What aunt_zelda Thinks: A Christmas Carol - Doctor Who (long one)

[aunt_zelda]

Yeah, I know, it’s a year late. And I saw it two weeks ago for the first time. But last year Senior Year happened and I had no time for Doctor Who in the spring. I barely had time for TGWTG. Then last summer I was busy with work and putting off college packing. And my first semester of college … well, I’m catching up now, ok? Been spoiled beyond belief by my “friends” who can’t help squeeing to each other about spoilers, which are common knowledge for them but big spoilers for me.

So, anyways, onto the episode!

We open on … um, Star Trek? Pretty obvious homage, even to me, and I’ve never really gotten into Star Trek. (Though I could be persuaded at a later date, don’t revoke my geek card yet.) Lots of white and shininess. Their ship, which looks like a giant bullet, is speeding through the atmosphere and crashing. Warning lights flash and the camera shakes. Amy staggers in, saying she’s sent a distress signal. She is dressed in her Kinky Policewoman outfit, sans hat and handcuffs.

Rory (YAAAAAAY, RORY!!!!!!) staggers in dressed as a Roman soldier and sheepishly explains their costumes as “just a bit of fun” and Amy tries to shush him. Shut up, Amy. Embrace your kinkiness of GTFO.

(Ok, my Issues with Amy are still intact from last season, good to know) … my, her hair is pretty and her legs are nice to look at …

After Amy prays for the Doctor to show up, the TARDIS shows up on the monitor and the words “Come Along Pond” flicker on the screen. The Captain asks what that means. Amy says “It’s Christmas.”

Theme Song! Yaaaaaay! *does the TARDIS Dance* It feels weird not to be watching Doctor Who in a crowded common room full of 20 other geeky girls, also doing the TARDIS Dance.

We pan down to … a thing of beauty. The first time I saw this I literally sighed with longing and joy. It’s steampunk in the best sense of the word. This is what Ankh-Morpork could look like in fifty – a hundred years. A man wearing goggles for no reason sells papers. I instantly declare this my favorite Christmas Special ever. The people in this place don’t seem to have a lot of money, things are pretty grimy and there isn’t an abundance of color, but everyone is wearing a cool hat. Some are cooler than others, but they’re all awesome hats. *SQUEE*

A man with a cool voice narrates that this is the time of year where everyone “turns and hugs, as if to say ‘well done. Well done, everyone, we’re halfway out of the dark.’” Something about that, I just love that. Music plays from a lamppost.

The narrator continues that people on Earth that Was used to call it Christmas or The Winter Solstice. “Early settlers called it The Chrystal Feast,” the camera lingers on the gorgeous spire/citadel thingy with a glowing laser that sends light into the atmosphere and I can’t do it justice with words just trust me that it’s gorgeous, ok? “Do you know what I call it?” he says, suddenly audibly sneering as the camera pans up to a window of an old cranky man in a spiffy coat with a can. “Expecting something for nothing!” he snaps, turning to face us. Yipes! Hello Mr. Scrooge! You’re looking very Steampunky today!

He’s mad at a poor family who are pleading for him to release “her” for “just one day” as it’s Christmas and “she loves Christmas.” The “she” in question in a lovely lady frozen in a big metal box. Scrooge knocks on the glass and makes a mean joke. He has to remind his goggle-minions to laugh at said joke. The little boy of the family says “She’s in the ice, she can’t hear you.” Scrooge says “What a clever boy,” and glances at the parents “You must be so irritated.” LOL!

It’s not long before I regret laughing at Scrooge, though, because he proceeds to prove himself a right bastard, refusing to let the family have the sister for Christmas, saying he’s “too busy” for the President, and making horrible jokes about just letting a spaceship full of over 4,000 people crash and die. Because he’s a horrible person. We – and the little boy – hear the vworp vworp of the TARDIS. Scrooge tells the president (on an awesome awesome steampunk phone) that there’s a “surplus population” on the planet already and no more people are allowed. “I don’t make the rules … oh wait, I do!” Meanwhile, soot is falling down the chimney into the fireplace and Mischevious Music is playing. Is there a Doctor in the House?

Scrooge orders the family away.

The fireplace flames dramatically and goes out, smoke billows, and Eleven rolls out of the fireplace. *SQUEE* Oh, Matt Smith, how I’ve missed you! You’re one of my favorite Doctors, you know?

