang of little Molizards erupts out of that, I am leaving.
Vortex-Guy figures out that Claire isn’t with the Company because she has no partner (he uses the ‘one of us, one of them’ line) and that she’s not with Linderman’s thing ‘Pinehearst’ or something (they left a business card, ala Wolfram and Hart.) Anything with the prefix or suffix of ‘pine’ that isn’t New
Ok, this Vortex-Guy? His acting is ok, but he lost points when he went right down to the ground and slumped, instead of slowly sinking. Still, good Monster of the Week. He just wants to see his kids and ended up in SuperGuantanamo because he accidentally killed his neighbor over a broken lawnmower. Hee: suburbs are creepy. He says that Claire doesn’t understand and tells her to go. Claire is confuzzled about being let off so easily, instead of fleeing like any normal person. But, as we’re constantly reminded, these people aren’t normal. The normal want to be special, and the special want to be normal. Well, mostly.
Claire says she might be able to help Vortex-Guy. Uh … unless you’ve got Molly stuffed into your pocket, this can only end in tears.
Nathan is trying to impose a suicide-watch on Tracey. She asks if he wants undying gratitude and snarks “Thanks, you’re my hero.” Hee.
Then she admits that she killed someone. She wants to turn herself in. Nathan cautions her against that.
“I can fly, but I can’t talk about it.” Uh … the gay-parallel is starting to irk me.
Tracey says she’ll prove her power by showing, not telling, and Nathan tells his press-conference-shooting-death-God story.
“You think God gave us these powers?” Tracey asks, with just the right amount of skepticism.
“If he didn’t, who did?” Nathan rhetorically asks.
Tracey blinks, and then says “A doctor in
Claire helps Vortex-Man find his family. It’s very cute, but then HRG and Sylar bust in. Vortex-Man thinks that Claire set him up, uses her as a shield, and everyone’s yelling and waving their arms. Vortex-Man tells Claire to hold on to something, creates a vortex, and flees. Much screaming and sucking up of household items. Sylar saves Claire. Much glaring. A great scene of HRG switching from Company man to Protective!Dad and Claire being all ‘he’s just like me and needs help and why are you working with my brain rapist?!’
Eventually HRG gets Claire to say where Vortex-Man went, promising that if he ‘talks’ to V-Man that he’ll know whether to send him to Level 5 or not. Seeing as HRG’s ‘talks’ usually end up with someone pulling a gun on someone else and mostly involve bullets in heads, I’m not too keen on this idea. But Claire said ‘Peachy’ and Sylar’s eyebrows are back, so who cares?
Hee hee hee SQUEE! The first place Adam goes is to a BAR. *drools* He looks damned sexy in it too. Sadly, it is not a gay bar, but it’s the most popular scene for ‘specials for hire.’ Hiro likens it to the Cantina. Fanficers: go wild with this one.
Adam fiddles with Hiro’s tie absentmindedly, gives him up as a lost cause, and says “Try and … look tough.” It’ll take about four and a half years to do that, Mr. Monroe. The Sword and a soulpatch would help, methinks, and maybe a leather jacket for Ando.
*sporfleDIEZ* Hiro tells Ando not to look like Mr. Roboto, and Ando says “This is my tough-guy walk.” Maybe Adam should have done the prep BEFORE they entered the bar? At least there are no superpowered strippers … yet. Ten to one, Barbara’s the barwench …
My suspicion that Adam just wants them to get beat up (really, you can’t blame him, and they’re rather stupid for falling for this one) is confirmed when it’s revealed that he slept with Milosh (the bartenders’s) wife, ducks, and gets Hiro knocked out. Then he flees. Nobody seems to mind, some even grumble about him. Ando desperately tries to get Hiro to blink and freeze time. It’s kinda cute, except that they’re both on the floor of a hostile barroom.
(P.S. ‘Milosh’ is the name of that HUGE Guy they’ve used twice on Heroes: once as the thug who was sent to terrorize Niki, and once as the bigger truck driver whose companion harassed Maya.)
Wow. Nathan’s, Tracey’s, Niki’s, and the elusive Barbara’s abilities were injected into babies. Peter’s in a medically-induced coma. Mama Petrelli is CRUEL.
Maya creeps into the Loft/Den and finds the alien pods. She’s grossed out, but immediately gains my approval by not only attempting to free one of the people but by also finding a decent hiding place and controlling her ability. Of course, then she says that Mohinder is a monster, and Mohinder gets rather upset about that, almost mirroring the image of Sylar moving towards Mohinder and covering the camera in ‘Parasite’ …
This is wrong. So very, VERY wrong. Nothing is right about this storyline, nothing at all.
Yay, a storyline I do like! Hiro and Ando search the alleyway, and Adam crawls out of a garbage bin once they’ve passed. Before he can break into his skip of evil freedom, he’s knocked out by Knox and tossed into a van. HA HA HA. Knox whips out a cellphone and says “It’s done. What do you want me to do about the two Japanese guys?” All of this happens behind Hiro and Ando’s backs. *sighs* Will these boys never learn?
Whooo … *reels* Angela Petrelli … apologizing? Angela Petrelli? Asking for help? Angela Petrelli … providing answers?
