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aunt_zeldaAiiiii! My dad had a successful second date! He's very happy! I'm going to watch some Buffy now!
ARGH on the Lost-front!
Previoulsy on Lost: the Island will be torched. The Island will be moved. Keamy is craaaaaazy and held a really lame mutiny. Locke has a boyfriend. Claire is on drugs (hypocryite! What would Chahley say to that?) Jack misinterprets Pilot's message as 'follow us' not 'run like hell and hide from the crazy people who want to KEEL you!'
I want to know where the Indestructable, one-eyed Russian is. I miss him so. Maybe he's been keeping Charley prisoner in his underwater kingdom all year! *heartened by this idea, then disgusted, then intrigued*
In a flash-forward, a pilot rubs a rabbit foot, not realizing that 'rabit feet' generally marketed to the public are usually the front paws, not technical 'feet' at all. He's nervous and calls the Ocean 6 (who are in the back of the aircraft carrier he's helping to fly) 'bad mojo.'
A woman in a suit goes back and informs the Oceanic 6 (Jack, Sun, Sayid, Hurley, Kate n' Aaron) that they don't need to speak to the press on the private military facility they're about to land on. The facility is just outside of Hondalulu, which means the Oceanic 6 haven't gotten very far from the Island AT ALL.
Jack speaks for the group and says they want to get the speaking to the press over with. The woman informs them of the 'catchy' title they've been given, which I think is better than 'The Lying Liars Who Lie' which is what they ARE.
Once Oceanic-Lady is gone, Jack tries to enhearten his troops by going over the plan and saying everyone will just think they (the O6) are in shock. Sun says "We are in shock, Jack."
The carrier lands to soft, sad piano music generally played at funerals. Aaron makes little noises at being on land that isn't the Island.
I notice the number on the side of the plane and sigh because 'The Numbers' stopped a long, long time ago. Sayid looks damn fine in a suit. Yes, I'm aware that I have ADHD when I watch TV ...
Then there's this awesome, tear-jerking scene in which the O6 get off the plane and are greated by their families in a silent scene with very emotional music. Hurley's mom and dad are there, and when he sees Sayid hasn't got nobody to love, he drags him over and Sayid is hugged by Hurley's mom, which nearly got me to cry. Jack's mom hugs him. Sun's mom embraces her and her dad looks on, probably happy Jin is either dead or on the Island with rampant homosexuals.
Kate n' Aaron ain't got nobody to love either. Which is sad indeed.
Rose tries to reacap for everyone and wonders why 'they' dropped the 'thingamabob' on the Jackalopes' heads. Sadly nobody brings up the possibility that the folks in the chopper are there to KEEL everyone and plant Charles Whitmore's flag in the soil. (I imagine Charles Whitmore tried the flag thing before, when the Others were 'the Hostiles' and it went something like this Eddie Izzard sketch:http://youtube.com/watch?v=uEx5G-GOS1k but of course that's just me having way to much fun on an overactive brain.)
Isn't 'The Orchid' one of the Dharma stations? I can't remember them all ... there's the Hatch, the Observation Hatch, the-one-with-the-cages, the Hydra (with the shark tank they kept Jack in ... hee hee), the Looking Glass that held Charlie's Angels, and ... OH YEAH! The Orchid was the one in the Easter Egg on the S3 DVDs! With the bunnies and junk!
Anyhoddle, Jack and Kate prepare to take off into the jungle and track the Chopper-crew, Juliet tells Jack he's stupid for running about with stitches, but he is Jack! The Leader! The Doctor! He can do NO wrong! He will get the girl and vanquish Sawyer and SAVE EVERYONE because he! Is! Jack! The Shepard! (How about all those Red Shirts who've died since getting to the Island? Has anyone kept a tally? That'd be good of someone to do ... there was the girl who drowned, and the FIRST Pilot and ... seriously, I should re-watch all the seasons and keep a tally.)
Danny-boy knows what the Orchid is! He flips through his fan-magazine ... I mean, his journal, and finds a doodle of a Dharma sign whose logo is a whale tail spinning into a whirlpool, or at least, that's what it looks like to ME. To YOU, it might be some kind of Nazi-Code (Goodwin's law!) or a hypnotizing trick or a design we saw on a dress Kate lent to Rose in a flashback in Season 26.
"You know when most people are lying they can't look you in the eye ... you do the exact opposite." Hee hee, Jack's a bad boy ... unfortunately, not as bad as Sawyer, and not bad enough for Kate. Have I mentioned my slightly-frightening girl-crush on Evangaline Lily?