Anyways, he says “Sorry, Christmas Eve on a rooftop. Saw a chimney, my whole brain just went ‘What the hell!’ Don’t worry, fat fellow will be around later, *shakes the kids hands* I’m just scoping out the general chimney-ness.” And that is half the reason I love Eleven so much. He’s not afraid to get Whimsical. He’s like a child, or, more accurately, he’s a man rediscovering the great things about childhood and embracing them because he will never lose his sense of wonder, he’s never going to stop looking at cool things and going “oooooo!” and being painfully sincere about it. It’s like a midlife crisis without the awkward sports car or twenty-year-old girlfriend/boyfriend.

Also, Eleven knows Santa. And Frank Sinatra. And Albert Einstein. And I want to quote every single one of Eleven’s lines because they are all so stellar in this episode.

And I think he just gave a shout-out to Eddie Izzard because he said he knows Santa as “Jeff.”

“Big flashy lighty thing” … Eleven, are you trying to get the page-quote for Buffy Speak on tvtropes? Or the picture? Because you’re well on your way and you’ve only been onscreen for about two minutes.

“Give me time. And a crayon.” I love you, Eleven, I’m going to spend most of this episode squeeing over pretty much everything you do and say, ok?

Scrooge dismisses Box Girl as “nobody important” and Eleven counters that with “in 900 years of time and space travel I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important.” *punches the air* Gah, I love this guy. Also, Eleven? Quit lying about your age, mmmmkay? You’re not 900, you’re waaaaay over that, someday the Master had better call you out on lying about your age.

I love the way Eleven runs, it’s so adorkable.

Eleven tries to get the steampunky organ button machine to work and it won’t, Scrooge says the controls are “isomorphic” which Eleven responds “Fibber! Isomorphic … there’s no such thing” and Scrooge sarcastically turns the thing on and off to prove his point. He says that his family “tamed the skies” and they’re his alone to control. Yeesh. Also, we learn that his name is “Kazran Sardick” which is a pretty cool name. Also, he’s played by the second Dumbledore. That is badass.

Eleven asks for Kazran’s help in saving the 4,003 people crashing in the spaceship. Kazran tells him to fuck-off (PG, of course) and even says “bored now,” which instantly triggers my “Buffy Crossover” sense. He then orders them all thrown out.  Eleven ducks under the Goggles Guards and confronts Kazran, who is amused that Eleven is “all tough now.” Eleven says that this makes Kazran “4,004” to which Scrooge asks “Is that a sort of threat-y thing?” See, Kazran can rock the Buffy-speak too! Eleven warns him that “whatever happens tonight, remember, you brought this on yourself.” Kazran is not amused and orders them thrown out, asking the Goggles Guards to bring him “some funny poor people next time.” the Little Boy throws a bit of coal at Kazran and is nearly backhanded by the old dude, much to the horror and distress of his parents and Eleven, who are held back by the Goggles Guards, but Kazran seems to have an attack of conscience or something and doesn’t hit the kid.

Of course, Eleven is still there. Kazran is still shaken up and doesn’t call for his guards, which gives Eleven time to do a Sherlock Scan, psychoanalyzing from the chairs and the portrait of Kazran’s dad that Kazran was afraid of his father and is afraid of becoming like him. Eleven assures him that he’s not. Kazran fearfully asks why. “Because you didn’t hit the boy,” Eleven says.

(I haven’t mentioned it, but the lighting in this episode is very, very, VERY good. Cold and clear and dark and light and smoky and perfect. Lots of flashes of what you perceive as lightning before realizing that it’s the laserbeams.)

Eleven wishes Kazran a Merry Christmas and leaves. Then he and Amy chat on the phone while the spaceship frantically tries to stop crashing. Amy asks “Do you have a plan?”

Amy: Have you got a plan yet?

Eleven: Yes I do.

Amy: Are you lying?

Eleven: Yes I am.

Amy: Don’t treat me like an idiot.

Rory: Was he lying?

Amy: No, no …

Bahahaha … Amy, you do not deserve fantastic-pants Rory and do not have the right to treat him like a joke.

