Kaleidoscope (a Doctor/Jack fic for phoenixjustice's birthday)

[aunt_zelda]

Title: Kaleidoscope

Rating: R … because I can’t write smut to save my life, but here I go, trying to, AGAIN.

Pairings: 1^st Doctor/Jack, 2^nd Doctor/Jack, 3^rd Doctor/Jack, 4^th Doctor/Jack, 5^th Doctor/Jack, 6^th Doctor/Jack, 7^th Doctor/Jack, 8^th Doctor/Jack, one-sided 9^th Doctor/Jack, 10^th Doctor/Jack (Bahahaahha, you weren’t expecting that, were you, PJ-kun?)

Word Count: 3,669 (approximately, I think this is my longest fic ever)

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, the BBC does. I am not English, I wish I was. Captain Jack Harkness is God’s Gift to Slashers, and though I do not own him, I do enjoy his antics.

A/N: this is the first, and probably ONLY time that I have written Doctor/Jack. (I don’t count those silly Doctor/Jack/Peter Petrelli stories I wrote last year.) It’s for

phoenixjustice’s birthday, which was August 5^th, but as I was in The Taming of the Shrew she let me take my time. Smut is not my strong suit, please do not leave mean comments, it took a very VERY long time and I worked VERY hard and yeah, I drop off a lot but that’s just how I roll, blah blah, enjoy if you dare.  

 

(The idea for Six is shamelessly ganked from this: http://superherogirlcat.deviantart.com/art/When-the-Doctors-Meet-27-47057642 and this: http://superherogirlcat.deviantart.com/art/When-the-Doctors-Meet-28-52530908 neither of which I drew.)

 

(Btw, I just found out that I can’t eat jelly babies because they have gelatin in them. DAMN YOU, sticky cow hoof substance, DAMN YOU!)

 

 

Sometimes, during slow-days at Torchwood, or when Ianto wanted some alone time, Jack would accidently-on-purpose run into the Doctor and seduce him.

Of course, neither of his Doctors. After all, Jack wasn’t stupid: meeting with Nine would cause some kind of paradox and probably rupture the universe, and Ten … well, Jack viewed that as a work-in-progress. Ten wouldn’t be overcome by a single night of passion, he’d need to be won over after a long, exhausting campaign.

Much like Ianto, in that respect, but with the Tenth Doctor, Jack had the feeling that ‘conquest’ as it were, would take much, much longer than Ianto had.  

 

~*~

 

After months of fiddling with the small piece of TARDIS coral that had appeared ‘mysteriously’ on his desk ages ago and junk from the ‘unclassified’ drawer that had been untouched since Tosh died, Jack eventually rigged up a sort of short-range device that was an upgrade from his wristband, but nowhere near as sophisticated at the Doctor’s TARDIS.

He landed in a semi-respectable spaceport somewhere in the 42^nd century and wandered around until he came across the familiar sight of the Doctor’s TARDIS. It looked newer and shinier than the one Jack was used to. Either the Doctor had taken the TARDIS to a body-shop, or this was an earlier Doctor.

Jack meandered around the spaceport for a while, trying to get the hang of his new Doctor-detector. The Doctor’s mind was bonded with the TARDIS, and Jack had a piece of the TARDIS, so when it glowed he was close to one or the other, but the device was still working out kinks on its own. Apparently he was near the ‘First’ Doctor. Jack wondered

Eventually he ducked into a bar and made his way towards the young man his Doctor-detector was pointing to.

The First Doctor looked very young, younger than Ten, though his hair was white and so long it had been tied back into a ponytail. He was dressed in a plain but expensive-looking black suit, with a bright orange waistcoat. The Doctor was grinning in a reckless, carefree manner, gazing around the dimly-lit, smoky bar like he was a tourist visiting the Louvre for the first time.

Casually, Jack slipped his device into his pocket, sat down next to the First, and ordered two drinks, handing one to the Doctor.