Sawyer emerges from the underbrush carrying Aaron, upping his hotness by ... a lot, because men being fatherly is ridiculously cute. He calls Miles 'Genghis' which is one the best and worst nickname yet. It also makes me draw the line between the two shows I'm watching and declare Sawyer to be Donna's-long-lost-cousin. It's only a matter of time before Donna convinces the Doctor to break the fourth-wall and save her relative.
I wish we could have seen bits of Sawyer and Miles looking for Claire all day. Really, I have the feeling that Sawyer threatened to shoot Miles at least three times, Miles wasn't at all reluctant in the search because he thinks Claire is hot, and there was a tusle of HoYay proportions over a gun whilst Aaron slept nearby.
Write the fanfic, girls, you know you want to ...
Sawyer refers to the Baracks as 'New Otherton.' Yes I'll quote every funny thing he says, try and stop me! *brandishes my long-forgotten katana*
Jack and Sawyer have one of their arguments about who can be more macho and who's really in charge. It's really stupid, and Sawyer calls Jack a 'broken record' for going on and on about getting off the Island. If there wasn't the problem about having kids, I'd advise everyone to stay put on the Island because from what we've seen, not many people have nice things to go back to. Perhaps they were put on the Island for a reason, a second chance, you could say, to work out their problems and such. They did that for a while, then the stupid Others and the Dharma crap and scary Charles Whitmore had to come along and ruin what this show was about (if it was about anything at all.)
Jack strides out after the chopper and tells Kate (not unkindly) to look after the baby. Sawyer strides after Jack, sarcastically insisting he doesn't get to 'die alone.'
In a flashforward Oceanic Lady spins a harrowing tale of how the O6 survived for 100-odd days. (Please let it be 108, PLEASE let it be 108 ... has the show really only been 108 days? WOW ...) There's a picture (I'll bet my backgammom set it was staged) that a 'local fisherman' took of the O6 yanking a raft up a beach.
There are some questions, in which we find out Hurley doesn't want his money and calls it 'bad luck' and that Sun claims Jin never made it off the plane.
Later on, Oceanic Lady holds Sayid back and says there's a woman to see him. Then she states Nadia's name, which I'd butcher, so suffice to say it is SO Nadia outside. Sayid whispers her name a few times as his sad-theme-music plays, and then they have this amazingly tentative and awkward kiss that ... ok, I can't hold it in any longer, I cried. Yes, I cried. Not 'Doomsday' tears, not 'Titantic' tears, and definately not 'Gone with the Wind' tears, but my eyes got really wet and my throat closed up and I made whimpering noises. Because really, she dies in like two weeks and Sayid becomesBen's bitch a tortured James Bond the Doctor and two weeks is not enough time for two people who've been trying to get to each other for years and Nadia was the one thing that kept Sayid going for a long time.
*still wibbling* Can I have a hug? Please? *gulps frantically because I feel like I'm gonna cry again*
Sayid lands the boat on the beach, looking all kinds of hot, and gets right to the point. Des is okhe checked every inch of that hot Scottish Time Lord. Sayid is going to start ferrying people, six at a time, to the Big Boat, because the people on the chopper are craaaaazy and wanna kill all the Losties, Jackolpes, Red Shirts, A-Teams, Crazies, Others, and secondary characters. Juliet tells Sayid Jack and Kate 'just' ran after the chopper. Juliet, they didn't 'just' they ran after it when it was still dark. You're making it sound as though they can be caught up to by a fast runner. Why does that matter to Sayid? It just means there's a greater probability that more Red Shirts will survive (from an Islandian's perspective, 'cause they haven't seen the flash-forwards.)
Yay! The Locke/Ben and Hurley show! *dances* Hurley pesters Ben (who has a gun. Good lord, in a few short weeks this man has gone from tied-up to in-charge to tied-up to in-charge to Locke's boyfriend, usually changing his status by episode.) about where they're going (the Orchid) what that is (it's a greenhouse) why are they going there (to move the Island like Locke said) why didn't Ben do that before the crazies with guns showed up (because it's a dangerous and unpredictable process, like raising the dead.)
Ben unearths a crate from under some rocks that looks like the Vessel from Reaper. OMG Ben's a Reaper AND the Master?!
Locke looks through it, passing Hurley a Dharma tin that contains some saltines, which Hurley eats. A few minutes later Ben condescendingly says the crackers are 15 years old. *sporfles* Ben uses a mirror to communicate with the Others (who we haven't seen in WAY TOO LONG, PEOPLE! I want Richard and the kids and the Stewardess and the Other Red Shirts!)