Also, Doctor? How’s this for a plan? 4,003 people’s lives are at stake, why don’t you cut off one of Kazran’s hands and then sew it back on with your magic wand sonic screwdriver when you’ve saved everybody? Or … offer to sleep with him. Because he seemed more than a little intrigued by you prancing around his room, just sayin’ …

There are fish swimming in the air. The first time I saw this, my brain shut down from sheer undiluted delight. FISH. SWIMMING IN THE AIR. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT IN LIFE, MR. MOFFAT, HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

Eleven is just as enamored as I am. “Fish. Fish that can swim in fog. I love new planets.” he says breathlessly with wonderment.

Amy pleads from the other end of the phone that he not get distracted. I instantly have sympathy for her, from my friends to my boyfriend, I have to deal with that a lot.

Eleven holds up a hand for the cute little “fishy-wishies” to nose at. Awwwww. He doesn’t see the terrifying shadow of a shark behind him. AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! *dives under the bed* Now they can get us on land too? I’ve changed my mind, I’m scared again, Mr. Mofft, are you happy? Do I have to sacrifice a goat to appease you, Mr. Mighty Moffat Man, Lord of My Nightmares, or was my frantic shriek the first time I saw this episode enough?

Because music is playing on the speaks on the lampposts, Amy has to ask the Doctor to repeatedly shout the title of the episode. Hee!

Then the Doctor got an Idea!

We’re treated to a twelve-year-old kid making a steampunk Vlog. He’s adorable, he’s Kid!Kazran. So of course his evil father comes in and yells at him and tells him the fish are dangerous and gives poor Kid!Kazran a smack across the face. While this is going on Grown Up Scrooge Kazran is first sleeping, then wakes up with a start to see his Vlog being projected onto the wall. By the Doctor. Who’s lurking in the background as vaguely Les Miserables music plays. He puts a hand on Kazran’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but as Kazran gets mad and attempts to call for his servants, Eleven sits in his chair and says not to bother because they all quit, having all won the lottery at the same time.When Kazran snarls that there is no lottery, Eleven says “Yeah, as I say … lucky.” It’s … vaguely ominous and a little sinister, the way he says that.

(Have I mentioned that the lighting in this episode makes me want to cry with joy? Because it does.)

Kazran asks who Eleven is, and Eleven says “Tonight … I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past.” Personally I see him as a combination of all three, as the episode progresses, but that’s just me.

Eleven asks if Kazran ever saw a fish. Kazran asks why it matters to Eleven. Eleven nods a the projection of a sobbing Kid!Kazran and says “Look how it mattered to you.” Kazran confesses that he cried all night, but says that he “learned life’s most invaluable lesson” which he bitterly tells Eleven is “nobody comes.” Then he shouts, ordering Eleven out of his house. Eleven promises to leave but says he’ll be back. “Way back. Way way back.”

So of course he Vworps into the past, into the projection and Kid!Kazran’s bedroom, declaring himself the kid’s new babysitter, jumping on the bed, and saying that his normal babysitter won the lottery. Older Kazran snarls in exasperation “THERE ISN’T ANY LOTTERY!” and I sporfle so hard it hurts.

Actually, this plot is a little frightening when you think about it, Eleven is going back and giving Kazran new memories and changing his life, without Kazran’s consent. It’s nice for Kid!Kazran but kind of horrifying for Older Kazran. Imagine watching someone rewrite your life and feeling your memories rearrange and change … *shudders* I won’t touch on that too much if I can help it, I do love this episode, but it is pretty freaking terrifying if you think about it from a certain point of view.

That out of the way, Kid!Kazran is adorable, great rapport with the Doctor, wiser than his age and still a little precocious.

“Right, then, you’re twelve years old, so we’ll say away from under the bed …” Bahahahahahaha! ILU Doctor! ILU, unconscious BBC censors!

Eleven then delivers Mr. Moffat’s Daily Dose of Nightmare Fuel about a monster who creeps down the back of wardrobes. Auuuuuuuuugh! *hides uder the bed and vows never to get a wardrobe*

Then we have this lovely exchange:

Eleven: Right, so what are we going to do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never actually done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls! Yeah?

Kid!Kazran: Are you actually a babysitter? *clearly starting to feel his Stranger Danger sense tingling in a bad way*

Eleven:

I think you'll find I'm universally recognised as a mature and responsible adult. *brandishes Psychic Paper*

Kid!Kazran: It’s … just a bunch of wavy lines.

