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aunt_zeldaSpoilers below the cut:
Too Deep: Oh lord Jon what are you getting yourself into.
I’m reasonably sure Elias killed Gertrude but like who knows it’s early yet, there’s definitely a bigger story here.
Grifter’s Bone: Ooooooooh I love this one a lot! Only episode 2 and this one is likely gonna end up on my top list, I can tell. The weirdly esoteric spooky music ones really get to me. The idea of music that can sway people to do vile things is an old, old story.
It’s kinda sad that Martin, who almost certainly has a huge crush on Jon and definitely wants to be kind to him, is now under suspicion by Jon’s paranoid mind.
Also Jon, VERY RUDE to read that poetry!
Section 31: Ooooooooooh exciting! The plot thickens! More women! Access to those tapes! Context to old cases! I’m so excited!
Tightrope: Gertrude! YESSSSSSSSSS! Also the circus returns! And oh goodness, there’s Those Two Guys again. Are they an Eldritch Thing too, or just creepy? I wonder if the Tiger needing time to “finish” is related to those kids who needed to perfect their human shapes.
It’s refreshing to hear an archivist who like, knows there’s legit Eldritch things happening and acknowledges that in the post-recording thoughts. … I kinda wish we’d started the show here? With Gertrude’s tapes I mean. And then she gets murdered and Jon’s investigating.
Like no shade to Mr. Sims I loved S1 a whole lot, his voice is beautiful, etc. But like … looking at this overall … I can’t shake the idea of that as the framework.
S1: Gertrude’s tapes, finale is whatever her murder was
S2: Jon secretly investigating his predecessor’s murder
Blood Bag: this is the most Warehouse 13 of the episodes thus far. I liked it, but also felt like Myka and Pete and Claudia were gonna come rolling in at any second to collect this obviously plague-infested historical artifact.
Realized I ought to make a list of the Eldritch Things I think are the 13 Things. Currently I just have too little information. Definitely have figured out a few but there’s so many stories, hard to tell which are overlapping.
[link to pic]
(Edit: A friend said I got 10/13, which was quite fun to hear.)
Literary Heights: another spooooooky book one so you know I’ll love it. Why are there so many Michaels this is weird.
Also this is very goofy bu, all I can think of is The Monster At the End of this Book … but CURSED.
Starting to become nervous Jon’s paranoia is going to cause something Terrible to happen. Like the team wakes up groggy and tied to chairs and Jon insisting he’s devised a Test to determine who the Murderer is.
I wonder how far back these Eldritch Things go. These stories are all very modern, I think they’ve all even been in the 20th and 21st century. Would love to hear some much older stories.
The New Door: Well this one was very unsettling even BEFORE the ah, appearance of “Michael” at the end. That voice is very … wrong. Very very wrong. I might have trouble sleeping tonight. Also Not-Sasha is so upsetting. Jon better feel bad about not noticing that.
“I’m normally neutral yes, but the loss of this place would have unbalanced the struggle too early”
Me: *mind exploding emoji*
“I wouldn’t wish to tarnish your ignorance prematurely”
That’s been mentioned before, sort of, in a couple statements. Ignorance vs knowledge and all. I feel like that’s important and being used in a way that has deeper implications.
Brass tarnishes, and brass has been mentioned a few times too. I doubt that’s relevant but I’m not ruling anything out yet.
That sound distortion effect was good but owwwwwww my ears.
Haven’t been this Unsettled by a voice since Kevin popped up in Welcome to Night Vale for the first time.
Lost in the Crowd: as someone who loves traveling alone and already has extreme anxiety, fuck this entire statement. *angry face emoji*
The Butcher’s Window: this one was deeply unsettling and disgusting. So many horrible details. Any one of them would have been enough on their own but no, all in one statement.
I’m concerned that the Bone Thing and the Meat Thing might be the same Thing and I’m upset.
In this episode we learn:
-Martin probably shouldn’t interview witnesses
-Not-Sasha’s having computer issues, probably due to the known technical interference these Things cause
-Tim’s bisexual and polyam. Hell yeaaaaaaaah!
Foundation: this statement giver is a vile man I hope he died slowly for what he did, designing and championing workhouses. This one leaves me with more questions than answers. I think this Thing is Michael, with talk of “balance” and shrinking corridors?