When Locke asks what Ben just 'said' (bet you wish Bernard, aka Mr. Morse Code, was there, eh?) Ben tells him it's none of his business.
Here follows MY translation of the mirror-lingo (which I'm sure hardcore fans will literally translate, but here's what I think transpired.)
Ben: John and I are an item!
Other: OMG! Where r u?
Ben: Past 2nd base!
Other: OMG! Do you have fangirls?
Ben: You'd better believe it.
Other: Be safe.
Ben: U mean the fangirls or condoms?
Other: Lol both.
Ben: lol, TTFN!
... oh come on, you know you wanna believe it! (Personally I think they've gone WAY past 2nd base, if ya know what I mean, but really, who's among you isn't a Ben/Locke shipper?)
Danny-boy offers to ferry people to the Big Boat. Sayid agrees and prepares to take off after Jack and Kate, giving us a view of Echo and Charlie'ssymbol of love failed attempt at a Church.
Kate hands Aaron over to Sun and goes off to lead Sayid to Jack. The Raft takes off with several Red Shirts, Jin and Sun, Aaron, and Danny-boy. The look of surpressed-love that Red is giving Danny-boy makes me fear for Danny-boy's life, but because they didn't kiss I think Danny-boy might make it.
In the Raft, Aaron stares up at Sun in confusion. He has so many mommies it's hard for the little guy to keep track.
In a flashforward, Sun goes all badass on her father. She bought a controlling share in his Company, so now he's gotta respect her. She accuses him (rightly) of ruining Jin's life and being one of the two people responsible for Jin's death, and that after she has her baby she and her father will discuss 'their' company. Sun is sixteen kinds of badass and looking damn hot too. YOU GO GIRL! *punches the air*
(Also, Sun walked in on her father discussing something bad with some of his employees. Apparently whoever 'did it' used 'five different banks' which makes me suspect Ben. Ben and Sayid, that is. Tee hee.)
Hurley drives his junky car up to his awesome house. Inside he heards suspicous noises and finds a coconut on the floor. He grabs the golden Jesus and pushes open a door, to find a surprise b-day party. Hurley's family? Hold surprise birthday parties AFTER the survival-instincts wear off, mmmkay?
Hurley's mommy reprimands him for preparing to use Jesus as a weapon. (At least Hurley wasn't hiding HEROIN in him.) And, again, SURVIVAL INSTINCTS, people! You let people who've had a serious shock (especially the ones who have a past of mental illness) take it easy for a while.
This has clearly not happened, seeing as Nadia is still alive and Aaron is still a tiny baby (in a Hawiann shirt, tee hee!), so people really weren't thinking when they invited a large crowd around Hurley and shocked him.
Sayid says the theme of Hawaian island is 'interesting' and Hurley admits his mom 'doesn't get it.' Hurley's obnoxious dad takes this oppertunity to pop in and ask if they were talking about starting fires and hunting boars. There's only one boor around here, dude, and it doesn't have tusks.
Hurley's dad fixed the Camaro (Camaro, right? It's one of those guy-cars ...) which is a symbol of his relationship with his son. It makes me smile, like Hurley refusing to stay and fix it last season in a flashback made me cry. (Hurley's dad's keychain has a rabbit-front-paw on it.)
HOHMYGOD the NUMBERS! THE NUMBERS ARE BACK! YAAAAAAAAY some rhyme and reason to the show! YAAAAAAAAAY!
Of course, Hurley's reaction to seeing the Numbersis to run away as if he's beeing chased by the Monster, so it's really very sad. But the Numbers are back. YAY! *does a dance of relief*
Hurley badgers Ben about moving the Island some more. (Good lord people, it's the finale, speed things up!) He asks if moving the Island will move the 'dudes with guns' with it too. Apparently it will. Hurley asks a retorical question about that being a problem (there are no problems, only challenges, Hurley!) Ben says he's working on that. Hurley wants to get off this ride. Locke says it's too late for that.
"I wasn't being entirely truthful."
Locke snorts. "Yeah, when are you ever entirely truthful?"in bed, or, more accurately, in camp, you moron.
The craazy killers are already at the Orchid! Rut-row!