Eleven: Yeah, it's shorted out. Finally, a lie too big.

I adore these two characters, they work so well together and that’s so delightful. (And no, I don’t mean like THAT, you pervs, he is twelve-years old! I draw the line, and twelve is under the line.)

Eleven says that comparing himself to Mary Poppins would have been a bad idea (not that it’s going to stop the fanfic now …) and asks “Fish in the fog. Fish in the clouds. How do people ever get bored? How did boredom even get invented?” That really sums up Eleven, doesn’t it? He’s NEVER bored. As an only child who had to learn to amuse myself with whatever was around, I can relate to that somewhat.

Eleven is going to let Kid!Kazran see a fish. When Kid!K points out it’s dangerous, Eleven says “Dangerous?! Come on, we're boys! And you know what boys say in the face of danger!” Kid!K asks what. Eleven replies: “Mummy!” Lol, ILU Eleven. How very Xander Harris of you.

Cut to them using the sonic screwdriver as a lure, attached to lots of string and dangling from the ceiling. Also, face-spiders sleep in your mattress. AUUUUUUGH! *runs from under the bed to behind couch*

Turns out Kid!K wants to see the fish because there was an attack at his school one day (nobody was hurt), the most fish ever seen “below the mountains” but he wasn’t there because he was sick. He’s the only one “without a story” and that day is all anyone talks about now. Though he doesn’t say it out loud, you can tell that Eleven can totally sympathize with wanting to have been at a cool historic moment.

They get a pull on the line. Eleven sneaks out: it’s a cute little fish.

Then OMG SHARK AAAAAAUUUGH HIDE!!!

Also it swallowed the sonic screwdriver. They are trapped in the closet with a shark trying to eat them. Scrooge!Kazran is scared, watching the shorted-out screen, and says “It’s going to eat us …” while Kid!Kazran is yelping in terror “it’s going to eat us!” Eleven reaches his arm into the shark’s mouth to retrieve his sonic screwdriver, because “there’s a good chance” that the door is keeping it’s jaw open.

Cut to the roof where the shark is stunned and Eleven is consoling his sonic screwdriver, which is only half what it was because the other half is inside the Shark. Kid!Kazran is tearful because the shark is dying, and he didn’t want to kill it, only stun it. Eleven points out that it was trying to eat them. Kid!K wibbles “She was hungry …” Auuuuuuuuuuuuuw! Why so adorable and caring, Kid!K? Scrooge Kazran looks pretty sad himself. Eleven says they’d need a fully-functioning life-support … like and icebox, which Kid!K says they have! They sneak downstairs, Eleven getting distracted by the Christmas Tree because he is adorable. They struggle to open the door to the basement, which is full of metal coffin box things of frozen people, “the surplus population” as Kid!K’s dad calls them. They can’t open the door until Eleven nips forward and backward for the code from Scrooge!Kazran. They arrive at the frozen sister’s coffin. Kid!Kaz likes her because there’s a hologram of her attached to the coffin where she talks about how she loves the fish. He may be a little in love with her, even as a kid. The people are in the coffins, not for population control as I thought early on, but as “security” for when Kazran’s dad lends people money. What a jerk.

The shark wakes up, homing in on the other half of the screwdriver. There’s a very well-shot scene involving Kid!Kaz, Eleven, the shark, the interesting ice box layout, and Scrooge!Kaz helplessly yelling “RUN!” and me on the edge of my seat.  At first it’s a thrilling chase scene. Then it’s tense and scary and we see the Shark’s fin in the fog. Then … then it becomes beautiful.

Because the girl, Abigail, was unfrozen, and she’s singing opera. Which soothes the shark. Which I thought really gives us a weird version of the Tarot Card for Strength/Fortitude, because I’m a geek like that.

Eleven stumbles into the aisle and tries to explain things with technobabble, but with smaller fish biting him and Kid!Kaz telling him to shut up, “the fish like the singing” he shuts up and listens to the pretty singing. I might have cried at this bit the first time I saw it. It’s so … haunting. Beautiful.

Now, with Scrooge!Kaz, the portrait is of Abigail. Awwwww!

