Claude's Journal Entries (fic)
Aug. 6th, 2007 02:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aunt_zeldaTitle: Claude’s Journal Entries
Rating: PG-13. I think.
Genre: I tried for crack. I really did …
Warnings: If you haven’t watched all of Season 1 of Heroes, you shouldn’t be here, you should be at nbc.com catching up!
Disclaimer: Uh … obviously I don’t own Heroes, because if I did, I’d have Plaude making out on screen instead of in slash fics or my twisted mind …
Summary: Claude’s JOURNAL entries. Written around one-thirty in the morning. Blame that, and me, and xmen_geek.
My Thoughts: So, xmen_geek wrote some hysterical fics about Peter’s diary. Then she started on Claude’s journal, which she can’t seem to write. The entries, I mean. She writes lovely, hysterical fics. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. xmen_geek gave me permission. These may or may not be bad, but SHE LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE. (And just for the record, Claude doesn’t draw little squiggles and stars between entries. I did to make it easier to read!) This is dedicated to xmen_geek. It’s all her fault anyway.
Another cold day in NYC …
Today a whiny adolescent saw me. I tried to strangle him against and pole. Didn’t work out so well, but it was fun.
Apparently he’s a bloody empath. Fantastic, that.
Whiny Empath was raving about explosions and stuff. Stormed off. Bloody kids these days …
~*~
Same day, bloody kid followed me …
Whiny Empath followed me to the Roof. He was blah-blahing about needing my sodding help and exploding and the guy who used to own this building. Threatened to kill him. Enjoyed look of fear in kid’s face. Must remember that forever … but promised not to return to the Roof. Hope Whiny Empath believed me, those pigeons are my only friends …
~*~
Bloody empath … SAME DAY …
Rescued Whiny Empath from his stuck-up brother and a scientist with a truly horrific rainbow scarf and a … pink sweater …
I nearly vomited, and I’ve seen some sketchy things in my time.
Still, grabbing Whiny Empath, pinning him to the wall, and putting my hand over his mouth was an event I wouldn’t mind repeating.
Helped myself to some beer from Whiny Empath’s fridge. Nice beer.
Decided to help Whiny Empath. NYC going bye-bye isn’t exactly ideal. Left and made joke about stealing a cab. Whiny Empath followed.
~*~
Sun refuses to come out. This only made the day BETTER …
Whiny Empath’s name is Peter, but now I’m calling him ‘Poodle’ and ‘pup’ and I don’t know why. Probably because Peter’s face gets all angry and cute when I call him ‘Poodle’ …
Taught him to steal stuff. Didn’t work out so well.
Advised Peter to forget about his family. They obviously don’t appreciate him properly. That brother gives me the creeps, his poster is all over town …
Peter started yapping about ‘Simone.’ Can’t wait to see his face fall …
~*~
Same day. Bloody FANTASTIC day …
Peter’s girl went out to dinner with some junkie painter guy with fluffy hair. Peter got upset that I showed him how much the human race sucks. Went back and forth and back and forth a bit, and I was winning, so I threw him off of a building. FUN took on a whole new meaning.
Peter shoved me into a wall afterwards. Got excited …
Peter started freaking out. Had to knock him out. Contact with Peter isn’t bothering me in the slightest.
~*~
Lovely day …
Whacked Peter around with a stick. Stop thinking that! (I mean a quarterstaff, like, made of wood?) Whatever … it took a lot of willpower not to tackle the kid and start making out with him right there on the Roof. Couldn’t, though – the pigeons were watching …
~*~
The world might as well have exploded …
Talked about pigeons for a bit. Got a bit philosophical, then sodding Bennet showed up and tazered me. Peter threw me off the Roof and flew away with me. Kinda fun, if I hadn’t been going unconscious …
Woke up in Peter’s apartment. Punched him in his lovely face. Got REALLY angry about the Company and Bennet and that junkie with the fluffy hair … Peter’s such an idiot. Can’t believe I fantasized about taking him there on the Roof …
Had to run away, again. Hope Peter doesn’t explode … that would SO be like him …
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 07:05 am (UTC)hahahaha
this is made of win and god.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 07:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:57 am (UTC)Heee!
NYC going bye-bye isn’t exactly ideal.
See, Claude can never escape his company heritage ... ;)
Love that you wrote this. Thank you! ... are you going to write any more?
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:22 pm (UTC)You know, I JUST realized he was basically quoting Noah ... or was Noah quoting CLAUDE?! Ooooo ...
Love that you wrote this. Thank you! ... are you going to write any more?
Welcome! Perhaps ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 11:13 pm (UTC)*g* We may never know!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:54 am (UTC)*shivers*
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:24 pm (UTC)You did so awesome keeping it funny and in character. Good job. :)
Awww ... thanks!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 03:43 pm (UTC)(hee, fluffy hair)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 02:12 am (UTC)That's one of my favorite parts. I miss Isaac's fluffy hair ... (remember when he fluffs it prettily in the Burnt Toast Diner with Hiro and Ando? Good times ...)