The Raft arrives at the Big Boat, which is apparently crewed by nice, mute Red Shirts and co-captained by Desmond and Michael, judging from the little we see of things on the Boat. Upon seeing the Raft, Des looks upset and imidiately asks where Sayid is. (Can you say 'canon slash' ladies?) Danny-boy, blind to the OTP, says the Sayid took off 'after Jack' which is NOT what you say to the lonely-solider whose boyfriend has NOT come back. Des asks if Sun is ok, she says she is, but Des doesn't ask where Claire is upon seeing Aaron, as everyone else has. Really now, you cannot deny the slash right there. Everyone else sees Aaron and is all 'where's Claire?!' but Des is all 'oh, Aaron + no Claire ... WHERE is my lover again?' ...
Danny-boy goes back for the the next group (does he have enough GAS?!) and makes driving the raft away look signifigantly less-sexy that when Sayid did exactly the same thing.
Sun and Jin STARE at Michael. Michael hangs his head in Judas-shame, but we see no more of that. What we DO see is Des reporting to the boat-driver that the engines are fixed and to try and head for the Island. Something's interfearing with the sensores, though, and boat-driver can't see the reefs and he won't go closer than five-miles. Well, the closer you get the better, right? Or should you be moving away, if the Island's gonna move? Will it land right on top of the Boat?! (Btw, why is Des the Captain? I know he's sailed a boat before, it was the one Libby randomly gave to him because he husband had just died. REMEMBER LIBBY? No? I'm not surprised, I want that subplot back! Why was she in the asylum with Hurley?!)
Oh hey, another slahy pairing for me to watch! Sawyer is slightly floored that Jack had his appendix taken out 'a couple of days ago' (the thing in the quotes is for you lot who are obsessing over the time-lapsey business. I really don't give a damn unless Doctor Who turns up.) Sawyer asks what else he missed, but is interupted by the sight of the chopper. Pilot is handcuffed to a seat in the chopper and everyone spews backstory and recaps as Jack catches his breath, Sawyer bitches a little, and Pilot tries to uncuff himself.
Sawyer is concerned that the 'dudes with guns' will do 'nothing good' to whoever is with Ben becuase, as he tells Jack, "Hurley is with Ben."
Erm, Sawyer? I dunno if you got the fangirl memo, but LOCKE is 'with' Ben. Quite a lot if we have our way ...
In a flashforward, Jack holds a fake-wake for his dad, who is SO NOT DEAD, but happily galumphing about the Island with his daughter and giving off sketchy-vibes.
After the 'service' Kate tells Jack he does 'that' well. Jack says he had a lot of practice. I don't know if they mean eulogies or lying or both, but it doesn't matter because a blond woman with an Australian accent (Claire's mommy, woken up from her 'unwakeable' coma) aproaches Jack and drops the 'you had a sister named Claire' bomb. Basically it's a reacap for the audience, and it really hits Jack hard because Claire wasn't a stranger he glimpsed on the plane but someone he knew very well for almost 100 days. The really sad part is that Claire's mommy passes Kate on the way out and says how beautiful Kate's 'son' is, and she doesn't even know it's her grandson. Can you say 'irony?'
On the Boat, Michael angrily insists to Sun that he doesn't work for Ben. He desperately asks her to translate for Jin, but Jin's hooked on Phonics and know's what's up.
Then Des yelps from a doorway that he needs Michael 'right now' and my slasher-brain explodes because Des, as you know, cannot keep his shirt on and it's half-falling off when he yells at Michael. Guess Sayid better get back pretty fast, if ya know what I mean ...
Des has found a bajillion packets of C4, the stuff they used in that Alias episode. Jin gets Sun n' Aaron out of there doublequick.
In the junglethe mightly jungle, the lion sleeps tonight Kate and Sayid are ambushed by Richard the Ageless (last seen in the 50s, doing a Dahli Lama test on young Locke) and the previoulsy NOT SEEN FOR A BAJILLION EPISODES Others. Kate has the terrified, deer-in-headlights look in her eyes, and Sayid has this half-resigned expression that states quite clearly he knows that the Other men prefer ... other men.
Back at the Orchid, Ben hands Locke his baton (not like THAT you pervs!) and hisses instructions on how to get to the ACTUAL station-within-the-staion. Hurley is lost (pun intended.) Locke asks how Ben is going to deal with the armed men. Ben swivels around, annoyed, and says "How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan!"
We end with slo-mo shots of: Ben walking towards the crazy armed men; Sun with Aaron in her arms and looking concerned about him and the C4; Jack and Sawyer striding away from the chopper purposefully; Richard the Ageless and the Others leading Kate and Sayid off ... somewhere; and Locke and Hurley watching in concern and Ben raises his hands in surrender and the sound switches back on.
"My name in Benjamen Linus." Ben says to Keamy. "I believe you're looking for me?"