Abigail and Kid!Kaz and Eleven take “the shark inna box” into the TARDIS to set her free in the sky.  Btw, the sky? Full of clouds and light and fish? GORGEOUS! IT’S SO PRETTY I CAN’T EVEN SQUEE, I’M SO ENCHANTED!

On a side note, Abigail is gorgeous and I love how she’s wearing a white nightgown and long sweater-sleeves. Like, these are her underclothes, she puts on loads more layers for day-to-day life.

Scrooge!Kaz practically skips over to his bookcase and takes out a big metal box. Kid!Kaz takes a picture of Abigail. Scrooge!Kaz looks at the picture. It’s in black and white, of course, because steampunks and hipsters agree on photography. (Also, I’ve started to tear up.)

They set the shark free. Abigail asks if the Doctor is “one of [my doctors]” and Eleven asks “do you need a doctor …?” but gets distracted. Really, the enemy in this episode isn’t Kazran, or the clouds, or the crashing spaceship, it’s Eleven’s ADHD.

They box Abigail up again, with Kid!Kaz promising that Eleven comes by every Christmas. Cut to them opening her up again, wearing silly Santa hats. *SQUEE*

Unfortunately, we see the counter on her box go from an 8 to a 7. And I think we’re all Genre Savvy enough to know what that means.

They take a carriage for a joy ride … being pulled by the Shark who swallowed half the screwdriver. I kid you not. It is amazing and exhilarating and so cheesy it WORKS. They managed to Jump the Shark without Jumping the Shark. They RIDE the Shark, ride it all over Ankh-Morpork on Hogswatch night! Yaaaaaaaaay! I really do adore these three, without even shipping them, their rapport and platonic chemistry is fantastic.  

We go from their delighted yelling and soaring through the sky to Scrooge!Kaz looking through his pictures. “How can I have new memories?” he asks.

Eleven and Kid!Kaz in fezes and later 4’s Scarf, yelling “Merry Christmas!” and each time Abigail is beaming and happy to see them, even though her counter is slowly sliding down. Scrooge!Kaz looks through pictures of them in Egypt and all over the place.

Then … then Kid!Kazran is now HotYoungMan!Kazran. Abigail looks him over and approves. Hot!Kaz looks awkward. Oh god, now I want to ship them all, they would have beautiful, skinny, adorkable steampunk sex together …

Hot!Kaz is unsure of himself, seeing as Abigail isn’t just a fun Christmas friend anymore, now she’s a hot blonde girl who’s Smiling At Him too!

Abigail requests that this time, they spend Christmas in her present, so she can go see her family, aka The Cratchits. She wears a blue hooded cloak and cries outside their window.

Hot!Kaz is a bit of a moron when it comes to girls, so he asks the Doctor for advice. “When girls are crying … are you supposed to talk to them?” And Eleven looks bewildered and says “I have absolutely no idea.” *headdkesk* Oh god, if any sex is going to happen at all here Abigail is going to have to do all the instigating. In fact, these two probably won’t notice what she’s getting at until she’s taken off all of their clothes for them and pulled them down onto a bed with her, and even then they might need verbal confirmation.

Hot!Kaz goes over to Abigail:

Abigail: My sister's family. They're so happy.

Hot!Kaz: They look very poor.

Abigail: They are very poor. Doesn’t mean you can’t be happy.

Hot!Kaz: *looks like he might disagree with this but is pondering the idea* Then … why aren’t you?

*the curtain is shut*

Abigail: Because this is the life I can never have.

Hot!Kaz: Why not?

She doesn’t reply, but she does hold his hand. This makes him make a pleased and embarrassed face. She says “I think you’re blushing again.” Um, honey, from that expression I think you just got a bigger reaction than a blush …

Then the curtain is yanked open by Eleven, bless his little suspenders, who waves, grins, and ushers them inside.

Abigail talks with her sister, Hot!Kaz helps the dad with the lights over the fireplace, and Eleven tries and fails at card tricks with one of the kids. It’s hilarious, because he keeps getting the cards wrong and he pouts “Oi, stop it, you’re doing it wrong” to the kid, who’s insisting none of the proffered cards are his. LOL! Abigail’s sister isn’t too keen on Hot!Kaz, as he’ll be just like his evil father and all, but whatever. When she finds out that Abigail can’t stay long, they have Christmas dinner now instead of tomorrow! Awwwwww! They all pull crackers and wear EPIC paper hats and Eleven tries and fails to get the kid the card he picked. LOL. Hot!Kaz and Abigail are holding hands under the table. Awwwww!

