aunt_zelda: (Default)
aunt_zelda ([personal profile] aunt_zelda) wrote2017-08-18 10:42 am
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Today is my Birthday

I’ve been reflecting on where I was at last year, to where I am now.

Last year I wan't in a good place. I was lonely and stressed, isolated as hell. I'd had a shitty year. I didn't even tell my coworkers it was my birthday at an all day meeting. I got home, my roommate had gotten me a cake, and I cried. Then we watched Stranger Things all night and it turned out much better for a birthday. But last year wasn't so good for me. I wasn’t writing, I was stressed a lot, I was worried for my family and worried about living up to their expectations. I was volunteering just to get out of the house, mostly just talking to malnourished kittens and not other humans. I was doubting myself as a roommate, a friend, a worker, a writer, a person.

This year? I'm in 3 D&D groups, I meet up with friends for board games every weekend, and I have so many friends sometimes we exceed the limits of our board games. I got really into Critical Role and that’s brought me to even more friends. I've had two awesome new roommates, one who was sad about moving out to be closer to her job, one who currently lives with me and my long time roommate. I'm full time at my job and working on not being so stressed. I have the tattoo I wanted for six years. I'm going goth. I'm networking. I got a classmate a job. These are all huge and important things.

There’s still stuff I want to change about my life, I’m still stressed at times, I still have doubts. But where I'm at right now? Is so much better than where I was last year. Last year I felt like a mess, I was incredibly lonely, and I was being crushed under the weight of stress about my job. This year, I have a lot to be proud of, a lot to be happy about, and the drive to move forward and pursue the things I want.

I want to save money. I want to get a new used car in a year if that’s necessary, or paint my current car if it keeps running. I want more tattoos. I want to keep going goth. I want to move into a bigger apartment and get a cat. I want to exercise regularly. Most of all I want to be writing scripts again.

A lot can, and has, changed in a year. If we’ve talked at all here, you’ve been a part of that, small or large. Thank you all.
alexxkay: (Default)

[personal profile] alexxkay 2017-08-18 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Happy birthday! We miss you!