Keamy smirks, whips out a pistol (proabaly the one he stole fromt he Capt.), cocks it, and presses it to Ben's forehead. Ben glances up at it, nonplussled. Keamy smirks deeper and knocks Ben uncouncious.
I think I read a fic like this once ...
Next Week: Kate n' Aaron, Hurley, Jack, Sayid, and Sun get off the Island. A lot of other people don't. Jin probably dies. Michael probably dies. The Island is probably moved. There are lots of slashy moments. There's going to be a cliffhanger that will make us screech in fury and tear out our hair.
ARGH on the Lost-front!
Previoulsy on Lost: the Island will be torched. The Island will be moved. Keamy is craaaaaazy and held a really lame mutiny. Locke has a boyfriend. Claire is on drugs (hypocryite! What would Chahley say to that?) Jack misinterprets Pilot's message as 'follow us' not 'run like hell and hide from the crazy people who want to KEEL you!'
I want to know where the Indestructable, one-eyed Russian is. I miss him so. Maybe he's been keeping Charley prisoner in his underwater kingdom all year! *heartened by this idea, then disgusted, then intrigued*
In a flash-forward, a pilot rubs a rabbit foot, not realizing that 'rabit feet' generally marketed to the public are usually the front paws, not technical 'feet' at all. He's nervous and calls the Ocean 6 (who are in the back of the aircraft carrier he's helping to fly) 'bad mojo.'
A woman in a suit goes back and informs the Oceanic 6 (Jack, Sun, Sayid, Hurley, Kate n' Aaron) that they don't need to speak to the press on the private military facility they're about to land on. The facility is just outside of Hondalulu, which means the Oceanic 6 haven't gotten very far from the Island AT ALL.
Jack speaks for the group and says they want to get the speaking to the press over with. The woman informs them of the 'catchy' title they've been given, which I think is better than 'The Lying Liars Who Lie' which is what they ARE.
Once Oceanic-Lady is gone, Jack tries to enhearten his troops by going over the plan and saying everyone will just think they (the O6) are in shock. Sun says "We are in shock, Jack."
The carrier lands to soft, sad piano music generally played at funerals. Aaron makes little noises at being on land that isn't the Island.
I notice the number on the side of the plane and sigh because 'The Numbers' stopped a long, long time ago. Sayid looks damn fine in a suit. Yes, I'm aware that I have ADHD when I watch TV ...
Then there's this awesome, tear-jerking scene in which the O6 get off the plane and are greated by their families in a silent scene with very emotional music. Hurley's mom and dad are there, and when he sees Sayid hasn't got nobody to love, he drags him over and Sayid is hugged by Hurley's mom, which nearly got me to cry. Jack's mom hugs him. Sun's mom embraces her and her dad looks on, probably happy Jin is either dead or on the Island with rampant homosexuals.
Kate n' Aaron ain't got nobody to love either. Which is sad indeed.
Rose tries to reacap for everyone and wonders why 'they' dropped the 'thingamabob' on the Jackalopes' heads. Sadly nobody brings up the possibility that the folks in the chopper are there to KEEL everyone and plant Charles Whitmore's flag in the soil. (I imagine Charles Whitmore tried the flag thing before, when the Others were 'the Hostiles' and it went something like this Eddie Izzard sketch:
Isn't 'The Orchid' one of the Dharma stations? I can't remember them all ... there's the Hatch, the Observation Hatch, the-one-with-the-cages, the Hydra (with the shark tank they kept Jack in ... hee hee), the Looking Glass that held Charlie's Angels, and ... OH YEAH! The Orchid was the one in the Easter Egg on the S3 DVDs! With the bunnies and junk!
Anyhoddle, Jack and Kate prepare to take off into the jungle and track the Chopper-crew, Juliet tells Jack he's stupid for running about with stitches, but he is Jack! The Leader! The Doctor! He can do NO wrong! He will get the girl and vanquish Sawyer and SAVE EVERYONE because he! Is! Jack! The Shepard! (How about all those Red Shirts who've died since getting to the Island? Has anyone kept a tally? That'd be good of someone to do ... there was the girl who drowned, and the FIRST Pilot and ... seriously, I should re-watch all the seasons and keep a tally.)
Danny-boy knows what the Orchid is! He flips through his fan-magazine ... I mean, his journal, and finds a doodle of a Dharma sign whose logo is a whale tail spinning into a whirlpool, or at least, that's what it looks like to ME. To YOU, it might be some kind of Nazi-Code (Goodwin's law!) or a hypnotizing trick or a design we saw on a dress Kate lent to Rose in a flashback in Season 26.