The First never asked Jack’s name. The newly-renegade Time Lord had been feeling reckless even before Jack bought him round after round of drinks, and what he lacked in experience, he more than made up for with enthusiasm.

 

~*~

 

When Jack saw the sort company the Second Doctor was keeping, his head almost spun around in shock and approval: a girl in a skintight body-stocking, and a guy in a kilt. If there’d been a busty blond in the mix, Jack would have left Torchwood and married the Second Doctor, paradoxes be damned!

Still, as alluring and exciting as Two’s companions were, they tended to take up the Doctor’s attention, and Jack didn’t fancy mucking up a family set-up, so he watched from afar, and waited

Jack had gone on a solo-mission to the Himalayas while Gwen took the week off with Rhys and Ianto held the fort with Myfanwy.

It was bitter cold and very lonely. The locals kept to themselves and the rumored aliens he was hunting did not reveal themselves in a timely fashion.

A rather violent storm trapped Jack in a cave for a few hours on the third day of the mission. Just as he was beginning to drift off to sleep, a loud roar and the sound of running feet caused Jack to stagger upright and eye the dark depths of the cave with trepidation.

A short, black-haired man in a fur coat was racing towards him, waving his arms wildly.

“Yeti! Run for your life!” he cried, zooming past Jack.

Jack peered into the darkness. A ferocious roar (louder this time) echoed out of the black depths.

Two had skidded to a halt at the mouth of the cave. It was blocked with snow. “Drat!” he turned around and stared at Jack. “Well, don’t just stand there, help me!”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Help you with what?”

“That!” the Doctor pointed down at the tunnel, hopping up and down in desperation.

A hairy beast (and not Jack’s preferred kind, either) with huge teeth and long claws was lumbering towards them. It threw back its head and let out an ear-splitting roar.

Jack flung a bowie-knife at the Yeti’s exposed throat at the exact same instant as the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver. Blinding blue light filled the cave, Jack fell backwards with his hands over his eyes, the Yeti roared one last time …

… and all was silent.

Jack staggered to his feet once again.

The Yeti lay dead on the floor of the cave, blood gushing from its throat, smoke rising from its ears.

Jack turned to the Second Doctor, who was staring at him.

“You fried its brain?”

The Doctor looked slightly affronted. “Well, I had no idea what you were going to do … you seemed rather useless two minutes ago. Some sort of lost adventurer without a clue …”

Now it was Jack’s turn to look slightly affronted. “I was investigating reports of alien-sightings in this region, until the storm trapped me in here.”

The Doctor smiled apologetically. “I am sorry, but one doesn’t have time to do more than judge the book by its cover when one is fleeing a rouge Yeti,” he nodded at the corpse. “Well, we’re stuck here for at least another day with that thing, what do you suggest?”

Jack eyed the Yeti and shrugged. “I’ve eaten weirder things.”

Once the Doctor got a fire going they roasted bits of the Yeti and took swigs from Jack’s flask. Jack found it rather enjoyable, relaxing in the brightly-lit cave, swapping stories with the humorous ‘traveler.’

As before, it was the Doctor who brought up the possibility of some ‘fun.’

“Got a girlfriend, back at your … Torchwood?” he asked, eyeing Jack with ill-disguised hope.

Jack shrugged. “Boyfriend, actually …” when Two’s face fell, he added “he’s very … understanding.”

“How so?” Two cocked his head to the side.

“Well …” Jack sat up and stretched a bit. “He doesn’t mind that, occasionally, my 51^st-century habits get the better of me and I … cheat.”

Two straightened up. “Are you saying …?”

Jack smiled. “Only if you want to, Mr. Short, Dark, and Handsome.”

Jack learned two things that night: a Yeti-fur-coat made a very comfortable substitute for a bed, and height was no indicator of a man’s size.

 

~*~

 

A few weeks after Christmas (dull, wet January when nothing was going on with the Rift) Jack jumped backwards thirty-odd years to UNIT headquarters. Since he was technically still on Torchwood’s register he was allowed access to UNIT’s inner-sanctum, if grudgingly. Some of the staff made snide comments, especially about the nature of inter-office relationships at Torchwood. Jack flashed them cheery smiles, comforted by the fact that most of them would be ugly and old in his time, if not dead.