*checks Hell to see if Tracey froze it over*
Nathan proposes that he and Tracey go a-questing to ‘Dr. Suresh.’ Guys, he’s not home now. You can leave a message with Mr. Hyde …
Nathan actually refers to Mohinder as ‘harmless.’ Of course, this cuts to a scene in which Mr. Lizard is walling Maya up with goo. Just when she was starting to NOT grate on me … damn you, storyline! (Btw: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!)
GAH, poor Stephen! His family never showed. HRG points a gun at Stephen’s head and tells him that if he makes Sylar (who’s waiting over by the car) disappear, he’ll let him go. Claire is horrified, Sylar squints with his eyebrows, and Stephen starts to cry and HRG yells. Sylar begins to walk towards them … and Stephen opens up a vortex and sucks HIMSELF in, saying “I won’t be a monster!” *wibbles* Claire’s hair flies about, and HRG looks … well, HRG-like.
Back inside the bar, Hiro says that they’re in a slump, and Ando says that they’re “the worst heroes ever.” *sporfles*
Eeeeeheeeeeheeee! Daphne (and her new blue shirt) show up with Knox in tow, unconvinced that Hiro and Ando are looking for mercenary work. “We have changed!” Hiro insists. “We are badasses now!” *falls out of purple swively chair* “Yes, very badass!” Ando adds, trying to look tough.
Daphne proposes a test to prove themselves. Hiro whispers “How do we do that?” Knox asks if he’s the one with the power, Hiro says “Yes, I control time-ando-space” and he waves his hand in an attempt to be dramatic. Knox says ‘cool’ and then grabs a sword from the wall and tosses it to Hiro. “Kill the other one.” HEE! But what’s even funnier is the reaction from the other three: Hiro and Daphne yelp “Kill Ando?!” and Ando yelps something along those lines. It’s simultaneous, VERY cute, and lets the audience know that Daphne is, on the whole, on Hiro and Ando’s side, and that Knox is kind … evil.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
YOU DO NOT KILL UN-SPECIAL ANDO! Adam’s just around the corner, right? You can slit his wrist and save Ando, right?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Show, stop killing out gateway characters!
Hah, Sylar got the backseat and Claire got to ride shotgun. *giggles* This amuses more than it should. While Claire says nothing and stares straight ahead, and HRG tries to make amends, Sylar makes a little speech which is quite good. He says that Claire is finally seeing HRG for what he is: a “user.” Which is a fair point, but still, I don’t know WHO’S in the clear anymore.
HRG follows Claire out of the car, yelping “You’re not going to listen to him, are you? The man’s a deranged sociopath!” This from the man who was kidnapping people and wiping his wife’s memory not five months ago … but I digress. Sylar has this little smirk thing going on, but I’m not sure if it’s an evil ‘ha ha, I played them!’ smirk or a ‘I feel bad for the girl … but I hate her dad’s guts’ smirk.
Awwww, one of those good, old fashioned Claire and her dad scenes. Those were the backbone of S1, I swear ….
Utto! Meredith is being controlled by some freaky guy. Eeeeew! They use those movements you use in that acting exorcise ‘mirror,’ which, you know, is cool, but still …
Oh noes! Angela has a freaky dream in which Nathan and Tracey, and even PETER are dead. Then she turns around and is shocked by the appearance of … some guy whose face we can’t see. We can see his ring, though, and he somehow paralyzes Angela, so I’m betting on Daddy Petrelli … or the Master.
Daphne! Yay! She and Linderman discuss their D&D cell, but she isn’t happy about the Ando-death. She says she’s not a killer. Linderman says it’s all part of making a better world, and says there’s one more person she has to recruit, and he’s gonna be “the most difficult.” He ‘gives’ her a new folder, and this time it’s Matt’s. Uh … hee? Guess that’s one way to meet your future-husband and baby-daddy … (that whole storyline in the future STILL confuzzles me.)
Hee. Daphne is cutely perplexed by the fact that she can’t sneak up on Linderman. She stands up, he stands up, and she swipes the folder RIGHT THROUGH HIS CHEST. “I knew it!” she yelps, jumping a bit. “You’re not really there!” Linderman coldly says that it’s not her concern and tells her to just bring him Matt. “Guess I don’t really have a choice, do I?” she asks, kinda despondent. She zips away, and OMG MAURY PARKMAN steps out of the shadows in a suit. YEEK!
Inside Pine-whatever, Maury reports to a guy in a huge elaborate bed who’s hooked up to wires and tubes and junk. Apparently “the team is coming together nicely” and Maury reports that he messed with Nathan’s head and gave him visions of Linderman. I think there are FAR weirder things to see, personally, and I haven’t even tried acid, but who am I to question the word of OMG FATHER PETRELLI!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!
In a Few Days:
The puppet-guy messes with Claire and Sandra and a gun and probably Meredith too. Mohinder injects Nathan and Tracey with … something that’s probably evil. Peter punches Sylar a whole bunch. Father Petrelli says “The bad guys are here.” Peter meets his dad (oh noes … *headdesk*) Adam stalks down a hallway with Knox, Daphne is in a lineup with some other ‘beeruns.’ We might even see Elle! Hiro … is in