"You know when most people are lying they can't look you in the eye ... you do the exact opposite." Hee hee, Jack's a bad boy ... unfortunately, not as bad as Sawyer, and not bad enough for Kate. Have I mentioned my slightly-frightening girl-crush on Evangaline Lily?
Sawyer emerges from the underbrush carrying Aaron, upping his hotness by ... a lot, because men being fatherly is ridiculously cute. He calls Miles 'Genghis' which is one the best and worst nickname yet. It also makes me draw the line between the two shows I'm watching and declare Sawyer to be Donna's-long-lost-cousin. It's only a matter of time before Donna convinces the Doctor to break the fourth-wall and save her relative.
I wish we could have seen bits of Sawyer and Miles looking for Claire all day. Really, I have the feeling that Sawyer threatened to shoot Miles at least three times, Miles wasn't at all reluctant in the search because he thinks Claire is hot, and there was a tusle of HoYay proportions over a gun whilst Aaron slept nearby.
Write the fanfic, girls, you know you want to ...
Sawyer refers to the Baracks as 'New Otherton.' Yes I'll quote every funny thing he says, try and stop me! *brandishes my long-forgotten katana*
Jack and Sawyer have one of their arguments about who can be more macho and who's really in charge. It's really stupid, and Sawyer calls Jack a 'broken record' for going on and on about getting off the Island. If there wasn't the problem about having kids, I'd advise everyone to stay put on the Island because from what we've seen, not many people have nice things to go back to. Perhaps they were put on the Island for a reason, a second chance, you could say, to work out their problems and such. They did that for a while, then the stupid Others and the Dharma crap and scary Charles Whitmore had to come along and ruin what this show was about (if it was about anything at all.)
Jack strides out after the chopper and tells Kate (not unkindly) to look after the baby. Sawyer strides after Jack, sarcastically insisting he doesn't get to 'die alone.'
In a flashforward Oceanic Lady spins a harrowing tale of how the O6 survived for 100-odd days. (Please let it be 108, PLEASE let it be 108 ... has the show really only been 108 days? WOW ...) There's a picture (I'll bet my backgammom set it was staged) that a 'local fisherman' took of the O6 yanking a raft up a beach.
There are some questions, in which we find out Hurley doesn't want his money and calls it 'bad luck' and that Sun claims Jin never made it off the plane.
Later on, Oceanic Lady holds Sayid back and says there's a woman to see him. Then she states Nadia's name, which I'd butcher, so suffice to say it is SO Nadia outside. Sayid whispers her name a few times as his sad-theme-music plays, and then they have this amazingly tentative and awkward kiss that ... ok, I can't hold it in any longer, I cried. Yes, I cried. Not 'Doomsday' tears, not 'Titantic' tears, and definately not 'Gone with the Wind' tears, but my eyes got really wet and my throat closed up and I made whimpering noises. Because really, she dies in like two weeks and Sayid becomes
*still wibbling* Can I have a hug? Please? *gulps frantically because I feel like I'm gonna cry again*
Sayid lands the boat on the beach, looking all kinds of hot, and gets right to the point. Des is ok
Yay! The Locke/Ben and Hurley show! *dances* Hurley pesters Ben (who has a gun. Good lord, in a few short weeks this man has gone from tied-up to in-charge to tied-up to in-charge to Locke's boyfriend, usually changing his status by episode.) about where they're going (the Orchid) what that is (it's a greenhouse) why are they going there (to move the Island like Locke said) why didn't Ben do that before the crazies with guns showed up (because it's a dangerous and unpredictable process, like raising the dead.)
Ben unearths a crate from under some rocks that looks like the Vessel from Reaper. OMG Ben's a Reaper AND the Master?!
Locke looks through it, passing Hurley a Dharma tin that contains some saltines, which Hurley eats. A few minutes later Ben condescendingly says the crackers are 15 years old. *sporfles* Ben uses a mirror to communicate with the Others (who we haven't seen in WAY TOO LONG, PEOPLE! I want Richard and the kids and the Stewardess and the Other Red Shirts!)
When Locke asks what Ben just 'said' (bet you wish Bernard, aka Mr. Morse Code, was there, eh?) Ben tells him it's none of his business.
Here follows MY translation of the mirror-lingo (which I'm sure hardcore fans will literally translate, but here's what I think transpired.)
Ben: John and I are an item!
Other: OMG! Where r u?
Ben: Past 2nd base!