Again, Robert Smirk. He called the Eldritch Thing a “patron” which is worrying indeed. I thought they were just like floating around doing their creepy stuff, but this is the first major suggestion they can possibly be utilized like a D&D Warlock Patron by humans.
Although perhaps when invoked by a human, it’s not the partnership the human would have wanted but something like drawing a predator right to your face. Tim was said in S1 to love Smirk’s work. I wonder why. I wonder that a lot. Also lol Tim assuming Jon is shagging Basira.
As googling leads to spoilers I’m writing a lot of names phonetically, I apologize if this is frustrating to those of you who are farther ahead in the podcast than I am.
I’m gonna be so upset if Sexy Werewolf is the same Thing as the Meat Thing.
I’m also increasingly confused as to which Things are actually Things, and which Things are in fact humans who were taken over by Things or Invoked the Things or are like, avatars/champions of the Things. It makes trying to solve the mysteries much harder.
Like killing the physical form of the body formerly known as Jane Prentiss … that definitely killed that host. But I definitely think the Hive Thing is still out there, or maybe needs time to reform, idk, I doubt these Things can be killed permanently.
The Hive Thing will probably just find another body like Jane Prentiss, and do it all over again. Like more than anything, these Things are reminding me of the Endless from Gaiman’s Sandman series? Forces of reality. Can’t kill them, or can’t without serious ramifications.
The Endless, or like, the whole main thrust of the book Hogfather.
Going way back but Jon is surprised Elias was a pothead in college. Maybe this is a cultural difference but I’ve noticed a lot of emphasis in this show on what people did in college and that translating to their later careers/status/personality, and that’s very odd to me. Like I knew plenty of “smoke weed every day” types in college, most of them left that life behind once they graduated. Many have great jobs now. Heck I’d be hard-pressed to find any college friends who resemble their college selves now, and I only graduated in 2015.
I’m not clear if this is a cultural difference between America and the UK, or Jon being a bit of a classist snob?
I’d also imagine after finding out paranormal things are real, Elias would have wisely cut back on the skunk weed? Or started taking indica blends instead?
… Oh my god what if Elias has been high THIS WHOLE TIME. *laughing crying emoji*
High Pressure: this was freaky. Is this ginormous hand related to the big hand from Angler Fish I wonder? Idk if this is the Sky Vore Thing or the Darkness Thing or what.
Also Not-Sasha called the table “like a web.” With spiders in the tunnels that doesn’t bode well.
Why couldn’t this season’s Thing be the hot werewolf, why we gotta do gross worms followed by creepy spiders?
Why is Not-Sasha staring at the wax museum? Is the thing trying to study humans better and learn to imitate them better?
Exceptional Risk: what a vile man this statement giver was. If ever someone deserved to get eaten by an Eldritch Thing it’s him, yet he wasn’t. I look forward to going back and re-listening to statements and linking them up with their companions later.
Lol Tim is “the hot one” and visible scars are only working for him. I hope there’s art of Tim grinning and giving the thumbs up to this bewildered cop he thinks is banging his terrible boss.
Crusader: I feel so bad for this statement giver, this poor old man traumatized by war and eldritch horror.
Again the mention of brass. Coincidence?
These underground locations … are they made by the Things, for them, to trap or contain them, to lure prey? Do the locations move?
Gertrude seemed to want to hide this statement from anyone else at the Institute. That’s concerning. So is her theory that the monster could have been a former Archivist.
“those who sing the night” whaaaaat that sounds bad.
Also … eyes. Been a while since focused on Eyes.
I’ve seen people compare this show to Welcome to Night Vale and … I guess, kinda, but this is increasingly reminding me far more of Warehouse 13 than anything else.
Not to be rude but has anyone asked Mr. Sims if he’s watched Warehouse 13? I can hear the Lovecraft influence and the creepypasta influence, but I wonder if the Warehouse 13 influence is something I’m picking up on or not.
If we get a:
- gay cop
- semi-immortal/unnaturally long-lived boss
- Bisexual Badass Lady Villain
Then I’ll get more suspicious.