Later, Abigail hugs the Doctor and says now she’d like to say goodnight to Kazran, please. Eleven doesn’t Get It at first. *headdesk* Come on, Doctor, this is the reason the Master has to threaten the Earth every time he wants a date, you are so gorram OBLIVIOUS you NEED gigantic signals like that!

Then he does Get It, and awkwardly stumbles away. (Keep him there, Abigail, make it a threeway!) Then Hot!Kaz outdoes Eleven in Stupid tonight and hurries after Eleven, saying “I think she’s going to kiss me!” and Eleven turns him around and tries to push him back, saying “I THINK you’re right.” *snerk* Keep him around, Doc, he makes you look less oblivious by comparison!

Hot!Kaz is scared, admitting that he’s never kissed anyone before, “what do I do?!” Eleven puts an arm around his neck and for a wonderful minute I think he’s going to kiss Kaz to give him practice!  But alas, that does not happen. We get some good advice though:

Eleven: Well...try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky.

Hot!Kaz: Why?

Eleven: You'll be like that anyway. Make it part of the plan. Off you go, then!

Hot!Kaz: What, now? I kiss her now?

Eleven: Kazran, it's this or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don't make my mistakes. Now, go!

Awwwwwww! *sporfles* Also, I wonder who the Doctor’s First Kiss almost was? I doubt Koschei would give up that easily, he’d have jumped Theta Sigma even if he was blushing and stumbling and looking away, he probably loved that … moving on!

As expected, it’s Abigail who makes the first most, glomping Hot!Kaz. Good for her! Hot!Kaz flails with his arms in a hilariously realistic way before putting them around her waist, and I squee at their adorableness.

Scrooge!Kaz looks at pictures of them at NYC, Sydney, Paris, and finally “California 1952.” The boys are in tuxes. God give me strength … *faints*

Abigail stands by a pool, looking sad. Hot!Kaz runs up to her, apparently 11 is gonna do a duet with “Frank [Sinatra]” but she says she has to tell him the very bad, terrible truth. We don’t hear it, we see a deliciously rumpled 11 running up to them, bowtie undone, hair all mussed, COVERED in lipstick marks (rowr!) saying they have to leave “quite quickly” and he’s become “accidentally engaged to Mariyln Monroe.” Bahahahaaa! I love how the show is desperately trying to prove that the Doctor has a case of the Not Gays, but whatever they try they’re never gonna stop him from being cheerfully pansexual. There’s so many ways to interpret his sexuality, honestly, I could write a whole essay on him, but I see him as having long stretches of romantic-asxeuality with almost all of the people and creatures he encounters, but with a special certain few (the Master and River Song are two very good examples) who can really understand what he goes through, living so long through so many events and stuff, who can really connect with him, he can have a sexual love for them, sometimes sexual lust if it’s a quick but meaningful event. At least, that’s how I view him. I don’t think he ever wanted to have sex with Rose, for all that he was in love with her. I think he loves all of his companions in his own way. I think that he and the Master are pretty much soulmates, and that means they understand each other on a mental level but also have really epic hatesex too. I love what the Doctor and River Song have together, even though I haven’t seen Season 6 yet.

So anyways, back to the show!

Hot!Kaz and Abigail are kissing, quite epically, enough that Eleven circles them in amazement, asking how they go that long, “do you breathe out your ears?” and eventually gets fed up and goes off to get married because “see how you like that!”

Hot!Kaz asks Abigail what they’re going to do, and she tearfully says that “there’s nothing to be done.” *wibbles*

They tearfully say goodbye and Abigail goes back to being frozen, Hot!Kaz seeming to have started the “Anger” stage of Grieving. He tells the Doctor that he’d prefer to stop the Christmas tradition. Eleven looks pretty heartbroken, especially when Hot!Kaz undoes the bowtie he was wearing. OUCH. Hot!Kaz looks a mixture of sadness and anger. Eleven gives him the sonic screwdriver, in case he needs to contact him. “I won’t need you.” OUCH. It’s like leaving an imaginary friend, or a stuffed animal, or … I dunno, SANTA. Geez …

Eleven says “What’s happened, what are you not telling me?” but Hot!Kaz walks away.