Other: OMG! Do you have fangirls?
Ben: You'd better believe it.
Other: Be safe.
Ben: U mean the fangirls or condoms?
Other: Lol both.
Ben: lol, TTFN!
... oh come on, you know you wanna believe it! (Personally I think they've gone WAY past 2nd base, if ya know what I mean, but really, who's among you isn't a Ben/Locke shipper?)
Danny-boy offers to ferry people to the Big Boat. Sayid agrees and prepares to take off after Jack and Kate, giving us a view of Echo and Charlie's
Kate hands Aaron over to Sun and goes off to lead Sayid to Jack. The Raft takes off with several Red Shirts, Jin and Sun, Aaron, and Danny-boy. The look of surpressed-love that Red is giving Danny-boy makes me fear for Danny-boy's life, but because they didn't kiss I think Danny-boy might make it.
In the Raft, Aaron stares up at Sun in confusion. He has so many mommies it's hard for the little guy to keep track.
In a flashforward, Sun goes all badass on her father. She bought a controlling share in his Company, so now he's gotta respect her. She accuses him (rightly) of ruining Jin's life and being one of the two people responsible for Jin's death, and that after she has her baby she and her father will discuss 'their' company. Sun is sixteen kinds of badass and looking damn hot too. YOU GO GIRL! *punches the air*
(Also, Sun walked in on her father discussing something bad with some of his employees. Apparently whoever 'did it' used 'five different banks' which makes me suspect Ben. Ben and Sayid, that is. Tee hee.)
Hurley drives his junky car up to his awesome house. Inside he heards suspicous noises and finds a coconut on the floor. He grabs the golden Jesus and pushes open a door, to find a surprise b-day party. Hurley's family? Hold surprise birthday parties AFTER the survival-instincts wear off, mmmkay?
Hurley's mommy reprimands him for preparing to use Jesus as a weapon. (At least Hurley wasn't hiding HEROIN in him.) And, again, SURVIVAL INSTINCTS, people! You let people who've had a serious shock (especially the ones who have a past of mental illness) take it easy for a while.
This has clearly not happened, seeing as Nadia is still alive and Aaron is still a tiny baby (in a Hawiann shirt, tee hee!), so people really weren't thinking when they invited a large crowd around Hurley and shocked him.
Sayid says the theme of Hawaian island is 'interesting' and Hurley admits his mom 'doesn't get it.' Hurley's obnoxious dad takes this oppertunity to pop in and ask if they were talking about starting fires and hunting boars. There's only one boor around here, dude, and it doesn't have tusks.
Hurley's dad fixed the Camaro (Camaro, right? It's one of those guy-cars ...) which is a symbol of his relationship with his son. It makes me smile, like Hurley refusing to stay and fix it last season in a flashback made me cry. (Hurley's dad's keychain has a rabbit-front-paw on it.)
HOHMYGOD the NUMBERS! THE NUMBERS ARE BACK! YAAAAAAAAY some rhyme and reason to the show! YAAAAAAAAAY!
Of course, Hurley's reaction to seeing the Numbersis to run away as if he's beeing chased by the Monster, so it's really very sad. But the Numbers are back. YAY! *does a dance of relief*
Hurley badgers Ben about moving the Island some more. (Good lord people, it's the finale, speed things up!) He asks if moving the Island will move the 'dudes with guns' with it too. Apparently it will. Hurley asks a retorical question about that being a problem (there are no problems, only challenges, Hurley!) Ben says he's working on that. Hurley wants to get off this ride. Locke says it's too late for that.
"I wasn't being entirely truthful."
Locke snorts. "Yeah, when are you ever entirely truthful?"
The craazy killers are already at the Orchid! Rut-row!
The Raft arrives at the Big Boat, which is apparently crewed by nice, mute Red Shirts and co-captained by Desmond and Michael, judging from the little we see of things on the Boat. Upon seeing the Raft, Des looks upset and imidiately asks where Sayid is. (Can you say 'canon slash' ladies?) Danny-boy, blind to the OTP, says the Sayid took off 'after Jack' which is NOT what you say to the lonely-solider whose boyfriend has NOT come back. Des asks if Sun is ok, she says she is, but Des doesn't ask where Claire is upon seeing Aaron, as everyone else has. Really now, you cannot deny the slash right there. Everyone else sees Aaron and is all 'where's Claire?!' but Des is all 'oh, Aaron + no Claire ... WHERE is my lover again?' ...
Danny-boy goes back for the the next group (does he have enough GAS?!) and makes driving the raft away look signifigantly less-sexy that when Sayid did exactly the same thing.
