aunt_zelda: (Default)
I’ve been reflecting on where I was at last year, to where I am now.

Last year I wan't in a good place. I was lonely and stressed, isolated as hell. I'd had a shitty year. I didn't even tell my coworkers it was my birthday at an all day meeting. I got home, my roommate had gotten me a cake, and I cried. Then we watched Stranger Things all night and it turned out much better for a birthday. But last year wasn't so good for me. I wasn’t writing, I was stressed a lot, I was worried for my family and worried about living up to their expectations. I was volunteering just to get out of the house, mostly just talking to malnourished kittens and not other humans. I was doubting myself as a roommate, a friend, a worker, a writer, a person.

This year? I'm in 3 D&D groups, I meet up with friends for board games every weekend, and I have so many friends sometimes we exceed the limits of our board games. I got really into Critical Role and that’s brought me to even more friends. I've had two awesome new roommates, one who was sad about moving out to be closer to her job, one who currently lives with me and my long time roommate. I'm full time at my job and working on not being so stressed. I have the tattoo I wanted for six years. I'm going goth. I'm networking. I got a classmate a job. These are all huge and important things.

There’s still stuff I want to change about my life, I’m still stressed at times, I still have doubts. But where I'm at right now? Is so much better than where I was last year. Last year I felt like a mess, I was incredibly lonely, and I was being crushed under the weight of stress about my job. This year, I have a lot to be proud of, a lot to be happy about, and the drive to move forward and pursue the things I want.

I want to save money. I want to get a new used car in a year if that’s necessary, or paint my current car if it keeps running. I want more tattoos. I want to keep going goth. I want to move into a bigger apartment and get a cat. I want to exercise regularly. Most of all I want to be writing scripts again.

A lot can, and has, changed in a year. If we’ve talked at all here, you’ve been a part of that, small or large. Thank you all.
aunt_zelda: (Default)
I … I marathoned it all tonight.

My roommate and I were gonna watch like, a few episodes while eating my birthday cake, and call it a night. We’re both very tired, me especially.

And we just … kept going. We couldn’t stop. Around the 4th episode we decided we’d just keep going until we finished.


Also like, pretty scary? I’m not good with horror sometimes and this had me hiding behind a pillow and peeking through my fingers. Hell I even screamed really loudly a few times!

The music. The lighting. The ACTORS. The direction. The writing.

Also, D&D. Gotta love seeing that on tv and done well.

I cried. I laughed. I screamed. I panicked. I cheered.

I was having a not so good time today, feeling pretty down this week. This marathon was JUST what I needed.

Thank you!

Aug. 18th, 2014 09:47 pm
aunt_zelda: (GarlicIsTheAnswer)
x-posted to my tumblr

Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

I had a great, weird day with my mom. Highlights include:

  • Having my ingrown toenails attacked by a nice doctor (cried at the needles, and then went "ooo!" over the painless gore.)

  • Watching my mom decorate adorable pastries for a financial event.

  • Drinking my first legal drink and spluttering and making a disgusted face (managed six big sips), got tipsy, laughed at by my mother, laughed with my mother, and felt buoyant.

  • Amused waitress giving me the drink on the house, and bringing out our dessert pizza with a candle in it.

  • Taking a nap in the parking lot with my tipsy mother.

  • Staggering around the Walmart looking for reflector screens among the shrieks of the damned.

  • Having an awkward phone call with my father that was nice but also sad.

  • Eating birthday cake for dinner.

  • Delaying my road trip by a day because my toes hurt too much.

  • Talking with my boyfriend and planning my visit later this week to meet his family and possibly watch Guardians of the Galaxy again.

So, very strange day. Ultimately, I had fun, enjoyed it, and am pleased with how things worked out. I'm annoyed I have to delay my trip by a day but it's for the best, my toes need to rest up and stop bleeding, and I could use the extra day to relax, keep my feet up, do some last minute rearranging of my stuff, and maybe get some fanfic writing in before deadlines eat me.

Thank you all for your kind words and messages of support. This month has been stressful and very busy for me, knowing my friends are out there really does help. My 21st birthday is almost over, and I feel good.

aunt_zelda: (GarlicIsTheAnswer)

I'm turning 21 tomorrow.

I feel like I'm supposed to be reflecting on my life so far or getting excited about turning 21, but really I'm just feeling really tired and concentrating on packing. SO MUCH STUFF. First part of the road trip starts soon. I have to prepare for THAT.

Had a great weekend with my grandparents. No, really, saw two Shakespeare shows and had a little birthday party with the family, delicious cake and some presents. It was nice and relaxing. Tomorrow I've got lots of errands to run, but hopefully there'll be time in the evening to watch a movie or something.

Depending on tomorrow, I might consider this past weekend my birthday.

Or I might consider the MASSIVE WEEK-LONG CROSS-COUNTRY ROAD TRIP my birthday.


x-posted to my tumblr because why not

aunt_zelda: (GarlicIsTheAnswer)
Title: Watching You
Rating: R
Word Count: 917 (aprox.)
Pairings, Characters: Nu!Critic/Bennett the Sage
Warnings: spanking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, degrading talk.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, mean no disrespect, etc.
Summary: Critic is a brat through the whole review, so Bennett decides to punish him. Bennett’s plan backfires a bit.
A/N: For [ profile] emeriin who deserves much more than this little fic. There’s plenty more fics with your name on them, waiting in the future, I promise! Happy birthday!