“What about Abigail?” Eleven asks.

“I know where to find her.” Kaz says, which is especially tear-jerking when you know what he’ll say later.

The counter slides to 1. *sniffles*

Scrooge!Kaz looks at the portrait: back to his evil dad again.

On an unspecified Christmas, Hot!Kaz, dressed in more reserved clothes and slicked-back hair, and his evil dad clink glasses of champagne, because the cloud control machine is complete.

Hot!Kaz: Why do we want to control the fish?

Evil Dad: People are cattle. If you want to control cattle, you need to control their predators.

Hot!Kaz: *makes a face*

Evil Dad: What's the face for? Look what I'm giving you. The sky, and everything beneath it. Only you and I can control this … this planet is ours.

Kaz excuses himself and goes for the sonic screwdriver. He turns and sees Eleven lounging outside his window (very sexy, btw) and waving a little. Kaz glares and shuts the curtains. OUCH. OUCH. Shutting out your childhood … and Christmas … and magic … OUCH.

Scrooge!Kaz retrieves the sonic screwdriver and looks regretful and pensive. Then the phone rings. It’s the President, about the 4,003 people who are gonna die. He snarls “As a very old friend of mine once took a very long time to explain, life isn't fair!” and hangs up.

He looks down at the pictures spread out on the carpet, smiles, and then smiles sadly. It hurts me in my soul. Not like “Vincent and the Doctor,” but it still really hurts.

A hologram of Amy shows up. “I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present!” she says, enjoying herself.

“A Ghost? Dressed like that?” Scrooge!Kaz asks in confusion.

Rory pushes Amy aside and says “Eyes off the skirt!” before Amy pushes him back. LOL. Rory, I say embrace the fact that guys are gonna be checking out your wife, it just means she’s hot … and she chose you! (… mostly, chose you, that is.) Get yourself a cuckolding fetish and you will be just fine.

Scrooge!Kaz hears singing and goes down to the basement where the iced people are. Holograms of some people from the ship are singing “Silent Night.” I get chills down my spine. Amy says they’re singing “for their lives.” OUCH. She brings up Abigail and says that the Doctor was trying to make Kaz a better person.

S!Kaz: He's changed my past. My whole life!

Amy: Time can be rewritten.

S!Kaz: You tell the Doctor, tell him from me, people can't.

Then he brushes the holograms aside and goes to stand in front of Abigail. He then explains to Amy why he doesn’t just “let her out.”

S!Kaz: This is what the Doctor did to me. Abigail was ill when she went into the ice. On the point of death. I suppose the rest in the ice helped her, but she's used up her time. All those Christmas Eves with me. I could release her any time I want... and she would live a single day. … So tell me, Ghost of Christmas Present, how do I choose which day?

OUCH. I HURT IN MY SOUL. THIS IS A FANTASTIC EPISODE.

Amy looks very conflicted and heartbroken, but then goes back to pleading for the lives of everyone on the ship. It’s very believable. When S!Kaz is still unresponsive, she has Rory make S!Kaz the hologram on the ship so he can be on the bridge and see how bad things are. The passengers are still singing, because they haven’t been told that it isn’t working to stabilize the clouds.

Captain: I understand you have a machine that controls this cloud layer. If you can release us from it, we still have time to make a landing. Nobody has to die.

S!Kaz: Everybody has to die.

Amy: Not tonight.

S!Kaz: Tonight's as good as any other. How do you choose?

Amy radios the Doctor, and S!Kaz is back in the basement.

S!Kaz: All my life, I've been called heartless. My other life, my real life, the one you rewrote. Now look at me.

Eleven: Better a broken heart than no heart at all.

S!Kaz: Oh, try it. You try it!

Eleven doesn’t say anything, but in his big puppy eyes and expression you can tell he’s thinking “I live that every day.” OWWWWWW. (See, this is why I like Eleven more than Ten. Eleven doesn’t angst nearly as much as Ten. He acknowledges his past and his pain but he’s MOVED ON. He can get through it, he knows, he spent two regenerations working through that grief and for the most part he’s doing well now.)