I cannot wait for the DVDs!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 04:18 pm (UTC)loved how you went in order of the actual events cannon that happened on the show and then added a little twists to them....
:D
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:16 pm (UTC)loved how you went in order of the actual events cannon that happened on the show and then added a little twists to them....
:D
Thanks! That was fun ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 06:09 pm (UTC)Stop thinking that! (I mean a quarterstaff, like, made of wood?)- Oh, Claude is such a teenaged girl...
Couldn’t, though – the pigeons were watching … - As if they wouldn't enjoy the show...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:19 pm (UTC)I know, isn't Claude a depressed little bugger?
Oh, Claude is such a teenaged girl...
It had to be put in. It just HAD TO.
As if they wouldn't enjoy the show...
Well, I KNOW that, and YOU know that, but Claude doesn't know the pigeons are voyeuristic ... did you happen to read that fic?
http://see-bee-flee.livejournal.com/2850.html#cutid1
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:46 am (UTC)In Part 2, perhaps some slash fans will bribe the pigeons into taking pictures ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:10 pm (UTC)LMAO!!! This is so freakin' cute!! I likes...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:22 pm (UTC)Isn't it? Thank you!
Should I write more? ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 08:55 pm (UTC)Plaude in a nutshell.
I love crack so.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:41 am (UTC)Indeed ... *nods sagely*
I love crack so.
This was cracky enough? Good! I have trouble with crack ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:53 am (UTC)but this was HILARIOUS.
You flatter! Really! *blushes*
Especially the worry about the pigeons watching.
Those birds are rather untrustworthy ... I think slashers are reincarnated as pigeons ... especially THOSE pigeons ... Part 2 elaborates on that a bit ...
Read this!
http://see-bee-flee.livejournal.com/2850.html#cutid1
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 04:04 pm (UTC)Peter and his emo bang always make me grit my teeth in annoyance. I didn't REALLY start to like Claude until he started beating Peter with his big stick. That cheered me up immensely. ;p
Read this!
OK, that was hilarious too...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 04:57 pm (UTC)Have you not heard me rant and rave about how I DESPISE PETER? Unless he's with Claude, or in FYG, I want him to just go away.
didn't REALLY start to like Claude until he started beating Peter with his big stick. That cheered me up immensely. ;p
I LOVE Claude because he actually TELLS Peter he's whiny and annoying and needs to grow up and control his powers. And whacks him with quarterstaves, and hits him, and throw him off of buildings. All of these things NEEDED to be done to Peter. Hopefully Claude will come back and do them some more.
OK, that was hilarious too...
I love that fic.
(Don't like Plaude? Have you READ c_quinn's stuff? I have a BUNCH of Plaude links here: http://aunt-zelda.livejournal.com/14256.html#cutid1
c_quinn's stuff is 'To Dream And Wake Up To The Stars' and 'Rise Beyond the Black' they're fantasy epics and FANTASTIC. If you don't like Plaude, you'll LOVE THOSE!)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:20 am (UTC)http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/48823.html#cutid1 - To Dream and Wake Up to the Stars: Part 1
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/50627.html#cutid1 – Part 2
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/50910.html#cutid1 – Part 3
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/52200.html#cutid1 – Part 4
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/53924.html#cutid1 – Part 5
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/54572.html#cutid1 - Part 6
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/55702.html#cutid1 – Part 7
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/56573.html#cutid1 – Part 8
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/56965.html#cutid1 – Part 9
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/58316.html#cutid1 – Part 10
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/59499.html#cutid1 – Part 11
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/60577.html#cutid1 – Part 12
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/61251.html#cutid1 – Part 13
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/62219.html#cutid1 – Part 14
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/66961.html#cutid1 – Part 15
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/67337.html#cutid1 – Part 16
http://c-quinn.livejournal.com/34028.html#cutid1 or http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/69027.html#cutid1 – Part 17
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/69726.html#cutid1 – Part 18
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/70217.html#cutid1 – Part 19
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/71069.html#cutid1 – Part 20
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/73923.html#cutid1 – Part 21
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/74262.html#cutid1 – Part 22
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/75108.html#cutid1 – Part 23
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/76671.html#cutid1 - Part 24
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/77113.html#cutid1 – Part 25
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/77552.html#cutid1 – Part 26
http://community.livejournal.com/peterandclaude/78416.html#cutid1 – Part 27
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 12:32 am (UTC)Only Claude can appreicate the poodle. ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 02:09 am (UTC)Nobody else seemed to notice that line ... but I rather liked it! Claude was jealous, even then ... why else did he suggest punching Nathan's picture? ...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-12 04:05 pm (UTC)Tee hee! I can so hear Claude saying this after meeting Mohinder.
I loves it! Crack is delicious ^_^
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:31 am (UTC)That's why I wrote it ... we were ALL thinking it as well ...
I loves it! Crack is delicious ^_^
I'm planning to post more ... someday ... I always worry with cracky, sometimes I get too serious ...