Read more... )
aunt_zelda: (Default)
Title: The Present
Rating: R – NC-17, depending on how you squint
Word Count: 1,620
Pairings/Characters: ATG/Critic, allusions to emeriin
Disclaimer: I own nothing and nobody. Find these guys at, but don’t expect anything like this to go down.
Warnings: Edgeplay – specifically cutting with a knife, dubcon, incest, threatened castration, degrading talk, playing with the fourth-wall, unsafe autoerotic asphyxiation. Un-beta'd. 
Summary: Guy knows it’s somebody’s birthday; the Critic isn’t happen about being “the present.”
A/N: Happy birthday, emeriin! You are, and continue to be, one of the best people I’ve met on the internet. One of these days I’m going to make it across the pond and meet you “for real.” For now, I hope you enjoy this strange, disturbing, strange fanfic I wrote for you.  
Happy birthday to you ...  )

aunt_zelda: (Default)
 Today's my eighteenth birthday.

So I can tell the whole internet how old I am, at long last. I've come a long way since that blushing thirteen-and-a-half-year-old who posted Mylar fanfiction and rambling recaps of Heroes episodes.

Sometimes I feel my age, all grown up as it were, especially when I'm driving around by myself, making wrong turns and blasting music and deciding where to go. Mostly I don't feel old enough at all. Sometimes I feel like a lost little kid. Then I start to feel scared, and then I want to cry. I don't want to grow up.

But I can vote now. That's awesome. LJ won't give me messages about content being "for adults only" anymore. That's also awesome.

(For those of you keeping score, I was 15-and-a-half when I posted 'Nerd-on-Critic Action' and 16 when Bennett read my fanfic to the world.)

The reasons I've been less than prolific with my writing over the past two years is because I was busy with my junior and senior years of high school, the SATs, my enormous senior project of doom, visiting and applying to colleges, learning to drive, getting a job, having my first boyfriend, and stressing about most of that in a very time-consuming way.

I'm not a kid anymore. I may still feel like one, but I'm not. Lots of people are going to expect me to do a lot of things by myself with no help whatsoever, and that's TERRIFYING to me. They're going to say things like "I'm not going to hold your hand" or "I'm not your mother." I'm NOT READY.

I'm excited about college. It's going to be awesome and fun and I'm going to learn so much and meet so many cool people and it's what I've been working towards for years. It's cool that I'm eighteen now.

Right now, around midnight, I feel kinda sad and kinda scared and kinda anxious, all mixed up with sleepiness and excitement and anticipation. I'm gonna be ok. I just don't feel so ok right now. 
aunt_zelda: (Default)
 Title: Miss Me?
Rating: R for swearing and talk of sexytimes
Word Count: 847
Characters/Pairings: Critic/Nerd, mentions of other characters
Disclaimer: I do not own either of these gentlemen, a simple google search will bring up their websites, oh hai there Bennett, etc.
Spoilers: For Kickassia.
Warnings: Copious amounts of swearing. My first fic in months (excepting the Kink Meme stuff.)
A/N: Happy birthday, emeriin! It was a lot of fun to write again, especially for someone as talented, kind, and awesometastic as you!
aunt_zelda: (DragonCake)
 *tosses confetti* Huzzah, what a fantastic birthday!

My alarm didn't go off (I set it for PM instead of AM, so I woke up about five minutes before I was supposed to leave for work. I've never moved that fast in my LIFE, good god, I'm still in shock.) but that meant I got to sleep in, and I got to work on time. Work was good, everyone wished me a happy b-day and now I have several days off, woot!
Later on I got some AWESOME presents, including several geeky t-shirts! *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* Then I went to see a HILARIOUS play and now I'm messing around online before the inevitable kerslump.
Tomorrow I think I'm going to see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, so look for a short WAZT in less than 24 hours.

Also, awesome_emmy once again lived up to her name and wrote me a TGWTG/Soon I Will Be Invincible crossover. I think I'm in heaven.
aunt_zelda: (dragon cake)

It’s xmen_geek’s birthday! Wish my lovely wife a happy day!

And have a moment of silence for everyone who died six years ago.

(Wow, time has flown! I haven’t gotten hotter or more badass in this time, like FYG, but still … well, I’m now a slash addict and author!)

Oh, and has anyone read the new graphic novel?! Mohinder saved a MURDERER! From a scary new COMPANY MAN! YAY! (No, it’s wasn’t Sylar sadly, but still!)

aunt_zelda: (dragon cake)
My birthday - which has kinda been going on since Friday - seeing as I started getting gifts and cards from various relations then and uploaded my awesome birthday icon (the dragon cake) which I'll be using for a few more days, as a relation is treating me to the movies on Tuesday (Stardust! YAY!)
The play ended today with a matinee - kinda sad - but it was fun and they filmed it today. I think that Saturday was the best show - I usually do, yet people always film on Sunday - and then I helped strike the set, which took a while (a bunch of the cast didn't help - relations and backstage people and myself and a few other cast members did most of the work.) But before I could partake in the potluck dinner everyone was joining - my relations dragged me off to have dinner - most of which I didn't really like and felt HORRIBLE about not eating ... and I found myself inexplicably crying outside on the steps with a relation. My face gets all blotchy and red when I cry - it's awful. Damn hormones ... and I've been a bit off from lack of sleep and the play but I'll see everyone next week for the cast party ... but still ...
I still feel crummy ... but I got to see Doctor Who today and I'm re-watching The 10th Kingdom Part 1 (LOVE WOLF! *dances about and feels a bit better*
I'd appreciate some cyber-hugs ... I'll be up for a bit as Part 2 of Revengers Tragedy loads ... so I might end up watching Shakespeare in Love  for the sixtieth time (you should ALL watch that movie ... ALL OF YOU!) and I got Eclipse for my birthday! *dances about* I'm about halfway through but still hold firm to the belief that Bella is an idiot who should be with Jake the werewolf forever and ever and leave the annoying vampire who sent her into that horrible depression that lasted several months and JAKE NOT EDWARD brought her out of ... foolish, idiotic, mean girl ...


aunt_zelda: (Default)

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