Following his Doctor-detector (this was the Third Doctor, apparently) Jack ended up in a backroom rather off the beaten path.

He was surprised to see the TARDIS in a corner of the room (looking dusty and dejected) and guessed that it had been disabled by the Time Lords. He’d read something about that once.

Whilst looking over the trinkets and scientific junk that littered the tables and desks.

“Are you lost, young man?”

Jack jumped about a foot in the air and turned around.

A man with white, fluffy hair and a lacy shirt stood in the doorway, eyeing Jack with a sort of casual interest.

“Ah, no, not lost, I’m from Torchwood.” Jack held up his clearance pass and gave the man a hopeful sort of smile.

The mention of Torchwood seemed to confirm something to the man, who snorted and strode forward, eyes combing over the table Jack was standing in front of.

“I hope you weren’t stupid enough to touch anything, several of these objects are rather dangerous.”

“Well, if you count that artifact,” Jack pointed to a triangular piece of metal. “Seventeen of these things could explode if touched in the right manner.”

The man glanced at Jack with a renewed degree of interest. “Seventeen?” he repeated.

Jack scanned the table once more. “Yeah, seventeen … well, we’re not counting the one you just added while I was preoccupied with your hand on my ass, were we?”

The man grinned. “So … the stories about Torchwood are true …”

Jack laughed, kicking back into the only empty chair in the room. “Don’t believe everything you hear, gramps, I know for a fact that there are male employees at Torchwood One who have no interest in other guys.”

“How are you so sure?” the man asked, not sitting down, but taking up a position between the table and Jack.

“They rejected my advances.” Jack said simply, and while the man laughed he checked his Doctor-detector. Ah, so this was the Third Doctor …

“You seem overly confident.” Three finally interjected. He’d either missed Jack checking his device or didn’t find it worrisome.

Jack wriggled out of his jacket. “Wanna experience why?”

Three looked slightly taken aback, considered Jack for a while, then shrugged, “Why not?”

He and Jack kissed for a few minutes, the Jack pulled back. A thought had occurred to him. “Wait … are you just bored?”

Three laughed. “Not any more, I’m not.”

Well, that was good enough for Jack. He swept a table clean, harmless gadgets clattering to the floor, and laid back on it, pulling Three down onto him.

It was interesting, to say the least, to experience this Doctor. He looked old, but he hadn’t been in this body for very long, and though he was older than the previous regenerations Jack had slept with, he was substantially younger than either of ‘Jack’s’ Doctors.

Three was an oxymoron. A non-threatening paradox.

Jack gulped: Three was also, apparently, no stranger to quick flings with strangers.

Eventually they came so close to rolling off of the table that they stood up and began stripping, though Jack’s fingers were never off of the Doctor for more than a few seconds.

“I should reverse the polarity of the neutron – augh – flow.” Three fell backwards and knocked something over.

Jack continued to pull the Doctor’s clothing off. “What does that even mean?” he gasped out, clumsily unbuttoning his owns shirt.

“In this case … turn off the lights.”

 

~*~

 

“Jelly baby?”

Jack raised an eyebrow and eyed the proffered bag. With a shrug he took a few of the candies, popped them into his mouth, and began chewing. They were quite tasty.

“These had better not be drugged,” he muttered darkly between swallows. “Or I’ll track you down and tie you up with that scarf of yours, see if I don’t …”

The Fourth Doctor threw back his head and laughed. “You can practice right now, if you like,” he said, grinning in a rather maniacal fashion.

Jack glanced around. They were in a warmly-lit tea house during the third Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Women in beaded skirts flounced past, shaking their hips in a purposely suggestive manner. The customers (mostly wealthy men) sat on the floor around small tables, sipping tea and eyeing the waitresses.

“There are rooms upstairs … if you’ve got the money.”