Mr. Sims was involved in steampunk culture around the right time to have seen Warehouse 13 but idk how international distribution was going at the time for the SyFy channel.
Still Life: Eughghghghg taxidermy. I was hoping for the Hot Werewolf to show up but I don’t think it did. Those Two Guys did again.
And a Thing that reminded me of the Angler Fish.
I wonder how many of these Things are Things, how many are humans who’ve gone weird, how many are Things pretending to be human, and how many are like simulacrum designed to lure humans to the Things.
Also Gertrude was cutting the eyes out of all the pictures on her books. Odd.
I feel like the bone-shifting shenanigans would freak me out more if 1) I wasn’t such a big horror fan and 2) I didn’t know about the Tzimisce from Vampire the Masquerade.
Like … I just think this is a really cool concept for a horror story and I’m fascinated.
I’m gonna need to re-listen to this entire podcast later and take notes on which episodes would work as VtM supplements. ‘cause a good chunk of them would work VERY easily as “wow some Sabbat jerks are going hog-wild in London.”
Pest Control: This one was so gross. Made my skin crawl unpleasantly. Pleased to get more lore, and hear that Jon got a good night’s sleep for once. I worry for this man.
Children of the Night: I’m delighted by this one because it all but confirms that Sexy Werewolf Thing is different and distinct from Gross Flesh Thing.
I’m horrified by this one because EWWWWW TOO MANY SPIDERS TOO CLOSE NO THANK YOU.
Jon: SIT DOWN
Me: … *blush emoji*
Oh gosh poor Martin lied on his job application 'cause he dropped out of school to support his mom when he was 17. I’m love him.
Poor Martin, already got a terrible crush on his terrible boss, and now his boss is shouting at him until he spills his secrets.
That’s how kinks get started, if he didn’t have kinks before.
… now that I’ve had time to think I feel bad for the spiders? Like imagine it from their POV, they’re about to take a nap and then some weirdo human lumbers over and asks them about their personal business, chases them out into the street with a knife, and ruins their home!
Personal Space: this was very creepy. Poor man.
I wonder about the people funding this. Were they trying to feed the Lonely Predator Thing? Lure it out? To what purpose? Seems awfully expensive if all they wanted to do was feed it. Are they sadists? Cultists? Hunters?
Trail Rations: one of my favorite movies is Ravenous so … I love this one. I love this one soooooooo much. Is the Carlyle surname a reference to Robert Carlyle I wonder?
Previous the Gross Meat Thing episodes have just been … gross to me. This one delighted me.
Poor Jon, his employees actually care about him and all he does is get suspicious. People … *caring* about him?! He cannot compute that.
Me: I don’t like the Gross Meat Thing episodes
Jonathan Sims: Have you read my Ravenous fanfiction?
Me: … oh damn.
This show is really bringing my horror preferences into sharp relief. I really lean towards punitive horror, where someone does something Wrong and incurs punishment, even if it’s disproportionate. There isn’t a lot of that in this, but I latch onto the statements which have it.
The ones where someone is like “I’ve always loved doing X, makes me so happy” and by the end of the story an Eldritch Thing has ruined it for them, that upsets me. They didn’t do anything wrong! It’s just sad and unfair!
I’m also very fond of the Lovecraftian horror type stuff, where someone is Horribly Changed by something unknowable and powerful, where books can be body-horror-inducing magic, where ancient cults compile secret knowledge Man Was Not Meant to Know.
Recluse: This one upset me. Those poor kids. That’s so disgusting. I hope they burn this table and all those spiders. That’s so cruel.
Also I get the bad feeling the other employees are gonna stage a very badly handled intervention for Jon and NotSasha will take advantage of that.
I do wonder about these Things. We haven’t heard especially old stories about them. Are they a modern invention by humans, by the industrialization period? They seem very much urban grown. Or were cave people hiding in fear of them? What about dinosaurs?
Observer Effect: this one was deeply unsettling and upsetting. Also provided some interesting context, such as the Things being researchable by someone investigating religions and totems, and the fact that Rosa probably tried to attack the Archive.
The question is, did she think she could stop them from investigating further into these Things and causing more harm, was she angry they couldn’t help her, or did the Thing drive her to it?