Sun and Jin STARE at Michael. Michael hangs his head in Judas-shame, but we see no more of that. What we DO see is Des reporting to the boat-driver that the engines are fixed and to try and head for the Island. Something's interfearing with the sensores, though, and boat-driver can't see the reefs and he won't go closer than five-miles. Well, the closer you get the better, right? Or should you be moving away, if the Island's gonna move? Will it land right on top of the Boat?! (Btw, why is Des the Captain? I know he's sailed a boat before, it was the one Libby randomly gave to him because he husband had just died. REMEMBER LIBBY? No? I'm not surprised, I want that subplot back! Why was she in the asylum with Hurley?!)
Oh hey, another slahy pairing for me to watch! Sawyer is slightly floored that Jack had his appendix taken out 'a couple of days ago' (the thing in the quotes is for you lot who are obsessing over the time-lapsey business. I really don't give a damn unless Doctor Who turns up.) Sawyer asks what else he missed, but is interupted by the sight of the chopper. Pilot is handcuffed to a seat in the chopper and everyone spews backstory and recaps as Jack catches his breath, Sawyer bitches a little, and Pilot tries to uncuff himself.
Sawyer is concerned that the 'dudes with guns' will do 'nothing good' to whoever is with Ben becuase, as he tells Jack, "Hurley is with Ben."
Erm, Sawyer? I dunno if you got the fangirl memo, but LOCKE is 'with' Ben. Quite a lot if we have our way ...
In a flashforward, Jack holds a fake-wake for his dad, who is SO NOT DEAD, but happily galumphing about the Island with his daughter and giving off sketchy-vibes.
After the 'service' Kate tells Jack he does 'that' well. Jack says he had a lot of practice. I don't know if they mean eulogies or lying or both, but it doesn't matter because a blond woman with an Australian accent (Claire's mommy, woken up from her 'unwakeable' coma) aproaches Jack and drops the 'you had a sister named Claire' bomb. Basically it's a reacap for the audience, and it really hits Jack hard because Claire wasn't a stranger he glimpsed on the plane but someone he knew very well for almost 100 days. The really sad part is that Claire's mommy passes Kate on the way out and says how beautiful Kate's 'son' is, and she doesn't even know it's her grandson. Can you say 'irony?'
On the Boat, Michael angrily insists to Sun that he doesn't work for Ben. He desperately asks her to translate for Jin, but Jin's hooked on Phonics and know's what's up.
Then Des yelps from a doorway that he needs Michael 'right now' and my slasher-brain explodes because Des, as you know, cannot keep his shirt on and it's half-falling off when he yells at Michael. Guess Sayid better get back pretty fast, if ya know what I mean ...
Des has found a bajillion packets of C4, the stuff they used in that Alias episode. Jin gets Sun n' Aaron out of there doublequick.
In the jungle
Back at the Orchid, Ben hands Locke his baton (not like THAT you pervs!) and hisses instructions on how to get to the ACTUAL station-within-the-staion. Hurley is lost (pun intended.) Locke asks how Ben is going to deal with the armed men. Ben swivels around, annoyed, and says "How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan!"
We end with slo-mo shots of: Ben walking towards the crazy armed men; Sun with Aaron in her arms and looking concerned about him and the C4; Jack and Sawyer striding away from the chopper purposefully; Richard the Ageless and the Others leading Kate and Sayid off ... somewhere; and Locke and Hurley watching in concern and Ben raises his hands in surrender and the sound switches back on.
"My name in Benjamen Linus." Ben says to Keamy. "I believe you're looking for me?"
Keamy smirks, whips out a pistol (proabaly the one he stole fromt he Capt.), cocks it, and presses it to Ben's forehead. Ben glances up at it, nonplussled. Keamy smirks deeper and knocks Ben uncouncious.
I think I read a fic like this once ...
Next Week: Kate n' Aaron, Hurley, Jack, Sayid, and Sun get off the Island. A lot of other people don't. Jin probably dies. Michael probably dies. The Island is probably moved. There are lots of slashy moments. There's going to be a cliffhanger that will make us screech in fury and tear out our hair.
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Date: 2008-05-20 01:57 am (UTC)I thought the "something bad" was an unknown party buying controlling interest in the company, and moments later, Sun's dad learns that it was his pissed-off daughter. I forget the details of the dad and employees' conversation, though, so I could be wrong.
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Date: 2008-05-20 12:19 pm (UTC)(Ooooo ... your icon ...