The Doctor chuckled. “Making me pay, are we? Doesn’t that make you the woman in this situation?”

Jack chuckled with him. “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself, tiger?”

The Doctor crossed his arms and pretended to think it over. “Since I paid for the room five seconds after you walked through the door …” his expression returned to one of carefree amusement, “then … no. I don’t think I’m getting ahead of myself at all.”

He stood up and offered Jack his arm. Jack mimed a curtsy and took it, laughing all the way up the staircase.

 

~*~

 

Jack hadn’t even been looking for a version of the Doctor. He’d heard about the party (hallucinogenic drugs, drinks so strong they were known to knock you flat on your back, and more than enough easy women, men and aliens to go around) and decided to check it out. He’d been in a funk of late, watching Ianto sigh with longing as he watched Gwen and Rhys watching their children skip off to school.

Jack had been rummaging around in his pockets for a condom of some kind and pulled out his Doctor-detector by mistake. It flashed the digit ‘5’ and blinked insistently as a blond man in a cricketer’s outfit was shoved out of a doorway.

“Well I am sorry!” the blond man roared, slurring his words slightly. “But you can’t misquote Voltaire and expect me to ignore you!”

Jack checked his detector again. It flashed ‘5’ once more and flickered into ‘low battery.’ Jack hastily stowed it into his pocket as the Fifth Doctor took a few unsteady steps past him, pivoted on the spot, and fell into Jack’s waiting arms.

Grinning at his leering fellow partygoers, Jack half-carried, half-dragged Five into the nearest empty bedroom. He heaved the Doctor onto the bed, shutting the door and muting the noise of the party.

When he turned back to the bed, the Doctor’s eyes were wide open, and there was nothing delirious or intoxicated about him.

“Who are you?”

Jack leaned against the door, rubbing his forehead. “John Smith … and who are you?”

Caught without his usual alias, the Doctor floundered momentarily. “Er … um … that is to say …”

Jack crawled onto the bed and cut off Five’s stutterings with a kiss. Five’s head went back, rolling around and around, rocking backwards and forwards and ultimately giving Jack the longest kiss of his life. Jack tangled his fingers in the Doctor’s beautiful blond hair and dragged him down onto the bed, lips still locked resolutely against the Doctor’s.

The door creaked open, but neither Jack nor Five noticed.

 

~*~

 

“Wow … I really like that coat ...”

“…?!”

 

~*~

 

“You’re quite certain that you’re not after Ace?”

Jack sighed. “No, I am not interested in having sexual relations with your Companion.” He’d said it half a dozen times already, but this Doctor was proving more protective of his young Companion than the Fifth had been of his celery stick.

The Doctor eyed him once more. “Have we met before …?”

Jack dove forward and shoved the Doctor into the nearest wall, cutting off his questions with a rather insistent kiss.    

It was a while before this one gave in and let his leg arch up around Jack’s waist. Jack had pegged him for the reluctant type and smirked, because the Seventh hadn’t taken as long as the Third. He’d never thought about it, but maybe Ten snogged so many girls because he was progressing into the Gallifreyan equivalent of a dirty old man.

The Doctor feverishly tossed his hat off to the side and began dragging his fingers through Jack’s hair as he kissed the smirking captain back.

A none-too-delicate-cough echoed through the console room.

Jack and the Doctor stopped kissing, but Jack wouldn’t let them completely detach.

A girl in a black leather jacket stood in the doorway: one eyebrow raised, the Doctor’s hat in her hands.

After giving the Doctor a long, hard look, she snickered and, winking at Jack, said “Go easy on the Professor, would you? He breaks easy …” and she plunked the Doctor’s hat down upon her head and sauntered off, whistling rather tunelessly.  

“You know …” Jack murmured, idly sliding a hand down the Doctor’s trousers. “Later on, I might actually try her on for size …”

“I’d kill you.” the Doctor hissed, pulling Jack’s jacket off and letting it fall to the floor.

“Is that a promise, Professor?” Jack wiggled his eyebrows.