Eleven then says that he’s shown Kaz the past and present, it’s time to the future. S!Kaz basically says “fuck you, I know we all die cold and alone, what’s the fucking point of showing me that, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HUMAN LIFE” but the PG version of that and it’s really well acted. Then … then Eleven says that he IS showing him the Future … and Kid!Kaz is behind him.

“Is this who you want to become, Kazran?” Eleven asks.

Kid!Kaz says “Dad?” confused, and S!Kas drops his cane and is about to strike Kid!Kaz. Then he flashes back to getting hit, and almost hitting Abigail’s nephew earlier this episode, and then to the good memories, and then he breaks down and cries and hugs his younger self and OH MY GOD DON’T TOUCH THE BABY NOW PTERODACTYLS WILL EACH THE WORLD FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Ok, ok, leaving aside the retconning of “can’t touch your other self” this is a very powerful and emotional scene and had me in tears both the first and second time I watched it. I mean, everything about it … wow.

Plus, so much of Eleven is being at unity with his “inner child” as it were, he IS his inner-child, but with adult sensibilites and memories and experience for the most part, if that makes any sense. He’s just gotten Kazran to literally embrace his inner-child. What could be more fitting than that?

They prepare to save the ship, but S!Kazran has changed so much that the controls no longer respond! … I don’t understand the science-magic-technobabble of all that, so let’s just accept that, ok?

Eleven is at a loss, S!Kaz suggests the screwdriver, and the music gets Epic. *SQUEE*

… unfortunately, the brilliant plan of transmitting into the clouds will only work with Abigail’s singing. Eleven looks so apologetic and sad when he tells S!Kaz this.

They stand before Abigail’s box. S!Kaz says “Could you do it? Could you do this? Think about it, Doctor. One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose?” Eleven looks sad and thoughtful. Is he thinking of River, I wonder? The Master? A lost companion? I don’t know … maybe he’s thinking of all of them. *huggles him*

Abigail gets out of the ice and touches S!Kaz’s face. He cries and tries to weakly protest, but she says “We've had so many Christmas Eves, Kazran. I think it's time for Christmas Day.” And now I’m crying too. People facing death with dignity really, really get to me and hurt my soul …

Abigail sings, and her voice is simply exquisite. The ship stablizes. If that weren’t enough, it starts to SNOW. I’m crying now. It’s the kind of tears you get when you see something really beautiful, bittersweet, heartbreaking, unavoidable but something you can accept.

Really, that’s how I feel about this episode, unlike previous Doctor Who Christmas Specials, which so often leave you wanting to die and never see Christmas again, this one left me feeling a little sad, yes, but the bittersweet sadness of loss that you can get through, with hugs from friends and time to reflect. Ultimately, it’s the good kind of hurt, a sadness you can cope with. And for that, I applaud it heartily.

S!Kaz and Singing Abigail share an emotional moment with no dialogue as around them people in awesome hats spin around in the snow in wonder. Eleven takes Kid!Kaz home. Rory and a shivering Amy approach the Doctor, who tries twice to ask them about their strange outfits, which both of them avoid. Come on, guys, you’re rooming with him and traveling with him, he’s gotta find out about your kinky roleplay sooner or later …

Amy hugs Eleven, Rory tries to do one of those manly fake-punch things that fails utterly. Poor guy. I love Rory.

Rory goes into the TARDIS tells the Doctor that Marilyn is calling the TARDIS. “Tell her I'll phone her back. And that was never a real chapel …” Eleven says, looking awkward.

Amy goes into the TARDIS, leaving Eleven to reflect a little.

Eleven says “Halfway out of the dark …” and goes inside the TARDIS as the music swells.

Up above the city, S!Kaz and Abigail ride the shark in a carriage, laughing and happy. Awwwwwwwwwwwww!

Season 6!!!

Pirates, Nazis, the Secret Service, the Oval Office, (Utah …?), Nice Hat, RIVER SONG!, a chained up bearded guy, Naked River Song, an Ood, creepy doll masks, and an ominous creepy monster in a suit I think. Also, lots of Amy and Rory, which is always fantastic.  

Comments

[lesmisloony.livejournal.com]

Look REALLY close at that chained-up bearded guy in the sneak peeks... you may find you recognise him. ;)