aunt_zelda | What aunt_zelda Thinks: GoT S5, ep02, The House of Black and White (Reply)

So this episode was mostly setting up stuff for later. Not a lot happened here, just a lot of people moving from point A to point B or setting things in motion that will pay off much later. Establishing some new locations and new stuff, again, for later.

Two things I’ve decided:

1) Shireen Baratheon is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.

2) I wanna start yelling “SOMONE PLEASE HELP SANSA STARK” ala the rallying cry in the NBC Hannibal fandom for Will Graham between seasons 1 and 2.

x-Posted to my tumblr because why not

“My marriage proposal has been accepted”

OH GOD IF SANSA IS JEYNE POOLE NOW I AM LEAVING. FUCK THIS SHOW. GOODBYE.

Petyr trying to get Sansa, a child, drunk. Great.

I have given up on figuring out where the fuck this plotline is going.

Sansa and Brienne meet OMG SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I’m worried. They’ve repeated the whole “a shadow with Stannis’ face” thing. That means they want the audience to remember that. That means that maybe Brienne vs. Stannis is gonna happen and there’s no way that ends well for me, a fan of both of them.

Hey I just had a thought. Lady Stoneheart finds Sansa and kills Petyr. Brienne returns to her service. Happy zombie badass family unit saves the North and the Riverlands. The end.

Hey I can dream.

“I’m going to Dorne. And I’m bringing my daughter home.”

So this is now, officially, completely, weird ass canon divergent fanfiction.

So, Lollys is no longer fat, and now seems to be very vaguely mentally disabled. On the upside, she wasn’t gangraped by a riot, so at least we were spared that from HBO.

Aw, come on, Bronn isn’t even gonna marry her? Boo! Fuck this show.

Oooooo, hello Indira Varma! I love you!

So, on the downside, they aged Myrcella and Trystane up probably for sex scenes and/or violence.

On the upside, we might get some white woman/man of color intimacy, which is ridiculously rare on American television.

Alexander Siddig: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Man’s still got it. Mmmmmmm.

Also, important powerful character who is disabled, and visibly disabled on a tv show. They kept some good stuff from the books.

OH GOD COME ON. So instead of Arianne Martell and her plots and her political aspirations and her justified indignation at being set aside in favor of her younger brother - contrary to Dornish law - and the Sand Snakes and their complex and varied tactics and strategies and reactions … we have an angry vengeance-seeking WoC who wants to dismember an innocent child. Also, this is coming from ELLARIA SAND, YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO URGED RESTRAINT AND NO REVENGE IN THE BOOK, AND BEGGED THE SAND SNAKES NOT TO DO MURDEROUS VENGEANCE AND TO PLEASE STOP THE CYCLE OF DEATH??!??!?

So we have a passionate, “hysterical” woman vs. a level-headed man.

I don’t know what I expected but this is just insulting.

Barristan, ILU, but this is not making sense. “Don’t be like your insane father and execute a known murdering vigilante slavery-supporter.”

Aerys got off on burning people alive, repeatedly and violently raped his wife, was paranoid of his own son, and tried to nuke the entire capitol. Dany is trying to systematically destroy slavery in a city state that ran on it. She’s fucking up sometimes but she’s nowhere near her dad. I do not see parallels here. Sometimes Medieval rulers have to execute people. It happens.

Qyburn, woohoo! Medieval Mad Scientist, awesome!

Cersei is actually being much smarter and less, y’know, paranoid and Idiot Ball Holding, in this version. I’m ok with this.

Kevan Lannister going “peace out” makes less sense though, in light of Cersei acting smart and pretty ok, considering how things could have gone.

Oh my gods who isn’t Shireen gonna teach to read. Awwwwwwwww. Open a school in Braavos and please be safe and live long, you precious beautiful cinnamon roll.

I’m really worried about that Greyscale thing becoming a plot point.

Omg Stannis in a scene with actual light and Davos is there and alfkdjalkajfdlajflajlajg maybe I can pretend life is good.

OMG LYANNA MORMONT YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY! “Do you know this wretched girl” Stannis Baratheon, taunted effectively, by a child of ten.

Stannis why are you looking at Jon fondly. That’s a look for Davos and Mel and Shireen.

Oh god there Stannis goes again, asking someone to kneel to him. *fans self* Stephen Dillane please, I am not strong, I am so, so weak.

I’m a little annoyed we missed out on all the cool political maneuvering Sam did in the books. HBO could have done that justice. Instead it comes off like something Sam just thought up in five seconds after hearing Jon was gonna refuse Stannis’ offer.

I think they’re doing a much better job of showing how Dany is trying to rule and running into problems. I think that was a very effective scene. Maybe I’m just accepting scraps here, but it’s a helluva a lot more compelling and interesting than the many long, dragging, repetetive chapters from the latter books with her.

Well, next week we get Walda Frey, some naked old man, Petyr being creepy to poor Sansa, Arya getting her Assassin’s Creed training, and political shenanigans at the Wall. So that should be … good? I guess?

At least I know Stannis will be there.

~*~

Prostitutes: 0
Dead prostitutes: 0
Rape/Sexual Assault: 0
Gay Sex: 0
Team Dragonstone: TWO WELL-LIT AND REALLY ENJOYABLE SCENES
My favs: Not as many, but they’re here, and they’re ok so far.
Conclusion: Things are just ok but I’m worried for the future.