“Don’t call me that …” the Doctor groaned, rolling his head back and staring at the ceiling as Jack began to sink to his knees.

“Whatever you say … Doctor.” Jack unzipped the Doctor’s trousers with a single deft movement. “Doctor …”

The Doctor made a noise that sounded suspiciously like ‘gah!’ and dug his fingernails into Jack’s scalp.

“Doctor …” Jack grinned, eyes watering, and leaned forward.

When Seven finally came, he held back his cries, muffling them into his free hand.

Jack stood up, shaking his head. “Oh no, you don’t get off that easy …”

“Give me … a name …” the Doctor gasped, leaning against the wall for support. “Preferably … yours …”

As delectable as the idea of this formally-straight-laced Doctor screaming out his name was, Jack couldn’t risk it.

“And ruin the pleasure for your future self?” Jack pouted. “I couldn’t do that to him.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “I’m not especially … concerned about … future-me right now …”

Jack shrugged. “Then I’ll have to be the responsible adult …” he gave an overly-dramatic sigh and let the Doctor shove him over the TARDIS console.

Soon all thoughts of Ace had completely vacated Jack’s mind.

 

~*~

 

The Eighth Doctor was, by far, Jack’s favorite. He was easy-going, devilishly handsome, game for anything, and in love with the universe in general. Eight hugged and kissed strangers even more readily than Ten, and, for some reason, he was attracted to Jack.

The knowledge that this smiling, green-jacketed, downright lovely person would soon blow up his entire race and transform into the scowling, distrustful, lonely Ninth was so horrible that Jack spent a lot of time simply hugging Eight close.

His time with Eight wasn’t like the sweaty, lustful, one-night stands that Jack had spent with the previous seven Doctors. He spent an entire month with Eight.

One night, Jack came dangerously close to giving Eight his name.

The next morning, he kissed the sleeping Doctor, and left.

It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

 

~*~

 

Jack had never really gotten over the Ninth Doctor. Sure, he’d been blasé about the Doctor’s regeneration when he found out about it years later, but inside he’d been horrified. A whole different man was parading around with the Doctor Jack had known rattling around inside of him. It had been rather jarring, even though he’d considered the possibility when he’s launched himself at the TARDIS in Cardiff.

Well, the fact that the new Doctor was sexy-cute instead of gritty-sexy-sometimes-cute helped Jack warm up to Ten, but he was still always going to miss Nine.

For years, decades, centuries even, he’d dreamed of taking that goodbye-kiss several steps further. Jack had the feeling that, given time, the Ninth would have returned his advances. They’d both been two lonely, free-thinking guys, after all, and Rose had always too busy trying to sort out her feelings to make a serious move on either of them.

Nine was a lost dream, a closed case, a locked safe to which Jack had lost the key.

Rose had saved Nine, and enabled him to move on from the Time War and regenerate into a new mind.

And deep down, Jack knew that he couldn’t have done that. Not then, and maybe not even now.

 

~*~

 

Jack blinked at the bright blue light. He was lying in a filthy alley in a dirty spaceport in some far-flung world in a half-forgotten system.

He’d known, somewhere deep inside, that the Doctor would find him.

“Oh, Jack …”

Jack inwardly sighed with relief. The Doctor was still Ten. He hadn’t missed another one.

“Jack … Jack, why did you loose yourself like this?”

Jack raised his head and squinted in the bright blue light from the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver. “Torchwood Three.” he whispered.

He saw the Doctor’s reaction: the horror, the regret, the comprehension, and finally, pity.

“It wasn’t –”

“It was my fault, Doctor, and don’t you dare try to tell me otherwise.”

Jack’s eyes were adjusting to the light. He could see the Doctor shifting from foot to foot, glancing up and down the alley, a crease appearing between his eyes.

“I’ve remembered,” Ten said at last, looking down at Jack again.

Jack stared up at him and sighed. “Remembered what?”

The Doctor knelt down in front of him. “Remembered you. Soon after I left Gallifrey … that Yeti in the Himalayas … a usual dull day at UNIT that completely turned around … that month,” the Doctor’s voice caught, “that month, on Sto … and … and that day when you met Ace … and when you said you liked my coat and … me offering you jelly babies and ending up tied up with my own scarf … and that party …”

Jack lowered his head. “I couldn’t … you wouldn’t … I had to … I wanted you but …” he looked up and met the Doctor’s eyes. “I had you, but I never had you.”

There was a long stretch of silence.

The Doctor reached out towards Jack, but Jack flinched away.

“Don’t …” Jack coughed violently, then began again “Don’t tease me, Doctor.”

The Doctor reached out again, one hand clutching Jack’s shoulder, the other tilting Jack’s chin up. “I’m not teasing you, Jack.”

The kiss was something that both rushed into: Jack lapping hungrily, fingers tangling into the Doctor’s graying hair; the Doctor, slower and steadier, leaning into Jack gradually, hugging the man closer and closer.

The Doctor broke the kiss. Jack would have held on for dear life and prolonged it for every second he could manage, but he was too weak. He slumped backwards against the alley wall, watching the Doctor stand up and run a hand through his already messy hair.

There was another long stretch of silence.

The Doctor held out his hand …

… and Jack took it.

 

Comments

[lesmisloony.livejournal.com]

Haha, WHOA. I can't believe that you made that seem so plausible! I definitely shy away from things like Doctor/Jack, but the really worked. And you even did One and Three sexxins! I feel I must now bow to your brilliance. *does so*

[elaine-miles.livejournal.com]

I have to mem this. Can I mem this? It's totally brillant. :D Perfect start to the day.

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

You certainly can! Thank you so very much! You COMMENT is a perfect way to start the day!

[elaine-miles.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D

[phoenixjustice.livejournal.com]

Oh! OH MY! And this was for ME! jifshsdjkfjsdkfjhsd1!!!! *super huggles* This was absolutely amazing, Zel-chan, I can't begin to thank you! And no, I did NOT expect that, with all the different doctors but it was beyond awesome. You absolutely captured Jack with each incarnation of the doctor wonderfully. The Jack/Eight made me go 'aww', because Jack was so sad to leave him. But every incarnation was definitely wonderful in each of their own way, absolutely! It was wonderful, FANTASTIC! LOVED it! <33333333333333333333333333333

(...but this Doctor was proving more protective of his young Companion than the Fifth had been of his celery stick.) XD

<333333333333333'd this! =D =D =D Thank you so much!!!

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

*grinz* You are most welcome, PJ-kun! That was a blast to write, but Doctor/Jack really is just not my cup of tea. It was fun to try, though, and I really pulled out all the stops for you!

Eight never ceases to break my heart. He deserved the Jack we see with Ianto.

I had trouble with certain doctors, but DW wiki is very helpful.

*huggles you back* Huzzah for joy!

(P.S., how is episode 2 coming?)

[aussievamp.livejournal.com]

... *In awe* That was brilliant.
And I'm sorry, but of all ther reli beautiful biys in it, my favourite was thinking of ten as a dirty old man. I actually laughed out loud. I gor weird looks. Hehe. :D
LOVE

[aunt-zelda.livejournal.com]

*is in awe that I made YOU in awe* You, of all writers! *is floored*

And I'm sorry, but of all ther reli beautiful biys in it, my favourite was thinking of ten as a dirty old man. I actually laughed out loud. I gor weird looks. Hehe. :D
That's perfectly ok! (I mean, considering how old he really is, he probably IS turning into a dirty old man. Think about it.) Sorry you got weird looks!

Thank you for reading and commenting!

[aussievamp.livejournal.com]

"You, of all writers! *is floored*" I'm... feeling all warm and fuzzy now. Yay. *huggle*

Ten is a dirty old man I'll take home any day, y/y? Lol. *considering I'm a huge hit with the over fifties crowd for a reason I don't want to specualte on...*

Thank you for writing it, my dear. Spesh if it's not ur cup of tea. It's evidently your biscuit.